trust
When Others Let Us Down
Many years ago, a skilled numerologist told me that her analysis showed that I am the kind of person who always does what she says she will do. “When you commit to getting something done, one can be very sure it will get done,” she said. Therefore, it always baffles me when people make plans with you, or promise to do something, and then they do not follow through. I tend to take it personally.
My late husband often spoke nostalgically of how, back in the day when he first went into business, a man’s handshake on an agreement or promise still meant something. Perhaps times have changed?
Clients often consult with me on similar disappointments in their lives. When they are let down by others, they contact me to seek answers as to why a someone in their life could have been so dismissive of them.
I have personally learned that some people are indeed sincere in the moment they make such promises or commitments, but then they become distracted or forget to follow through. This doesn’t worry them, as they do not have what I call the ‘hyperactive sense of responsibility’ that some of us do!
In a recent holding space healing session, I was surprised to discover that two incidents that occurred very long ago had caused an energy blockage for me. These events seem so minor compared to other instances that caused me much greater disappointment in later years. It reminded me that one should never underestimate influences during our formative years.
The first incident was when I was about fifteen years old, and I had made arrangements to meet up with one of my cousins. I took our arrangement very seriously and was gutted when she wasn´t home when I arrived at her house. I was even more devastated when I complained to my mother about it and she simply responded: “Oh well, don’t fuss over it. Maybe she was just busy.”
How To Anchor Yourself In Any Storm
Happiness, peace, calm, no drama. This is the way of life we all really strive for and long for. We even design our lives in such a way as to create the illusion of having attained this. Yet, life happens. There are stresses. There are arguments, fights, heartaches. Yes, there is pain.
We sometimes find ourselves in situations not of our own making, and circumstances that anger us. Yet, at the end of each day, if we can go to bed knowing we were honest, and we did what we believed with all our heart was right, then we have inner peace, and happiness.
Yes, we all do make mistakes. We do things out of anger, hurt, then later regret. But if we work hard to try to resolve the situation, we can be happy in ourselves.
No one can say words to us that bring us to unhappiness; no one can take actions that hurt us if we don’t let it destroy our faith within.
Becoming the rock in the middle of the storm is key. We must keep our mind clear, not let others tell us that we are no good, and avoid trying to become what others want us to be. We have to be what the spirit within tells us to be. Then we will be happy, we will be anchored in the center of the storm.
In all our lives there comes a time to make major decisions. Our first wisest choice is to ask the Creator, our Higher Power, through our prayers and meditations, what is best. The second is to get expert opinions. The third is to ask for the opinions of others, whose lives may be affected by the decisions. There is no need for egos, hastiness, or heartaches of years gone by. Simply listen carefully, through all the junk, for the good statements made.
The Romantic Challenges Of Being An Empath
I frequently do readings for clients who are discovering their empathic abilities, as well as awakened empaths who are still working on their self-empowerment. The majority of empaths that I have worked with over the years have all been in very high-stress romantic situations that do nothing but magnify what these highly sensitive people are already experiencing. While this is no doubt confusing, frightening and intense for the empath, one must consider the fact that it also greatly impacts their partners.
An empath a highly sensitive person who is very aware of the feelings, moods and motivations of other people and are deeply affected by the energies around them. This is experienced by the empath in many ways, including as physical sensations, moods, and emotions, as well as an inner knowing of what lies beneath the surface of other people’s words and actions. An empath has the ‘psychic radar’ to hone in intuitively on the truth of a person or situation.
Relationships, especially romantic ones, can therefore be a nightmare for empaths, and their partners. While their partner may be saying one thing, the empath ‘knows’ or ‘feels’ something different, and can sense if their partner is being dishonest or deceitful. While this can be useful at times to protect the empath from pursuing relationships with the wrong kind of person, it can also be very damaging and destructive to a potentially happy, healthy relationship with loving partner.
It can be very disconcerting and intimidating for the romantic partner of an empath to feel so constantly questioned, judged and exposed. I get many calls from empaths who are deep in an argument stemming from their partner’s refusal to come clean about what is really going on, or what they are truly feeling. The more the partner protests, the more the empath pushes and prods, leading the partner to shut down, withdraw, or disconnect completely.
Don’t Walk On Eggshells Anymore!
Do you often find yourself around people that make you feel like you have to monitor every single thing you say, for fear you may be hurting their feelings? Do you constantly have to be cautious and guarded around certain people in your life, because they internalize everything you say? It really is like walking on eggshells!
I used to have a friend like that. At first I complied, but then one day I decided to start talking like I would normally talk to my other friends. I wanted to see what effect it would have on this person. Well, it actually helped in the end, as it soon made her see how silly she was being. In fact, she even confessed to how she felt bad for reacting as if the entire world revolved around her and her feelings. It turned out to be a meaningful opportunity for her personal growth.
Also, have you ever known anyone whom you shared some inner most concern or anxiety with, and they act like you are making a mountain out of a molehill? You trusted them by sharing your inner most fear or heartache, and they react like it is nothing or you are just being silly. They may even turn around and act as if what you are saying is just plain wrong, or irrelevant! As a highly sensitive person I have experienced this many times in my life and it’s no fun, trust me. And if you’re like me, you just stop talking to this person all together about anything that may deeply matter to you.
These interpersonal experiences can be frustrating and hurtful, but also very valuable to learn from. As soon as this kind of interaction happens with someone, it is useful to reflect on whom you can really trust and have faith in, and who not. If you become more aware of whom you surround yourself with, more people will come into your life that will truly hear you and really have compassion and a deep understanding of what you’re trying to impart. They will also be willing and able to give great advice and be a great sounding board for you, without being egotistical or simply uncaring!