relationship
Online Dating Is Seldom The Problem
How does one find that everlasting love so many of us seek? This is the big question. In today’s era of social media and online dating, romance is so very different from the old days, when one would more often meet someone through friends and relatives, or at work. I am not saying that oes not happen anymore, but chances are slim in a new era where more of us are working from home and studies reveal that more than half of adults are experiencing loneliness.
I believe nowadays most people are actually scared to enter the dating scene. Not only does it take one out of your comfort zone, but we have all heard horror stories of people who tried online dating and now feel they will never want to date again. Some people are also adamant that online dating simply does not work.
The truth is quite the opposite however, when one looks at research statistics. For example, in a 2019 study found that meeting online has become the most popular way for couples to connect in the United States.
A 2021 study estimated that about 323 million people worldwide were using dating apps and matchmaking sites to meet new people. A recent survey found that about one in every three people who use these platforms found someone to have a long-term relationship with, and at least 13% of online daters eventually get engaged or married because of using these platforms.
In my experience the dating apps and websites are not the reason why some people fail to meet the right person or have bad experiences with online dating. I have seen time and again in readings I do for clients all over the world that the key elements for dating success are self-love, self-worth, mental health and spiritual awareness.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
Love Is The Energy That Connects Souls
There is one great metaphysical force or energy that connects us all. This greatest force is love. Love is the only energy that can truly overcome all and heal all. It connects us to each other – even those that we cannot be with.
Have you ever experienced the phone ringing and you just knew who it was on the other end before you even picked up? Then, once you had said hello, you think to yourself, “How did I know it was her calling?” You even get goose bumps once your intuition is confirmed. It’s a neat feeling, isn’t it?
Well, it’s also like that when out of the blue we think of someone for no reason. It’s usually because that person is also thinking of us. We are all connected.
We have naturally have what it takes to make these connections happen. One of the ingredients that it takes to be ‘dialed in’ like that is balance. We need to have balance in our lives. If we are disconnected and out of alignment in our lives we are not tuned in very well to these energetic connections we have with others. This is especially true when we indulge in some form of substance abuse, like smoking, alcohol or drugs. These things can really mess with the mind, body and soul.
You need to be healthy and you need to meditate or pray on a regular basis to help you stay on the vibrational frequency that you need to be to receive intuitive impressions, thoughts and feelings from those you love.
It is very difficult to be able to hear someone or feel someone, and love them so much and want to be with them so much, and not be able to. Know that if you are feeling these things from those you love you are very much connected. Remember, sometimes we have to wait to be with that person physically, because it’s all in divine timing – not our own timing.
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
The Healing Power Of A Smile
I have noticed something very interesting lately, since we are no longer wearing masks in public. There are two types of people: those who often smile and laugh, and those who do not. You can smile at some people that seem to not be very happy and they will smile right back at you, while others will just look at you like you’re an alien.
I love to smile at people and change their energy, it uplifts them. I can tell. I can see the auric energy around those who smile, and it’s much brighter and lighter. It’s a healing, positive energy. Those that don’t smile have dark and cloudy auras. It makes me feel good to help people get into a better mood and access their higher consciousness, as it will just keep the ball rolling for a positive domino effect for the rest of their day.
But there are those people who find nothing pleasant or amusing and will not smile for anything. I understand that sometimes life just seems to hand us a bad hand of cards, or just seems depressing or no fun. But we all have the ability to smile and our sense of humor is a gift from God. If you can’t smile for yourself to change your own energy, or find yourself unable smile back at those that smile at you, maybe take a look in the mirror and that may inspire you to crack a smile. It changes energy and lives.
As a psychic, I consult many people who are in unloving relationships and marriages. They stay with partners who are unkind, abusive, or unfaithful. They carry a torch for spouses who talk them down to them and make them feel less than. For many it causes mental and physical health problems.
Dating Guidelines For Astrological Compatibility
As a professional astrologer, I’m often asked by clients if their zodiac sign is compatible with someone they are interested in, or currently dating. For this purpose, I have developed over the years through study and experience some simple, yet essential guidelines for astrological romance.
If you are in search of your soulmate, consider the following cosmic guidelines:
Never Date A Neighbor
Rarely are we compatible with the sun signs preceding or following our own sign in the zodiac, even though they flow into one another. Exceptions to this guideline are the Fire and Earth signs: Aries with Taurus, Leo with Virgo, and Sagittarius with Capricorn, but only if the fire sign partner has distinct personality traits of the divine feminine and the earth sign partner tends more towards the divine masculine.
Opposites Rarely Attract
Traditional astrology books on compatibility suggest seeking out the sun sign opposite to your own sign, but in my experience these differences can often be dealbreakers in this day and age. While we want variety and choice in a relationship, I find most people are rarely truly attracted to the signs opposite theirs.