self-appreciation
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
The Empath’s Sacred Gift Of Compassion
Being an empath is more than just having a high sensitivity to the suffering of others. It is also the sacred gift of compassion. Empaths do not only perceive other people’s pain, but we also want to soothe, heal, and uplift them. These twin gifts of discernment and compassionate action are inseparable.
I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t feel the calling to alleviate suffering in some way. In a world that so often feels cruel and chaotic, our tender hearts are now needed more than ever.
Compassion, both inward and outward, is a powerful force. It can transform relationships, heal roots of insecurity, and reshape the texture of our inner lives.
In leadership settings, compassionate responses consistently foster trust, deep connection, and lasting loyalty. Harsh reactions, on the other hand, often erect walls and breed resistance.
When someone feels seen, supported, and deeply cared for, their loyalty and dedication follow naturally. This principle applies not only in professional spheres but in every relationship we nurture.
I’ve come to see self-compassion as just as vital as the compassion we extend to others.
Empaths especially can be our own harshest critics. We measure ourselves against external standards and comparisons, often coming up short in our inner dialogue. But offering ourselves a warm, non-judgmental embrace opens new doors: to deeper confidence, heightened clarity, and a grounded sense of worth that doesn’t depend on outperforming someone else.