self-care
Change your Habits, Change Your Life!
As 2022 comes to an end and the New Year is upon is, many of us are considering how we can improve our lives and become a better version of ourselves.
Today we might be sitting with our shiny new diary or journal, or a beautiful 2022 calendar full of inspiring affirmations, in the hope it will inspire us to lead healthier, happier, more fulfilling and successful life. But the single biggest thing that we can do to change our lives for the better and really smash our goals is to change our habits.
What we habitually do is who we will ultimately become. Our daily physical habits are our metaphysical destiny. In fact, research would suggest that approximately 95% of the things people do daily are purely habitual.
From the spiritual perspective, I always look to archetype of The Archer in the Wildwood Tarot deck as the positive symbology to help me break bad habits and create new, better ones. The Archer is a genuinely motivating card that symbolizes strength, direction, aim and focus. When it comes to habits, it reminds us to focus on the positive ones and that by doing so, we will achieve our goals by hitting our target. Gaze upon his symbology, and it should help give you the strength to do so.
For example, I am a chocoholic, the results of which is clearly evident around my middle-aged waistline! How do I personally break the habit of a lifetime and develop a healthier relationship with chocolate? Well, the guidelines are the same for any other goal we may have:
Remove The Temptation
As the saying goes: ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ My household will therefore be seeing far less sugar in the kitchen cupboards in 2022. This may seem somewhat an extreme measure, but it may help to change my family’s nutritional habits for the better. It is not so easy to maintain a sweet tooth when there is nothing to reaching out for to serve as a reward or an emotional crutch.
Remember To Reach Out This Holiday Season
The holidays have been different these past two years. We are normally accustomed to planning big get-togethers, buying many gifts, preparing lots of food and finally gathering with family and friends. In the past, these gatherings were a given, whenever feasible, and both small and large get-togethers were marked with fun, laughter, music, food and festivities.
But a global pandemic has been curtailing our carefully laid plans and we had to be to be innovative to stay connected with our loved ones. Some people live in areas with very little impact. Others are in hot spots. Regardless of your own current situation, it is important to include people safely, to whatever level you can under the circumstances.
Please remember to touch a few lonely hearts this time of year, even if it is just by way of a quick phone call or text message. If there are people you know who live alone or are unable to join their usual groups to celebrate, do whatever you can to reach out to them and make them feel included in the celebrations. Connect virtually, send a parcel or invite them to a future event to look forward to.
Extend your reach to those less fortunate as well. This time of year can be particularly difficult for those in need. Contribute to a charity, or reach out to a volunteer group and offer your services. A willing pair of helping hands is always appreciated.
Amid all the chaos and excitement of the season, also take some time to be good to yourself. We tend to run ourselves ragged, while it just isn’t possible to keep going at maximum speed without a well-deserved break. It is important to remember that we cannot give what we ourselves do not have. Your career or business will always be there. Recharge your batteries so you will be rested, confident, and energized to help others.
The Spiritual Tidings Of The Ladybug
If you enjoy gardening or spend a lot of time outdoors, you are probably well-acquainted with ladybugs. These brave little members of the beetle insect family come in thousands of varieties and colors and are found all over the world.
In medieval Europe, these little beetles were associated with the Virgin Mary, because they helped protect farmers’ crops from pests. The ladybug eats aphids and other garden pests, while keeping flowers and plants healthy.
In other cultures, including Scandinavia, Japan, and India, ladybugs are associated with divine feminine energy, as well as forgiving ourselves and others, spiritual grace, and empathy. The cycle of death and rebirth, along with the ability to heal, are also symbolic trademarks of the humble ladybug.
But they are not just useful as nature’s pest controllers. They are also spiritual messengers.
It is said good fortune isn’t far away when a ladybug lands on you, and for good reason: their hard outer shells and bright colors make them among the toughest survivors in the insect world. And they do not only bring tidings of good luck, they are also good omens of protection and healing.
Next time you encounter a ladybug, count the number of spots you see on its shell. If there are a total of seven spots, or another prime number, it is considered especially lucky. Likewise, note the color. Ladybugs are often depicted as red with black spots, but they also come in various shades of yellow (joy, optimism, the sun) and orange (health, prosperity). Just like our fingerprints, no two ladybugs are the same.
Unlike some other insects, the ladybug can live comparatively long, up to two to three years, and they also hibernate like mammals. For this reason, ladybugs often show up in our lives when it is time for us to engage in greater self-care, or recover our physical and spiritual strength when life becomes overwhelming. When they fly on a warm summer breeze, imagine them taking some of your cares away.
The World Needs Highly Sensitive People
You’re being way too sensitive. Get over yourself. Don’t take everything so personally. Why are you being such a cry baby?
If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) you have probably had others say such things to you at some point. But there is nothing wrong with you. According to renowned HSP researcher Dr. Elaine Aron, your sensitivity trait is perfectly normal. In fact, it is found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is way too many people for it to be a ‘disorder.’ However, it is still rare or exceptional enough to be misunderstood by most people around you, if they are part of the remaining 80 percent ‘non-sensitive’ population.
The highly sensitive person has increased sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. It is also referred to by some experts as having sensory processing sensitivity. HSPs are more reactive, for example, to negativity, unpleasant emotion, or violence.
Because much of western culture is dominated by extroverted types, the more reflective, introspective HSP sometimes feel lost in the shuffle. They are the ones who need extra time to process things, who may sit by ourselves, or in like-minded pairs, at a large gathering.
HSPs seek to form deeper bonds and keep the peace instead of fighting. A noisy, chaotic, and rude world is often very overwhelming for them. It can be especially difficult for HSP men in a misogynist society, since many of the HSP traits are not celebrated as traditionally ‘masculine.’
The truth is that the world needs HSPs and their unique gifts. The HSP’s abilities to console, nurture, heal, and build relationships are invaluable for humanity. We all want a world where universal qualities like justice, empathy, and honesty are celebrated and practiced.
At work, they are the types who notice everything and attend to the smallest details, though they may often be overlooked for promotion. In family life, they are the ones who settle disagreements and find common ground. In the political world, they are diplomats and peace-keepers.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading
Recycle Your Blessings This Winter Season
As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, let us be inspired by the seasonal change. Look around and observe nature as it prepares itself for a period of dormancy that leads to renewal and rebirth in the spring.
Change is the catalyst for growth in our lives. Some choose to think of winter as an unpleasant, ‘lifeless’ time, but in truth it is a golden opportunity to connect with the deeper realms of our mind and soul.
Embrace the profound stillness that this season offers and use the longer nights as opportunity for conscious self-reflection. Sit with this stillness and claim your majestic place on the sacred throne that was created solely for you.
Take back your personal power from the turbulence of the outer world and allow the chatter to grow quiet. Trust that in the midst of your most pressing thoughts and that which nags your soul, there is the Divine right path to oneness, healing, balance, peace, reconciliation, spiritual recognition, and soul empowerment.
Along with the obvious holiday cheer, this is one of the many gifts of the winter season; connecting to the eternal flame of the universe that shines on each of us.
As I ponder the personal changes I wish to embark on, I am reminded that nothing new can happen without letting go of the old. Many years ago, a dear friend implemented an annual winter ritual of clearing her closet of personal items she no longer desired. This is always performed just before the New Year.
I recall asking whether she was maybe acting too hastily in letting go of some of her prized possessions, as some of the discarded items were relatively new. She responded that she was creating space for new gifts to enter her life, while passing the old on to others who might be blessed by receiving it. My friend essentially spoke of recycling her blessings, a concept that was new to me at the time. And in doing so, she created a special karma for herself that opened the path for new delights to enter her life.