mental health
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
The Power Of Deep Breathing
It is not generally understood how important deep, healthy, mindful breathing truly is. In fact, shallow breathing is linked to all kinds of health problems, including panic attacks, dry mouth, halitosis, cardiovascular issues, fatigue, respiratory problems, and sleep disorders. When we breathe with our chests, we use the muscles in our chests, shoulders, and necks to expand our lungs, which can result in neck pain, shoulder pain and headaches.
Most importantly, shallow breathing also hinders our immune functioning. The chronic stress and strain it places on the body, results in lower amounts of lymphocyte – a type of white blood cell that helps to defend the body from invading organisms. Shallow breathing actually lowers the amounts of proteins that signal other immune cells. The body thus becomes more likely to acute illnesses.
Deep, diaphragmatic breathing, on the other hand, can lower blood pressure, calm the mind, and improve sleep. It also lowers our heart rate, relaxes muscles, decreases stress, and increases energy levels.
Deep breathing also grounds and centers us. It has been proven to have a profound calming effect on the mind and body. When you are anxious, you take rapid short breaths. When you are content, you take deep, long, full breaths.
The way we breath also affects our mental abilities and thinking. Programming your brain when inhaling can lock thoughts into your memory and can be a powerful tool in our daily spiritual practice. Thinking or saying out loud affirmations like, ‘I am love and light; God and I, me and God are one; I am able to accomplish anything I want; I am powerful;’ will lock those thoughts into your psyche.
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
Your Thoughts Will Transform Your Life!
I have some fantastic news for you today! You can have a magical year if you choose it! The magic is within you. If you truly believe you are going to have a fantastic year ahead, you indeed will. What we think and choose to believe becomes our reality.
You don’t believe me? Well, think about this for a moment: I am sure you know a few fairly negative people whose lives are always in chaotic upheaval or consumed with toxic drama. You probably also know some amazingly optimistic, positive folks whose lives always seem blessed, happy and full of joy… even when things are not necessarily always going well for them. Their good karma inevitably comes to the rescue to bless them!
We create our destiny, and we do it with our thoughts. Let your thoughts direct your path to happiness, health, abundance, and good, positive people around you! You are more powerful than you may know, and it starts with your thoughts and how you choose to perceive things. Tuning into that higher frequency is where it is at!
If you want things to change for the better in your life you need to switch from being negative to thinking positive. The power is in your thoughts. What you choose to think is what you put out into the universe and what you will in return attract.
I have known many folks indulge in constant self-pity and blame others for where they are in life. No one else is responsible for where we are in life. We are in control of our lives and our own karma We are the ones who can make or break our own day, week, month, and year. It all starts with what we choose to focus on and what we chose to spend our time and energy on.
It’s time to take responsibility for where we are in life and to start making it happen. The time is now. Anything is possible. You just have to believe and take some action.
Into The Eyes Of Pure Evil
Have you ever known someone whose energy is so extremely dark and evil, because they are so deeply wounded that there is no way anyone can bring them joy, love or light? No matter how much kindness you show them, it is always met with the opposite?
When I pulled up to a condo complex recently, where I had been asked to clear the presence of negative energy, I had a strange sense that the troublesome ‘spirit entity’ I was supposed to deal with was in fact still very much alive. Yes, I clearly sensed it.
Normally, there are clear signs that an earthbound spirit is present and active at a location because they typically make their presence known. At times I have even found them waiting for me right outside or in the entrance, guarding and claiming their domain. But this time there was no sign of a ghost, or spirit, or anything of the sort upon my arrival.
Intrigued and puzzled, I parked my car and walked into the building. The first thing I heard was loud yelling coming from a short woman down the hallway, who then hobbled back to her condo and slammed the door. I wondered who she was yelling at and why?
Another women came down the stairs talking on her phone. I asked her of she knew why the woman was so upset and she said, “Oh, she is ‘upset’ with me. She is always yelling and causing a fuss. She likes to harass whomever she is currently targeting around here, and right now that person is me.”
I then explained to her that I was called in to pinpoint the source of the negative energy in the building and do a cleansing, and that I suspect I have already found it.
“Thank goodness,” she exhaled, “I just needed that confirmed!”