authentic self
Why You Need To Be Honest With Yourself
As a professional psychic, I frequently see clients stuck in unfulfilling relationships or careers, yearning for a deeper sense of happiness and purpose. Many of these individuals are forced to navigate a societal norm that encourages them to settle for less than what they deserve.
Furthermore, many of us were taught to avoid confronting our problems. This is wrong. We must face the root causes head-on, choosing temporary distractions over them.
This approach may provide a brief sense of comfort, but it is ultimately a futile attempt to perpetuate cycles of dissatisfaction. If you find yourself at a crossroads—questioning a toxic relationship, a stagnant career, or an unfulfilling life path—it is time for a transformative shift. The journey begins with radical honesty.
We must be brutally honest with ourselves. This is not self-criticism. It is self-love. Spiritually empowered people take responsibility for what they can change and refuse to make excuses. When we do this, we empower ourselves to move toward a more authentic, fulfilling life.
Denial and a lack of self-love are holding you back. The truth is our liberator. It shows us the way to greener pastures and a higher vibrational frequency.
Facing your inner truth is uncomfortable. Get over it. Embrace the temporary disruptions of change. It often demands that you release relationships, habits, or patterns that no longer serve your highest good. These shifts might initially feel like losses, but they are blessings in disguise. Each adjustment creates space for new, more aligned opportunities to manifest in your life.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Butterflies
My grandmother was a poet. When I was a child, she wrote a beautiful poem about me. It was about a fairy girl who spent all her time outside chasing butterflies. The poem had a poignant message:
In time, the pendulum swings,
and you can’t hear the butterfly’s wings.
It was her way of reminding me to hold on to my youthful passion, to nurture the light within, and to resist life’s inevitable disappointments.
This wisdom has stayed with me long after her passing, and in the years since, butterflies have become more than a reminder of her — they’ve become her messengers.
Butterflies often appear in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed, under attack, or grieving a loss. They flutter around me, landing gently on my skin and hovering close as if to whisper a reminder: “Don’t let anyone steal your light.”
These delicate creatures have become symbols of resilience, hope, and the enduring connection between my grandmother’s spirit and my own.
Butterflies hold deep spiritual significance across cultures and belief systems. They are seen as symbols of transformation, freedom, and the soul’s journey.
Their life cycle — from caterpillar to cocoon to winged beauty — mirrors our own processes of growth, healing, and self-discovery. They teach us that even in our most confined and vulnerable states, there is the potential for magnificent change.
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
Karmic Healing: Can You Handle The Truth?
In the famous courtroom drama A Few Good Men, Jack Nicholson’s character, Colonel Jessup, exclaims in an iconic movie moment, “You can’t handle the truth!”
I suspect this scene has become legendary in movie history because it resonates so deeply with most people. On some level, many of us sometimes struggle to face the truth about ourselves and our lives.
Whether it’s difficult memories, unhealed wounds, failed relationships, or unspoken regrets, facing our truth can be challenging, even traumatic or overwhelming.
Yet, from a spiritual perspective, facing and owning our truth is one of the most powerful steps we can take on our path to karmic healing and soul growth.
Our soul journey is a karmic balancing act in which the energy we put out into the world eventually comes back to us. When we hide from our truth – whether through denial, justification or avoidance – we accumulate karmic debt.
Like a heavy boulder that we carrry around, karmic debt hinders our soul growth and spiritual progress. On the other hand, when we consciously choose to face our truth, we release this burden and open ourselves to healing, growth, fulfillment and inner peace.
Denial is our most common response to unpleasant truths. We tend to avoid acknowledging aspects of ourselves that we find unattractive, justify our negative behaviors, and make excuses for our bad choices and failures in order to protect our fragile human egos. However, these “untruths” build up over time. By avoiding them, we create layers of illusion that distance us from who we really are and cloud our understanding of our soul purpose and the divine spark within.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
A Spiritual Life Must Be An Authentic Life
While attending a spiritual retreat, my friend, who is also a psychic medium, suddenly said, “You see the woman over there?”
“Yes,” I said. “Who is she? Do you know her?”
“I do,” she replied. “She’s a poser.”
Well, I was not familiar with the term ‘poser,’ so I responded, “What are you talking about? What is a poser?”
She then explained that the woman in question claims to have been a working as a psychic medium for 30 years, with lots of credentials and certifications from different organizations. However, my friend was at another convention just the previous year, where she had met this lady. And at the time, she told my friend that she had only recently discovered that she was psychic!
“That, my friend,” she concluded, “is what I call a ‘poser.”
Well, this was a stark reminder for me. In this ‘post-truth era’ we now live in, it seems anyone can claim to be an expert in anything, as long they can talk a good game. Watching the nightly news just last week, there was a report of a ‘doctor’ who finally got caught after he had been practicing medicine for years without the necessary credentials.
The notions of people being ‘posers’ reminds me of what some of my clients have been saying about online dating apps they have tried. There are many posers on all the social media platforms. People lie about their age, profession, relationship status, and so on. Some also use fake profile photos.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.