News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

self-pity

Facing Yourself As The Other In Your Relationship

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comRelationships are funny things. They are by their very nature designed to elicit the best and worst from the individuals involved in them.

Although it may appear in a relationship as if you are involved with another distinct person, you are, in fact involved with an underlying, obscured part of yourself, which needs identifying and relating to. With appropriate understanding and recognition, you can see your way clear to an insightful experience.

Once having subjected yourself to the nebulous involvement, you will no longer need to refer to your actions with dread of ‘doing the wrong thing,’ or suffering unnecessary hurt. You will comprehend that it is impossible to avoid anything and there is no guarantee associated with the leap into the depths of your own foreboding abyss.

The fact of the matter is that you will emerge unscathed and filled with unmistakable self-knowledge and power attached to the plummeting into the relational depths of tense despair. By facing both the dark side and light side of your vehemently nervous, fretful mind, you will be freed from the bonds of panic and contentious worry that forever plague you.

Your undisclosed, insecure personality, as revealed in the other person, is laden with criticism, negativity and lack of confidence, based upon the premise of unawareness. The guilt, anxiety, and duty you have attached to personal responsibility in the outcome of the relationship is nothing short of nauseating. You are not that important in the material scope of things.

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Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.

So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.

Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.

Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.

A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.

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Inspiration In A Time Of Crisis

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comDuring this time of the coronavirus lockdown in Spain, I realize that I am fortunate, and for this I am very grateful. For example, I already work from home and I am also accustomed to a certain amount of social isolation, for reasons of choice, at least for the time being.

Furthermore, I can do and buy the necessary. Here in Spain, we are allowed to go out for necessities, to help the vulnerable, and to walk our dogs, but we are encouraged to keep our distance from others and make shopping a swift event. Again, getting shopping done as quickly as possible has always been my preference anyway!

But, even I am aware of missing the occasional coffee in town with a friend, or being able to travel back to the place I moved from last year, to have lunch with a special friend there. Where I live, people are very social and tactile, and interact at any given occasion. They love to meet at their neighbors’ homes, or in bars and restaurants, which are all currently closed.

I have been thinking how this situation might go one of two ways for many families, currently cooped up in small homes or apartments. They could become very frustrated, especially if there are small children confined in a small space. Or, they might get very creative with how to use their time, as well as appreciating being able to spend time with one another and their pets.

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Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”

Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.

Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.

If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate.  The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.

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The Transformative Power Of Gratitude

CLICK HERE for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe act of giving thanks is a transformative one. When we live in gratitude, our energy vibration becomes elevated, and this positivity spreads outward like the ripples in water. If you’ve ever heard of paying it forward, this is the same idea! Gratitude changes lives – both our own and that of others.

Being appreciative and giving thanks to others, to the Universe, to the Earth for its sustenance, raises positive energies which will in turn come back to us.

Sometimes being grateful can feel like a chore, or something we need to pretend feeling. Every one of us experiences hardship and adversity. Life’s challenges sometimes get even the most grateful people down. The best way to flip that into something positive is to make a list of gratitude statements, in your mind, aloud, or in your journal.

Are you grateful for your friends, family, your health, the beauty of nature? Maybe you’re simply thankful you were able to get up this morning, when many other people were not.

Make this process one from the heart. Feel the positive energy. After a while, it will become an uplifting habit, and your body and mind will start to enjoy the positive rush of feelings. Let this routine be the first thing you do in the morning, and the last one you do at night before sleep.

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Loser-Victims And Their Helpers

click here for free introductory reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you grow up receiving a lot of ‘negative attention’ you are taught that love feels and sounds like being told (or shown) that you are always wrong, slow, stupid, annoying, useless, not worth the time and energy, not lovable, and never, ever, good enough. This means that as a child, you would only receive attention when you were told that you were doing things wrong, or that you were a ‘loser.’ This early patterning gets imprinted in the still developing neural pathways of a child.

If you grew up receiving a lot of negative attention, as an adult your way of ‘winning’ in life, and your way of feeling accepted and loved, is to seek negative attention… and turn yourself into a loser and victim.

Someone who has been raised in this manner, tend to insert themselves into the lives of people they think matter to them. They target people who seem important to them and whose opinions matter. They will then consistently create situations where they can be the loser. They will always be the one that is ‘slow,’ the one that ‘can’t be helped,’ or the one with poor social skills.

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The Dreary Room Of Unbearable, Silent Suffering

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSome people spend their life as if they are trapped in a cheap motel room with drawn, yellowed shades and a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door. Is this possibly your life too?

To ponder such an important question, to be sure, brings an illuminating insight not necessarily appreciated until consciously recognized – but not while holding a ‘passing fancy’ flippant attitude of nonchalant concern. Long-awaited release often only arrives after the slit, which has formed from those unbalanced motel drapes, offers a hint of brightness to the dreary room of denial and pretense.

Too many days of too many lives are dissipated in unexpressed anger, masked as benevolent concern. Until you come to grips with the gnawing unsettling disturbance, in your chest, you will, in no way, be able to embrace the fullness of unfulfilled potential in your life.

Raw adventure, insatiable variety, fun-loving spontaneity, and serendipitous enjoyment: words which now maybe symbolize an alien state of mind for you, are but a numbing reminder of how easily things which were so much a part of your life have slipped into another phase, which does no longer interests you in the least. In other words, could it be that you have become an unbearable bore to yourself and others?

You know how to create unending comedy in all of our endeavors, but may have forsaken the practice for a duller, somber, ‘more responsible,’ serious nature… which you feel is more appropriate and acceptable. You need to be more committed, you say, and much more dependable, in order to be happy. But, pray tell me, what has happened to your contented spirit? Where is your vivaciousness and vitality? By working so hard to achieve a specific way of producing certain results, you have deposited yourself in a sealed bank vault where there seems to be no possible method of withdrawal.

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