Lightworkers
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
The Basics Of Reiki
Reiki is popular concept in modern spirituality, metaphysics and energy healing. It is therefore good for anyone interested in these fields to have a basic understanding of this technique to engage in discussions with likeminded people in a meaningful way.
The term reiki is a combination of two Japanese words. Rei means ‘divine wisdom’ or ‘divine power,’ and ki means ‘life force energy’ or ‘vital human energy.’ Reiki is therefore a ‘divinely empowered life force.’
Reiki, or rather the system of Reiki, was developed in Japan a century ago by a Buddhist monk known as Mikao Usui. He was a renowned spiritual man who dedicated his life to being of service to others. While seeking spiritual awakening on Mount Kurama, north of the Japanese city of Kyoto, he was divinely inspired with the gift of Reiki. It was introduced to the United States in the late 1930s by Hawayo Hiromi Takata, a Japanese-American woman who received training in Reiki in Tokyo and became a master practitioner.
Although it is more commonly known only as a form of energy healing, true Reiki is in fact a comprehensive spiritual practice and a conscious lifestyle. Yes, it involves the healing of the mind and body, but it also proposes living in total peace with oneself, and being aware of your own unique purpose and spiritual light within. The system of Reiki seeks to remove the layers of fear, worry and attachments that conceal our innate brightness of being.
Protect Yourself From Negative Energy Attachments
A neighbor once asked me to smudge her home and bless it, because she felt there was a lot of negative energy there. She could just ‘feel it.’ People lived below her that she could hear arguing until late hours in the night, using foul language. They would chain smoke too, to the extent that it would rise up through the floorboards. It made her feel sick and caused her to have migraine headaches. Apart from that there were also some old ‘cobwebs’ of trapped negative energy that she wanted me to some and clean out.
She had been dealing with the ups and downs of depression for as long I’ve known her. She is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet, let alone have as a neighbor. She is very kind and always there if you need her. She would be very social at times, inviting friends from church over and entertaining friends regularly, for several weeks, and then she would suddenly feel overwhelmed by the chaos and drama of the people around her, feel drained and depressed, and withdraw from everyone. Then you would not see her for weeks, sometimes months.
I told her I felt that she needed to protect herself energetically and shared with her ways that she can do this. I explained to her that sometimes, when we engage with people, we can pick up some of their negative energies. Even if they are seemingly good people, who go to church and so on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that these people are free from negative energies, or worse, unwanted spirit attachments.
An End-Of-Life Mediumship Experience
I have been doing mediumship work for over 40 years, but recently I received an unusual request I have never had before. I was asked to do a phone reading for a long-time client whose mom who was terminally ill and in hospice intensive care. My client said her mom could no longer speak, and she felt the need to communicate with her before she passed.
I have never done a mediumship reading under these circumstances, but I could hardly refuse my client’s plea. So, I agreed, despite not being entirely confident about how it would unfold.
As soon as I started to tune in, I saw a vision in my mind’s eye of a man holding both her mother’s hands. I described the physical appearance of the two people I was seeing, and the daughter then confirmed that it was definitely her mom and her mom’s brother.
The mother was very relieved to be able to reassure her daughter, as well as her life-long best friend, who was also present in the hospice room at the time, that she was finally ready to transition and return to her spiritual home.
Then I saw three angels standing behind the mother. They wanted to reassure those present that her crossing would be safe and easy, and that she would no longer be in so much pain.
When I perceive angels during readings, they appear to me exactly how one might expect them to look in the traditional Christian art sense, complete with wings and a glowing aura. However, I never see them with recognizable facial features and I always feel their presence first, before I see them.
Karmic Healing Inspired By Our Ancestors
I recently completed a pharmacy volunteer assignment at the American Red Cross. On my final shift, one of the phlebotomists gave me a T-shirt as a parting gift. It is printed with the slogan: Be Cool. Give Blood.
That T-shirt turned out to be a sign from spirit! It synchronistically brought up memories of one of my favorite mentors, and prompted a thought process regarding the role of our ancestors in karmic healing, and our soul family contracts, at a moment in time that I most needed it and found deeply meaningful.
In pharmacy school, I had an eccentric professor who used unconventional teaching methods and famously wore Snoopy™ and Joe Cool™ apparel to class. To us he was much like the character John Keating or “Captain” in the popular film Dead Poets Society (1989). As pharmacy students we usually attended mostly stodgy scientific lectures, therefore we simply loved his unconventional, fun approach!
I distinctly remember one of the topics we discussed in his curriculum was ‘empathy in healthcare.’ Little did I realize at the time how his teachings would someday inspire me in my work as psychic advisor.
In 1994, on the first day of our social and administrative classes, our beloved professor was tragically diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away seven years later in 2001.
The Messenger Must Know When To Hold Her Peace
Ever heard of “less is more?” Well, there is a lot of spiritual truth in the saying. It is especially valid in this day and age, where everyone seems to have preconceived ideas and strong opinions on just about everything. Sometimes saying less, or even saying nothing at all, is enough, and usually for the best.
Saying nothing can be very empowering and liberating. We have free will to choose how we want to spend our time and energy. I choose to focus on things that are for my highest good, and those I care about.
It is not our duty to correct every misinformed opinion or ignorant viewpoint we encounter. Does that mean we should be self-absorbed and uncaring? No, certainly not. But we can also not make the world a better place by wasting our precious time and energy trying to fix everyone, and correct everything, while our own inner peace and well-being suffers.
Compassion, charity, and kindness are all much needed in the world today, but not if it is constantly at our own expense. I therefore prefer to wisely pick my battles, and stick to my lane. One person cannot be everything for everyone. We must focus on our own unique strengths and capabilities when helping others.
If we randomly go out on a limb to help everyone with advice and support, it is often not appreciated and frequently met with negativity and resistance. Not to mention trying to point out the facts or truth of a matter, which can be very risky these days! There are some things in life people just need to figure out for themselves. They don’t always need to hear it from us.