self-care
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
The Spiritual Practice Of Flower Power
Every now and again, I purchase a bouquet of flowers as a gift to myself. Placing a vase of flowers on your home altar or sacred space adds nature-inspired ambiance, brightness, and sensuality to one’s spiritual self-care.
I also love to diffuse the essential oils of flowers, especially when I meditate, but they don’t have the tangibility and energetic beauty of a stunning array of fresh blooms. Analogous to eating whole food versus taking a supplement, fresh flowers represent the wholeness, divine design, and awe-inspiring beauty of Gaia, Mother Nature, our Earth Mother, the Divine Feminine.
Unadulterated, the ‘flower power’ of a beautiful bouquet commands marvelous healing energies, blesses the giver, and inspires bountiful gratitude in the recipient.
The most powerful spiritual practice involving flowers is to plant your own flower garden with perennial varieties, such as tulips, black-eyed susans, and chrysanthemums. With careful planning around the seasonal calendar one can also have different species in bloom at different times throughout the entire year.
Cultivating a thriving garden of flowers is a magnificent form of energy work. It attracts and manifests emotional healing, abundance, and the fulfillment of wishes, especially in aspects of romance, marriage, fertility, and parenthood. By lovingly nurturing and caring for the delicate beauty of living flowers, we invite much love, beauty and abundance into our lives.
The Simple Miracle Cure For Stress
While I was meditating the other day, the voice of an ancestor came to me. It was the spirit of a relative I had personally known when she was in this life. She said, “Why don’t you just rest a little bit honey? Everything is always easier and better after you take a day or two to just rest and recover.”
I cannot say I was surprised by this unusual visitation message. I had indeed been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I tend to forget that what I really need to do sometimes is to simply stop. Just stop doing whatever it is I feel I have to do. I often do tend to take on more than I am actually required to, and then make matters worse by stressing about it. It’s a free will kind of deal.
My ancestor was right. A timeout would empower me to cope much better and see things in a different perspective. The truth is most of the recent stress in my life is caused by my thinking. It is mostly in my mind and not based in reality.
So, I decided to follow her advice and take a few days off. I turned off my negative thought process, stopped working for a few days, and found constructive ways to clear my mind and relax. I took out a library book to read for entertainment and enjoyment; played with my cats; cooked some delicious comfort food; meditated in the garden, slept late, and allowed myself to just simply enjoy some proper ‘me time.’
Well, it certainly worked like a charm! After just a few days, I felt invigorated, recharged, empowered, and in a much better state of mind. I now realize I had been depleted of energy and especially not getting enough sleep.
When A Prediction Timeline Slows, Or Stalls
Spiritually aware people are always on the outlook for omens, signs, and synchronicities. We know from experience that these everyday sightings and experiences are reassuring nudges from spirit. It serves as indicators that we’re on the right path, as well as forewarnings when we are not.
Spiritually wise people take it one step further by supplementing their intuition and inner guidance with predictions and forecasts obtained through various forms of divination, psychic reading, mediumship, and channeling.
But psychic predictions do not always unfold exactly as we expect. The outcome of any prediction is always subject to modification. This is especially true in the forecasting of time. In any reading, time is usually the most tentative and fluid. This may happen for various reasons, but there are two important influences that most often determine timing.
The first important reason things do not always happen when we want them to, is known as divine timing. In this case, the outcome or manifestation occurs at a moment in time that will best serve our highest good. Things always happen for a reason, because God, Source, Spirit, the Divine ensures that it unfolds in our best interest. It is therefore vital that we practice patience and forbearance when it comes to the timing of outcomes. We might think we know what is best for us, but the Universe always knows better.
Just A Few Moments Can Transform Your Life
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years of working with thousands of people all over the world, then it is the vital role of spiritual and personal self-care for our highest good. No amount of material wealth, financial success, physical beauty, romantic love, or spiritual knowledge can ever compensate for a lack of self-love and proper self-care.
However, for many of my clients it is not always practical to spend hours in meditation, arrange glorious spa days, or attend weekend spiritual retreats on a regular basis. However, there are lots of little things that can increase our spiritual awareness, balance our energy flow, reduce some stress, brighten our days, and generally give us a feeling of well-being.
We must do whatever we can to afford ourselves a quiet moment or two every day. Spirit often shows me the break-neck speed with which so many of my clients race through their lives, believing that there will be more time and opportunity later, once the current milepost or goal has been reached.
Many people obsess over ‘yesterday,’ or pin all their hopes on ‘someday.’ They are either regretting the past, or waiting for their fortune to take a turn for the better in the future. However, spirit advises that we spend more time focused in the present and maintain critical balance in our lives right now, not later.
We must do our level best to work small, uplifting things into our lives, a little at a time. There is no need to make monumental changes to get started. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes to practice mindful breathing to relax and de-stress, or listen to a short guided meditation every morning. Set aside time to laugh with a friend, do a oracle reading for yourself, dance in the living room, take a walk around the block, or listen to an inspirational podcast before your fall asleep.
The Empowering Symbolism Of The World Card
The World card in the Tarot remains one of my firm favorites. I am all for personal and spiritual growth, the completion of cycles, and new beginnings. The World represents exactly that: the ending of a cycle and pause in life, before the next major cycle begins with the fool.
The journey from the new beginnings of The Fool to the fulfilling endings of The World is a constant evolutionary process in our everyday lives that is represented by the sequence of the 22 Major Arcana cards of the Tarot. The World is the 22nd trump and therefore final card of the Major Arcana.
I have reflected on the imagery of the Rider-Waite version of this Tarot card in great detail. Rider-Waite is probably the most popular and universally recognized Tarot deck. The illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith at first glance appear simple, but the details and backgrounds feature abundant mystical symbolism.
The World pictures an empowered figure within a wreath – traditionally a symbol of victory, success, achievement, and eternal life. The figure holds a wand in each hand, which is reminiscent of the Magician card and the Two of Wands. However, while The Magician holds only one wand, the two wands in the The World card represents fulfillment, wholeness, balance and coming full circle.
The card is framed by four animals on the diagonal. The depiction of these four creatures parallels the four animal symbols used in Christian art to represent the four Evangelists, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The four animals also represent the zodiac signs of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, the four fixed signs in Western Astrology, which in turn represent the classical four elements of Earth, Fire, Water and Air.