fulfillment
Harmony In Your Relationship
How does one achieve true harmony in a relationship? This is probably the most elusive aspect in most relationships these days. Sadly, a happy and healthy relationship cannot be achieved without it also being a harmonious relationship!
To achieve harmony in any relationship, we need to address the following two aspects with honesty and courage.
Firstly, what do you require from the relationship? Are your needs being met, or is the relationship all about them? Too often people settle for a bad relationship instead seeking to fulfill their own wants and needs.
Remember, you matter. You must also be your priority, not just your partner. Your wants and needs are a priority. If you put your needs aside and put everyone before yourself, you will never find harmony or joy in your relationships.
Make a list of your top ten wants or needs. Then make a list of your top five deal-breakers. What will you not tolerate or settle for? Once you have clarity on what you need and expect, you can more easily figure out what to do about it.
A healthy relationship goes both ways, with comprise. Do your best to see that you stay true to your wants and needs. Too many people settle, because they either think they cannot find someone better, or they are scared to move forward on their own. But we must be brave to achieve what we desire in life.
Tell yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you are going to find it. You deserve it! You are worth it! If you put all of that out to the Universe and believe it, it will happen for you when the time is right. Belief is key. If you believe it, you will achieve it.
The Extraordinary Treasure Of The Ordinary
It is unfortunate that so often tend to take the ordinary for granted. Ordinary things that we do not consider unusual or special is seldom something we excited about. But the very things that one person might consider ordinary, is a magical treasure to another.
When I was about six years old, I remember being at the ocean looking at some beach roses, when a butterfly landed on one of the roses right in front of me. Even at that age, I intuitively knew this was somehow a special and significant sign. My dearly departed grandmother used to love beach roses and butterflies. I did not know it at the time, but right then and there these two things became my future mediumship symbols for someone’s grandmother in spirit.
I thought it was the most beautiful butterfly I had seen in my young life! I was excited to have my sister see and experience the beauty of it, so I called her over. To my surprise she shrugged and said, “No big deal. I see butterflies like that all the time.”
Her cynical reaction took some of the joy out of the experience for me at the time. At that young age, my older sister’s opinion on things mattered a great deal to me. But I have grown wiser over the years.
Later in life, I could not help but wonder why my sister did not see the world as I did in those days? The answer that eventually came to me was that it is all in the timing. It is about what is going on in our life at a given moment in time. One day we may look at things a certain way and not really see them as beautiful or anything special, while on another day we might be thrilled and amazed by the exact same things.
For example, we frequently travel the coastal road in my area. One day last summer, at the height of the pandemic, we were slowly driving along this road. with no rush to be anywhere at a designated time. Normally we would be in a hurry to get somewhere, but due to Covid-19 there was nowhere urgent where we needed to be.
Making The Most Of This Life, In This World!
I remember watching with fascination Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow. In this film she finds herself in two parallel worlds with two very different realities that result from her choices and decisions.
Seeing this film prompted me to explore the fascinating subject of parallel worlds. According to physics, the existence of parallel worlds or a multiverse is a genuine possibility.
A parallel world is believed to be another world that exists alongside this one, yet it is undetectable to and independent of this world. It has also been suggested that another version of you could exist in one of these alternate realities, while there may other parallel worlds where you do not exist at all.
Could it be that each choice or decision we make in this world creates a very different reality in another world? For example, in another world, instead of going to your high school prom back in 1980, where you fell in love with Frank and later married him; you didn’t go to the prom that night, Frank never existed, and you ended up never getting married.
There are various schools of thought that this Universe is not singular – but one of many. One theory is that the Universe in which we live is infinite. However, matter can only rearrange itself up to a finite point and then it has to start repeating itself, thus creating Universe after Universe.
Another viewpoint is that there are multiple universes that all contain a planet Earth and more doppelgänger replicas of you! Furthermore, in these other worlds, you have to make different decisions – just like Gwyneth Paltrow has to decide in Sliding Doors if she is going to get on the train, or not, leading to different outcomes in each parallel life.
Some physicists theorize that the Big Bang, which may have given rise to the birth of the Universe, was not a one-off event. It may have prompted other Big Bangs giving birth to other Universes.
Journeys And Destinations
One often hears the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination.’ But what does it truly mean? I believe the events of the past year has brought many of us to a deeper understanding.
The importance of the ‘journey’ became more evident with so many cultural holidays, birthday parties and family gatherings that had to be cancelled during the worst of the pandemic. For example, the significance of planning these special events became especially obvious this past Christmas, as well as the many cancelled festivals here in Spain.
The Christmas holiday season is usually a hectic time, with much hustle and bustle, including the mandatory family conflicts or ‘differences of opinion.’ But the joy of the season leading up to Christmas and New year is typically a time of excitement, especially for children.
People normally spend lots of time planning these celebrations and the excitement leading up to any gathering is often more fun than the event itself! Not having these occasions to look forward to has created a void in the lives of many people all over the world.
