toxic feelings
Always Feel Free To Own Your True Feelings
Has anyone ever told you that you are too happy? Or has anyone ever told you that you smile too much? My guess is probably never.
So, why is it that whenever we experience negative emotions, be it grief, despair, or depression, we are often told that there is a time limit to such feelings and that we need to get over it. In today’s society, it is essentially also taboo to express feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, or simply being unhappy.
My brother died at the tender age of 12 and left such a void in our lives that my entire family grieved his loss for decades. Fortunately, we were raised to accept this as a perfectly normal and natural process for us. We all understood that we would work through our feelings of grief and loss in our own way and at our own pace. We did not grieve according to a schedule or set of societal rules.
I find that a useful way to think about feelings and how to process them is to think of our emotions as being processed by our heart and mind like food is processed by our body. Just like food, we need to break down, digest, and assimilate the lessons and insights in our emotions to serve as growth “nutrients” for the soul.
Anger Awareness For The Empowered Empath
Of all the emotional energies that empaths have to deal with, anger is one of the most powerful and potentially destructive, because empaths feel and react first, and think later.
An empath’s initial reaction to someone else’s angry feelings is usually some form of intense “fight or flight” response.
The more extroverted empath will often respond to the anger with equal force, usually involving a very intense and potentially catastrophic emotional outburst. The introverted empath will usually “flee” the scene or do everything possible to avoid the person who is emitting the anger.
After the initial reaction, the empath’s emotional state will often then shift to sadness, anxiety, or feeling drained and depressed at seemingly inappropriate times and for no apparent reason.
Because it is very common for empaths to be intensely aware of the feelings, moods, and motives of others, sometimes even before others are aware of their own feelings, a strong emotion like anger deeply affects us. And if the other person is a spouse or partner in a romantic relationship, anger can become a proverbial land mine. Ditto if it is a co-worker or employer.
The Spiritual Importance Of Releasing Resentments
I went out for lunch today and had a bad service experience with the waitress. It was as if she didn’t care much to listen to what I wanted. She seemed distracted and careless.
Two and a half months ago, I had a similar experience at another restaurant when the server packed the wrong items for me to take home. I felt ignored, even disrespected. Today’s experience brought back the same feelings and memories.
I was so upset that I decided I was not going to leave her a tip. But then, in the middle of my meal, while feeling angry and somewhat sorry for myself, I overheard a nearby customer calling her friend by the same name as my late mother.
This caused me to pause and reflect on my toxic thoughts about the careless waitress. You see, my mother was also a waitress many years ago. It was how she put food on the table and put us through school.
Perhaps today’s events were meant to remind me during the holiday season how many of us go through life with unhealed “mother wounds.”
Spirit now had my attention and proceeded to make me aware that my waitress had her own issues with her mother growing up, and that she is now a single mother herself, barely making ends meet. This realization instantly changed my perspective and my petulant attitude.
How To Thrive As An Empath
Empaths have the unique ability to deeply experience and understand the emotions of others. While this gift is a wonderful source of compassion, strength, and connection, it also comes with its share of challenges.
Living as an empath can be a double-edged sword, as the heightened sensitivity to the emotions of others can lead to emotional exhaustion, boundary issues, and a constant struggle to maintain one’s emotional well-being.
One of the biggest challenges empaths face is emotional overload. Empaths tend to absorb the emotions of those around them, whether it’s joy, excitement, sadness, anger, depression, or fear.
This emotional absorption can be so intense that it can become overwhelming to the empath, leading to feelings of confusion, restlessness, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and even physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue.
Managing this constant influx of emotional energy can be mentally and physically exhausting, sometimes leaving empaths completely drained and in dire need of some solitude and self-care.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
The Empowering Wisdom Of Forgiveness
Although I consider myself a very spiritual person, forgiveness has not always been one of my strengths. In fact, I used to struggle with forgiving those who had hurt or wronged me.
Fortunately, as I matured in my spiritual evolution, I eventually realized that by not letting go of negative events and experiences in my past, I was only being haunted and held captive by them, which was not serving my highest good.
For several years, I was stuck in a downward cycle of replaying certain past events in my mind, reliving every excruciating detail and allowing the past to negatively influence the present and my future. Over time, it became clear that this issue was holding me back in more ways than I could have imagined.
To find some answers, I decided to shift the focus of my spiritual practice for a few months to consult my guides on this issue. During this time, spirit guided me as follows.
Letting Go
To truly forgive, we must let go of the past. There is no true forgiveness if we still somehow hold on to the smallest regret or resentment. Forgiveness is all, or nothing. There are no half measures or gray areas.
Forgiveness is more than just an emotional healing process, it is also an empowering metaphysical practice. If we do not release something completely, we continue to hold some level of negative energy that continues to affect our current vibration, which diminishes our quality of life and negatively affects our future happiness.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.