News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.

Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.

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Spiritual Power And Spiritual Practice

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWe are spiritual beings having a physical experience. This is important to remember when considering the nature of spiritual things. The root word for spirit is ‘breath.’ This means that every person that is breathing is equally spiritual.

Too often people think that there is a hierarchical system within spirituality; that some people are ‘more spiritual’ than others. This is simply not true. There may be individuals that have a more intentional spiritual practice, with more understanding, knowledge, or wisdom. However, this does not make them ‘more spiritual.’

The nature and purpose of spiritual practice is also something that can be misunderstood. Whether it be prayer, meditation, invocations, or other sacraments, these practices are not just to get what we want. It can be a byproduct of authentic spiritual seeking and practice, but in nearly every tradition, true spiritual power is often summed up with three principles: Love, Joy, and Peace.

All spiritual practices are intended to lead us to tap into these three qualities. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, Love, Joy, and Peace are the first of many “fruits of the spirit.” Authentic spiritual practice is meant to lead us to the experience of these three things.

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Dirty Little Secrets

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comSo many of us have secrets. Some sneak food, others drink alcohol, or they have a sugar habit, can’t have an orgasm, or they are depressed. More interestingly, in my experience, some people in the helping, motivation, exercise, or spiritual industry often have more secrets than most. They keep these secrets, because they have more to lose. If they are supposed to be selling a service or product that ‘works’… appearances matter (perhaps even more than the practice they sell).

Furthermore, people love to worship their idols and gurus… who are sometimes frail and imperfect humans themselves. We create heroes who in turn create themselves. Some of these ‘heroes’ come close to revealing themselves, most are only revealed after their death. In truth, we have no idea what other people are really going through in their lives. Nor do we typically want to know. Instead we prefer to worship some ideal. This helps us to further self-criticize, because we are not that ideal like them. And this in turn encourages everyone to keep more secrets.

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For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime?

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI’m often asked in relationship psychic readings if a certain person is ‘The One.’ Is this the person whom my client is supposed to be with in this lifetime? This is such a common question and one that usually deserves a more elaborate answer for clarity.

People come in and out of our life for a myriad of reasons. Some of them are only there for a short period of time, while others remain for decades, or the rest of our life.

Have you ever felt like you keep meeting the same person over and over again, but in a different body? For example, a gentleman might call in for a reading about a woman who he’s been dating for a month. He wants to know why all of a sudden she has pulled away or is paying less attention to him, and then he goes on to say that he continues to meet this same kind of woman. They all seem very interested in him for a short time, and then all of a sudden they just disappear. Why does this keep happening to him? This is where the inquiry tends to come up of, “Will I ever meet the right woman?”

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Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

click here for a FREE reading at PsychicAccess.comI believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.

I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.

I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.

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Be Judgmental

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn this age of being politically correct, some might actually stop reading after seeing the title of this blog post. Please don’t. People these days might accept the terms discernment, or judgment call, but never judgment! But there is no problem with having a judgment. The issue is what you choose to do with that judgment (or judgment call, or discernment). What matters is how you respond to your inner voice judging what is happening. It matters a great deal.

If you have been raised to put others before yourself, you have been taught to not protect yourself, but rather to put the needs, wants and desires of others first. The false belief is that this is done in order to protect yourself, to survive. If you have not questioned your past, or worked on learning about, or healing, your childhood (which happened on purpose as part of your incarnation, and therefore is a key element of exploration for you to advance in soul evolution) you will not even know that putting others first is your default setting. It will simply be ‘normal’ for you, while you continue to wonder why certain patterns of you getting ‘slammed,’ or getting taken advantage of, keep happening.

You cannot heal what you do not know. Children of alcoholics, or addicts, or narcissists, or childhood trauma (war, earthquakes, divorce, death, poverty) often learn that they have to suppress who they are, what they want or need, even what they think, in order to become what someone else wanted them to be, in order to survive, in order to live. Continue reading

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