Instead, Christmas 2020 was a difficult time for many. It certainly brought up a myriad of personal challenges and negative emotions, particularly for those unable to visit loved ones, or not being able to have relatives home for the holidays.
Here in Spain, the locals are constantly planning their many fiestas. Each town and province has its own special festivals and cultural traditions, especially in the summer months. I have even witnessed the locals take to the streets in very cold weather, just to enjoy the vibe and camaraderie!
The Spaniards have a deep sense of community and they love letting their hair down whenever they can. Having grown used to the culture here, it made the silence of the empty streets this past year even more jarring than it might have been somewhere else.
New Hope And Appreciation For The Future
We have all been suffering some form of hardship during the Covid-19 pandemic, including restrictions on our lifestyle, financial losses, unemployment, bankruptcy, physical and mental illness, as well as the tragic death of loved ones. Yet, despite all the adversity and chaos, our planet has continued to turn on her axis.
In the Northern Hemisphere, we are finally starting to enjoy milder weather as the days once again get longer. The sunshine and gradual warmth feels so remarkably good after such a isolating, traumatic winter. It is a time of renewal and rebirth. Life continues to spring eternal and there is a feeling of new hope and anticipation in the air.
Although we are not completely out of the woods yet, we can be thankful that our scientific experts and medical heroes are in the process of gradually resolving the many challenges we still face. There is finally a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
The extended isolation of the past year has afforded many people the time to reflect on what is truly important in life and to make the necessary adjustments to live a more balanced life of joy and fulfillment.
For many of us the importance of family and friendship has emerged front and center. For others, the privilege of gainful employment or a healthy mind and body has become their focus.
Regardless, the impact over the past year has been so great that most of us are less likely to take anything in life for granted the way we might have in the past.
These days, even the most mundane tasks and events have taken on a much greater significance. The flexibility of simply going out for no particular reason, or attending school in person, or going to a shopping mall, feels exciting and different. Just having the option of eating in a restaurant or getting a decent haircut is now a luxury that is greatly appreciated.
Celebrate The Seasons Of Your Life
Ecclesiastes wrote, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” When things feel out of balance in one or more aspects of your life, be it in your relationship, career, finances, health, or spirituality, it may be time to look at the season you are currently experiencing.
The question you need to ask is: what do you need for this season of your life? For this you need to quiet your mind and listen to your inner guidance to get the answers.
We are often so busy with our schedules and responsibilities and that we have little time to look at what season of life we are in. Are we stuck in a season? Are we making progress or not? Is it time to maybe move to a new season in our life?
No matter where we find ourselves, there are usually adjustments to be made. Rather than staying on autopilot, we must take stock and identify the season and the areas in our life that need attention. What needs doing, or not doing? Is it maybe time for an important life transition? Is it a time to plant seeds, nurture what has been planted, branch out in different directions, reap the harvest, or time to rest before the next cycle begins?
Various cultures and spiritual traditions all used to observe certain rituals that mark the seasons of life and the rites of passage. These days we might eengage in some of these practices, but for the most part we are simply pulled along by the next thing expected of us.
We may think to not worry about any of it now, because there will be time for it later, but often it just falls into the cracks. It’s up to us to find where we are in our current season and think about the next rite of passage we need to observe or celebrate.
When we move into a new season of life in a particular area, we must celebrate where we have been, before moving on. We must put in place a small ritual to mark this on our path. It can be simple as a prayer of thanks or act of gratitude. Write an entry into our journal or find a piece of art and keeping it nearby to encourage you.
How To Practice The Art Of Gratitude
My life has not been without its challenges. Nevertheless, I love my job, have a beautiful son, an adorable husband and supportive friends and family. Therefore, irrespective of current world events, I genuinely have a lot to be grateful for!
Gratitude is beneficial for all of us, including physically, emotionally and spiritually. For one, appreciating the good things in our lives helps us to be more tolerant and forgiving, with a higher sense of life satisfaction. Grateful people also tend to have more hope and inner peace and feel less anxious and alone.
God, Spirit, the Universe loves gratitude! Those who are sincerely grateful are blessed with even more to be grateful for. Like attracts like.
How does one ensure that you practice the art of gratitude ever day? The following guidelines should help:
Seek Out The Positive
In my own personal research into positive psychology, I became aware of something referred to as negativity bias. In case you have not heard of this, it means that our negative thoughts tend to be more dominant than the positive ones.
An excellent way of counteracting this negative way of thinking is to seek out at least three things in your life every day that you are well and truly grateful for. Try to make this a daily habit. By doing so, it should have you smiling in next to no time!
I remember when I was about 26 years old and in a particularly challenging place in my life. I was advised by a psychic, whom I reached out to with my troubles, to watch the film or read the book, The Color Purple by Alice Walker. It is some of the best advice I have every received. Once I had read the last chapter, I felt so grateful for whatever I had in my life.