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Take Some Time Out To Embrace The Silence
I see now, more than ever before, parents busying their children with this and that sport, and this and that activity. I sometimes wonder if they ever have time to just be children.
I see how fast time flies these days and I think we actually make it go by even faster by overloading our lives with so much activity. We over commit ourselves way too much. I have been carefully watching my world lately, and I have seen the busy lifestyles of my friends and family. I see how frantic everyone has become. Such a commotion!
I find it disturbing how we over-busy ourselves and our children, and our lives. We really miss out on what I deem as the ‘finer things’. We need to get that connection back. It’s never too late.
We need to take it down a notch. I understand there are things we have to do – go to work, pay the bills, chores to do, people to see. Sure, I get it! But there are those additional things that we sign on to do when we really shouldn’t, or don’t have the time for, and when we do it has a domino effect. Chaos. Anxiety. Stress.
We need time to unwind more, and not just when we give ourselves six or less hours of sleep. We carve time out for our kids and for our friends and family, and often there is really no time left for a few blissful moments of silence. It’s in the silence that we can know ourselves and truly learn to live with a glass half full mentality.
We are filling our days with so much unnecessary activity these days just to keep up with the Joneses. What is wrong with staying home once in a while? I think staying at home is underrated. I don’t know about you, but home is where my yoga mat has its place and I don’t have to pay a gym membership to be active in my own home. It’s also where my library is, and my family, and most of the things I love and enjoy.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Stop Blocking Yourself!
Have you ever felt like your life is just going nowhere, or you can’t connect emotionally to another person? At these times there is always one thing after another, and events in your life simply don’t seem to ‘gel’, or go right. Maybe you can’t get the job you want, or you are lonely.
There are so many barriers we have to deal with, but there is a way to overcome all of this. The best way to do it is by truly knowing yourself – through self-discovery – and by letting go of people and material things that hold you back.
So many times we invest so much wasted energy in people-pleasing. Instead of constantly trying to please others, we could use this time to live a happier life, with greater more spiritual awareness, which will in turn make us much more useful in our service to others. Instead we spend so much time thinking about things we may have done wrong, the wrong others have done to us and regretting what we could have done differently
When we try and reason about our mistakes it just leads to anguish, because we have a lack of faith – faith in God and in ourselves. But, if we go before the thrown of God and get on bended knees, we will find that inner peace, grace and forgiveness that so many people venture off to far of places, looking to find. That inner peace and joy is always there and available, we just have to look up!
Also, we are concerning ourselves too much with the things of the world, putting too much value on financial success and material possessions. These can become obstacles that keep us from connecting with those we love, or want to love. It is pure self-sabotage.
The Life Calling Of The Death Doula
The first time I heard of a doula, I had no idea what it meant. I soon discovered that it is a person trained to provide guidance, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
But little did I know at the time that a doula can also be someone who is of service to dying. So, a doula may assist us coming into the physical world, as well as leave the physical world. What a wonderful profession to be called to assist in the miracles of birth and death.
As a psychic medium, talking to loved ones who have crossed over, I have come to understand that some people definitely prefer to be alone at the time of death. My own dad was such a person. He made it clear to us this was his dying wish.
Several people kept vigil at his bedside for three weeks, but the moment we all were away to change clothes or eat, was his opportunity to ‘check out.’ As in life so be it in death, my dad was a very private person.
His hospice room was right across from the elevator. When my mother and I stepped off the elevator, I heard my dad take his last breath and I sensed and felt his spirit exit the building. But I also know he was not ‘alone,’ because his loved ones, guides and angels came to greet him.
So, how does an end-of-life doula help with this process? A doula is there to help the family as much as the person passing. It is my belief that it is a deep honor to be present at a birth or a death. I have had the privilege to be present at all three of my granddaughter’s births. I have also been present at several deaths.
Both are times when emotions are running very high. At a birth everyone is anxious until they hear baby’s first cry. They are on edge waiting to hear baby and mother are both fine. A doula can help explain what is going on and answer questions about the birth process.
Journeys And Destinations
One often hears the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination.’ But what does it truly mean? I believe the events of the past year has brought many of us to a deeper understanding.
The importance of the ‘journey’ became more evident with so many cultural holidays, birthday parties and family gatherings that had to be cancelled during the worst of the pandemic. For example, the significance of planning these special events became especially obvious this past Christmas, as well as the many cancelled festivals here in Spain.
The Christmas holiday season is usually a hectic time, with much hustle and bustle, including the mandatory family conflicts or ‘differences of opinion.’ But the joy of the season leading up to Christmas and New year is typically a time of excitement, especially for children.
People normally spend lots of time planning these celebrations and the excitement leading up to any gathering is often more fun than the event itself! Not having these occasions to look forward to has created a void in the lives of many people all over the world.
Instead, Christmas 2020 was a difficult time for many. It certainly brought up a myriad of personal challenges and negative emotions, particularly for those unable to visit loved ones, or not being able to have relatives home for the holidays.
Here in Spain, the locals are constantly planning their many fiestas. Each town and province has its own special festivals and cultural traditions, especially in the summer months. I have even witnessed the locals take to the streets in very cold weather, just to enjoy the vibe and camaraderie!
The Spaniards have a deep sense of community and they love letting their hair down whenever they can. Having grown used to the culture here, it made the silence of the empty streets this past year even more jarring than it might have been somewhere else.
I Am Proud To Call Myself Psychic
I have been naturally psychic all my life, and have been working as a professional psychic for over 20 years. After all these years I am still curious about people’s responses when they ask me what I do for a living.
People’s responses to me being a psychic can sometimes be so predictable that you don’t even need to be psychic to know what they are going to say. No, I am going to tell you what your name, star sign or favorite color is, just because you thought it funny to ask. My typical response to these kinds of questions is inevitably, “Why, did you forget what it was?”
Now, I could tell them I am a Licensed Reverend or a Certified Life Coach. I could also tell them that I am a Certified Massage Therapist for over 8 years. I could even say that I am a Certified Reiki Master, or better yet, that I was a casino dealer for twelve years, before I ‘jumped off the cliff’ into the rest of my life. But my favorite thing to say is simply that, “I am a psychic.”
People have different ideas about what this really means. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the term ‘psychic’ as being of, or relating to, the psyche. It is also described as lying outside the sphere of physical science or knowledge. The word is further also defined as someone who is sensitive to non-physical or supernatural forces and influences; or as a person who is marked by extraordinary or mysterious sensitivity, perception, or understanding.
As all psychics are well aware, we can be looked upon askance in the best of times, and with horror during the worst of times. It’s rarely an easy gig! But, oh, so rewarding.