self-pity
Time To Start Living Your Best Life!
This past three years have been difficult on many levels for all of us, whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally. It has been a difficult time for even the most happy-go-lucky people among us.
Most of my clients have lost someone or something of significance in their lives, whether it be their personal freedom, their peace of mind, their health, their job or business, or a loved one. Some have tragically even lost everything, or in some cases everyone.
Thankfully, many of these people have been picking up the pieces and moving forward with their lives. Some are however still struggling. The one thing I have noticed with those who continue to suffer is that they seem to have given up on life. They appear to have lost their desire to live, or simply to get out of bed each day. But no matter what our circumstances may be, this is the one thing we must never allow ourselves to do as spiritual beings in human form.
If you find yourself still struggling, understand that you have a great strength inside of you that will always carry you to new heights if you just allow it. Understand that this challenging period in our history was meant to teach us what truly matters and what is most important in life. It was also meant to help us release the things that no longer serve us.
It is time to shift your energy. Time to take a good hard look at where you are at, where you have been, and where you ultimately want to be. Each day, declare, “Today is the first day of the rest of my amazing life. I am powerful, smart, and strong. I can do, be or have whatever I set my mind to.”
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
Who’s To Say If It’s Good, Or Bad?
Who’s to say if it’s good, or bad? There is a wise Buddhist children’s story I often read to my son that answers this question.
A young boy tells his father in a panicked, desperate tone, that his horse has gone missing. He is obviously very distraught and terrified he will never see his horse again.
The father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
The son, of course, is confused. How could the loss of his horse not be a bad thing?
They go out into the woods to search for the horse. After many long days, they eventually find the horse. It has since made friends with a wild horse.
The father turns to the son and says, “See? Now you have two horses!”
But on the way back home the son stumbles and injures his leg. Again, he is miserable and terribly distraught. He tells his dad this is the worst possible thing that could happen. Now he will not be able to ride his horse.
His father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
Of course, the son is perplexed and cannot figure out how injuring his leg could possibly be a good thing?
A week later, some of the son’s friends come to visit him. They tell him that they have been commanded to head out to war, along with all men over the age of 18. They tell the son he is lucky to have broken his leg, because now he would not be required to go to war with them.
Over the years, I have known many people, especially energy healing clients and Yoga students, who had suffered serious illness or injury…who later said it actually saved their lives, or brought them significant personal and spiritual growth, joy, fulfilment, and even bliss.
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading