friendship
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
Everything You Need To Know About Soulmate Connections
Who is my soulmate?” It’s a question I often hear during psychic readings. Clients want to know if their current partner is “the one,” or when their soulmate will arrive.
Some people start relationships convinced they’ve met their soulmate, only to watch their supposed “forever love” walk away with someone else. Puzzled, they contact me, asking, “How could this happen if two souls were meant to be together?”
Too many people are left heartbroken and confused when a well-meaning relative or friend, or a misguided psychic lacking spiritual integrity, encourages or assures them that this person is definitely “the one.”
Wrongly believing that a love connection is fated can make the subsequent loss even more painful. Just because a connection feels intense or special doesn’t mean it’s destined to last forever. True soul connections serve a purpose, but that purpose isn’t always love, romance, or lifelong companionship.
Unscrupulous readers and people with poor judgment often misread situations and create false hope, causing lovestruck individuals to cling to relationships that were never meant to last—or even exist, for that matter.
So, what exactly is a soulmate? Spiritually speaking, a soulmate is someone with whom you share a profound pre-birth or past-life connection, or both. These people show up in our lives to help us evolve spiritually, often reestablishing old relationships for the purpose of healing and transformation.
The Curious Case Of The Eavesdropping Medium
I had a good laugh with a friend the other day as we reminisced about an odd encounter the two of us had with a psychic medium many years ago (which she has teased me endlessly about ever since).
We had inadvertently arrived an hour early for a mediumship demonstration by an amazingly gifted medium (according to my friend). Not having much else to do, we decided to grab a bite to eat at the venue’s snack bar before the event began.
Soon we were deep in conversation, enthusiastically discussing spiritualism and mediumship. A few tables away sat a mysterious dark-haired lady who made me feel a little uneasy. I suspected that she might be listening to our conversation.
The hour passed quickly and then the event began. To my surprise and confusion, the dark-haired woman from earlier stood up, greeted everyone, and introduced herself to the gathering. The ‘eavesdropper’ was the medium!
Then she suddenly looked around and said, “Right, who is Lucinda?”
My friend was very pleased with this remarkable development. “See, I told you — she’s the real deal!” she whispered with great excitement.
“No, she’s not,” I hastily whispered back, “she heard my name earlier in the snack bar…when you asked me what I wanted to drink!”
The Freedom To Live Your Truth
Honesty is one of those things we all know is important, but let’s face it — it’s not always the easiest option. Telling the truth often does not win you friends, make your family happy, or help you climb the corporate ladder.
But when you’re on a spiritual journey or facing a karmic reckoning — the truth is everything! It’s not just about being a better person; it’s about living in alignment with your higher self.
Being honest brings a sense of lightness, like a weight lifted from your shoulders. It frees you from the heavy burden of keeping up appearances and the stress of worrying about what others think.
On the other hand, dishonesty — whether it’s a little white lie or a big deception — creates not only tension, guilt, and physical discomfort; it’s a karmic tumor that poisons your soul, fueling a cycle of chaos and imbalance in your life.
Lies and deceit attract confusion, mistrust, and disharmony, disrupts your energy field and throws your whole being out of balance.
This is why it is said that the truth will set you free. You’ve probably heard the saying? It’s been said so many times that it may sound like a cliché, but there is deep wisdom in it. The truth allows us to live without fear, without constantly looking over our shoulder. It brings clarity and peace.
But let’s face it — truth can be scary. We often avoid it because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, rock the boat, or face rejection.
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.