clairempathy
The Empowered Empath
People are naturally drawn to empaths. They tend to open up and pour their souls out to the empath, instinctively knowing that their secrets are safe and that there will be no judgment or condemnation. This is great, unless you are the empath who is constantly feeling burned out and exhausted from the burden of keeping everyone around you happy, with no one to talk to yourself.
I’ve been doing readings on PsychicAccess.com for more than a decade now, and in that time I’ve had the privilege of reading for many people who are born empaths but were unaware of their innate gifts and abilities. They have since grown exponentially in their awareness and have learned to trust what is at the core of their being.
Not only have they become aware of what makes them so different, they realize that they are not ‘crazy’ or ‘too sensitive’ or ‘imagining it.’ They have been told such things all their lives, but now they can trust their very keen intuition and know that they are usually right on the money.
The moment empaths embrace their true, gifted nature, the gut-wrenching anxiety, tension headaches, and other health problems begin to subside. Their confidence soars. It is wonderful to observe this newfound self-empowerment.
But the openness and courage required to do this kind of soul searching is not easy. It takes determination, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Not to mention the difficulty of cultivating the patience required to learn where and when to say what you feel and know. Sensing the outcome of events or relationships, or more importantly, knowing that something is going on with someone before they know it, can be very challenging.
Empaths And Endings
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for the empath to navigate, and the ending of a relationship is definitely one of the most challenging of all.
Any relationship that falls apart is tough, but if you are an empath you may well find yourself trying to navigate some very overwhelming waters. Not only will you be feeling your own pain, anger and confusion, but you will also sense your partner’s feelings, and possibly even that of your families and mutual friends.
Trying to make sense of all these emotional energies, staying centered and sorting out your own feelings separate from your partner’s is a very tall order.
Chances are you have also been sensing that something had been radically amiss for some time, before your love finally went on the rocks. It is important to take time to look back and remember when you first sensed something was off. Empaths are often aware of their partner’s moods and feelings, and may act on it too prematurely. Pushing too soon can result in the partner shutting down, or insisting that nothing is wrong. The problem is, however, that an empath will feel that something is wrong and will not be able to shake that feeling. You knew something was wrong… and you were right!
It is critical that you shift your focus away from your partner and towards taking care of yourself. Allow your emotions to flow. An empath is always going to be more focused on the other party’s actions, reactions and feelings. You automatically link in to them instead of you. To move through this painful experience you must shift your focus and concentrate on you.
Spiritual Self-Care For Clairsentients
We all have access to the four channels of psychic energy and intuition. These include clairvoyance (clear vision), claircognizance (clear thinking), clairaudience (clear hearing) and clairsentience (clear feeling). While everyone has access to each of these channels of inner guidance, one or more of these tend to be stronger for every individual.
Clairsentience is the pathway for receiving divine guidance and spiritual information through feelings and physical sensations. You are probably clairsentient if you often saying, “I feel” or “I sense.” For example, you may say, “I feel it would be a good idea,” or “I sense a bad vibe in this place,” or “I just don’t have a good feeling about that person.”
You may also experience clairsentience as ‘tingles’ on your skin or the back of your neck when your Angels or Guides are near or sending you a message. You probably also get ‘gut feelings’ or ‘hunches’ about things and typically experience the sensations in your solar plexus area.
Some clairsentients also pick up strongly on people and animals’ feelings and emotions. This is an aspect of clairsentience known as being an empath or a sensitive.
No matter how one uniquely experiences clairsentience, it is vital to practice good spiritual self-care. Clairsentients are especially vulnerable to energy influences and can easily get sucked into drama, addiction, and co-dependency – all of which negatively affect your psychic abilities and distract you from your true path.
The Romantic Challenges Of Being An Empath
I frequently do readings for clients who are discovering their empathic abilities, as well as awakened empaths who are still working on their self-empowerment. The majority of empaths that I have worked with over the years have all been in very high-stress romantic situations that do nothing but magnify what these highly sensitive people are already experiencing. While this is no doubt confusing, frightening and intense for the empath, one must consider the fact that it also greatly impacts their partners.
An empath a highly sensitive person who is very aware of the feelings, moods and motivations of other people and are deeply affected by the energies around them. This is experienced by the empath in many ways, including as physical sensations, moods, and emotions, as well as an inner knowing of what lies beneath the surface of other people’s words and actions. An empath has the ‘psychic radar’ to hone in intuitively on the truth of a person or situation.
Relationships, especially romantic ones, can therefore be a nightmare for empaths, and their partners. While their partner may be saying one thing, the empath ‘knows’ or ‘feels’ something different, and can sense if their partner is being dishonest or deceitful. While this can be useful at times to protect the empath from pursuing relationships with the wrong kind of person, it can also be very damaging and destructive to a potentially happy, healthy relationship with loving partner.
It can be very disconcerting and intimidating for the romantic partner of an empath to feel so constantly questioned, judged and exposed. I get many calls from empaths who are deep in an argument stemming from their partner’s refusal to come clean about what is really going on, or what they are truly feeling. The more the partner protests, the more the empath pushes and prods, leading the partner to shut down, withdraw, or disconnect completely.
Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries
Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.
For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.
For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.
At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably. Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.
Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are: