News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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Dealing With Depression

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are depressed people often considered a ‘downer’? To feel depressed is one of the most scorned, stigmatized emotions. Why, one has to wonder? I believe part of the reason is that people are uncomfortable being around someone who suffers from depression. Again, why? Are they maybe so unstable in their own façade of happiness that being around a depressed person will somehow set them off, tipping the balance in their fragile construction of superficial happiness?

Maybe the discomfort is due to others feeling compelled to ‘help’… only to end up feeling angry, frustrated or helpless around the depressed person, because they just don’t know how to be of any real assistance. This attempt at ‘helping’ is usually aimed at getting rid of the depression, but in truth an important part of real help is simple acceptance.

If one is truly centered, it usually does not matter if another is depressed or angry. Dealing with someone else’s depression is simply like accepting the weather. You wear a raincoat if you have to go out, or you simply stay inside and wait for the storm to settle.

Various genetic, social and environmental factors can affect mood and cause depression. Poverty, abusive relationships, family violence, addiction, toxic environments, including food additives and air pollution (including off-gassing), can all be factors in causing depression, as well as weight gain, anxiety, sexual dysfunction, and so on.

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When Your Man Is Not Ready To Commit

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comI often hear how wonderful the guy is that she is dating… if only he would commit to taking their relationship to the next level! If a woman is not satisfied with the way things are going and what she is getting from the relationship, should she continue to wait for him?

By patiently waiting for him against your better judgment, he only learns that he can get away with his lack of commitment, especially if he feels comfortable with what he is getting from the relationship. This way a pattern is formed.

So, how do you avoid wasting some of the best years of your life waiting on a guy that is never going to commit? well, right from the start you tell him what your looking for and what your expectations are. But handle it carefully, after all you don’t want to scare him away before things even get off the ground!

But do let him know how you feel about dating, long-term relationships, commitment, marriage, children, and whatever else may be important to you. This will inform him, so that you have a better shot at being on the same page. If he starts to make excuses, or says that he is not interested in a long-term commitment, at least not right now, then accept his words as the truth.

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Learning To Say Yes To Yourself

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.

But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourselfSelf-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.

Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.

Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.

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Spiritual Power And Spiritual Practice

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWe are spiritual beings having a physical experience. This is important to remember when considering the nature of spiritual things. The root word for spirit is ‘breath.’ This means that every person that is breathing is equally spiritual.

Too often people think that there is a hierarchical system within spirituality; that some people are ‘more spiritual’ than others. This is simply not true. There may be individuals that have a more intentional spiritual practice, with more understanding, knowledge, or wisdom. However, this does not make them ‘more spiritual.’

The nature and purpose of spiritual practice is also something that can be misunderstood. Whether it be prayer, meditation, invocations, or other sacraments, these practices are not just to get what we want. It can be a byproduct of authentic spiritual seeking and practice, but in nearly every tradition, true spiritual power is often summed up with three principles: Love, Joy, and Peace.

All spiritual practices are intended to lead us to tap into these three qualities. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, Love, Joy, and Peace are the first of many “fruits of the spirit.” Authentic spiritual practice is meant to lead us to the experience of these three things.

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Dirty Little Secrets

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comSo many of us have secrets. Some sneak food, others drink alcohol, or they have a sugar habit, can’t have an orgasm, or they are depressed. More interestingly, in my experience, some people in the helping, motivation, exercise, or spiritual industry often have more secrets than most. They keep these secrets, because they have more to lose. If they are supposed to be selling a service or product that ‘works’… appearances matter (perhaps even more than the practice they sell).

Furthermore, people love to worship their idols and gurus… who are sometimes frail and imperfect humans themselves. We create heroes who in turn create themselves. Some of these ‘heroes’ come close to revealing themselves, most are only revealed after their death. In truth, we have no idea what other people are really going through in their lives. Nor do we typically want to know. Instead we prefer to worship some ideal. This helps us to further self-criticize, because we are not that ideal like them. And this in turn encourages everyone to keep more secrets.

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