toxic people
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
Into The Eyes Of Pure Evil
Have you ever known someone whose energy is so extremely dark and evil, because they are so deeply wounded that there is no way anyone can bring them joy, love or light? No matter how much kindness you show them, it is always met with the opposite?
When I pulled up to a condo complex recently, where I had been asked to clear the presence of negative energy, I had a strange sense that the troublesome ‘spirit entity’ I was supposed to deal with was in fact still very much alive. Yes, I clearly sensed it.
Normally, there are clear signs that an earthbound spirit is present and active at a location because they typically make their presence known. At times I have even found them waiting for me right outside or in the entrance, guarding and claiming their domain. But this time there was no sign of a ghost, or spirit, or anything of the sort upon my arrival.
Intrigued and puzzled, I parked my car and walked into the building. The first thing I heard was loud yelling coming from a short woman down the hallway, who then hobbled back to her condo and slammed the door. I wondered who she was yelling at and why?
Another women came down the stairs talking on her phone. I asked her of she knew why the woman was so upset and she said, “Oh, she is ‘upset’ with me. She is always yelling and causing a fuss. She likes to harass whomever she is currently targeting around here, and right now that person is me.”
I then explained to her that I was called in to pinpoint the source of the negative energy in the building and do a cleansing, and that I suspect I have already found it.
“Thank goodness,” she exhaled, “I just needed that confirmed!”
Being Relaxed Is Good
It is difficult for most of us to enjoy a few moments of deep relaxation and inner peace. The many pressures of modern life seldom affords us the bliss of such a ‘luxury.’
A relaxed mindset if vital for our spiritual well-being and soul growth. When we are in a relaxed state, we are better able to channel our higher self and be aware of what our angels and guides are saying to us. But when we are inundated with the chaos of the world, we cannot connect with that higher frequency and we miss all the good things spirit has to offer.
So, I asked spirit what busy humans can do to be more relaxed more often. I received the answer from a cashier who, after I had paid said goodbye with a smile I will never forget and said, “Being relaxed is good.”
I just nodded and said, “Yes, yes indeed it is.”
In our busy lives we forget how important it is to take some time out for self-care. And when we do, we realize what we have been missing!
I believe the best starting point is healthy sleep. Taking the time to get a good night’s rest empowers us to wake up and find that life doesn’t seem quite as difficult as it seemed the day before. Good, adequate sleep helps us see life through the lens of a more relaxed mindset.
Being well-rested is good.
A few additional lifestyle choices that are not so difficult to achieve can further enhance a relaxed state of mind. These include healthy eating and proper nutrition, exercise, taking warm baths, meditating, reading a good book before bedtime, and so on. Continue reading
Sometimes It’s Okay To Keep Your Distance!
Many of us have that one relative we do get along with. In every family there is a ‘Cousin John’ or an ‘Aunt Lydia’ who we simply cannot stand. Try as we might, we just cannot find it in our hearts to love them unconditionally.
In my case it is an uncle who’s views and opinions I just cannot tolerate. I despise all forms of racism, misogyny, and bigotry, and I am also an avid supporter of the LGBTQ community. I have no patience with people who criticize or belittle others for who they were born to be. It is unacceptable and despicable.
For many years now I have been consciously practicing healthy boundaries with relatives and people in general. I preach it! Healthy boundaries are vital for one’s mental health, personal growth and emotional well-being.
My Grandmother and I got along so well when she was in this life. We were like two peas in a pod. When she eventually came to live with us later in her life, there was however one issue that caused tension between us – her son.
My uncle was so out of line, in so many ways that I just could not tolerate having him anywhere near me. He is an extremely hateful man who has no qualms about freely spewing his vitriolic prejudice, verbal abuse and bigoted views in front of anyone who cares to listen, including the children in the family.
My grandmother stubbornly remained loyal to her son through it all, and she could now understand why I could not accept him. She said that it was such a shame that we could not all get along, while I felt it as a shame that he is so hateful. She would make excuses for him, saying for example that he was bullied in school. But I felt he should work on himself, instead of hating on other folks for no reason. She could not see my perspective from her way of thinking. Continue reading
Shine Your Heart Light This Holiday Season
Times have been tough this year. The alignment of the stars have not been overly kind to most of us. Public health crises, economy, politics, mayhem. And in this atmosphere relationships are even tougher than ever to navigate, especially with Venus and Pluto aligning in Scorpio.
My beloved dad, who passed twelve years ago, often said, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” Situations or people may appear hopeless and dark in these times, but it is important to remember that even the smallest flicker of just one tiny candle can shine a light for others to hold on to. Astrologer Pam Gregory, reminds us to breath into our heart centers, to raise our vibrations. In doing so, each one of us can be that tiny candle, flickering in the dark.
The holidays will bring families together. But holidays can either be celebratory occasion of merriment and cheer… or a war zone of toxic viewpoints and unwelcome meddling. It can often be an unresolved issues ‘free-for-all.’ A nosy sibling might tell you what they think, while you did not ask their opinion! Or, Uncle Bob may dip a little too frequently into the spiked eggnog, drowning all the fa-la-la in his wake.
It occurs to me now that the happy Bing Crosby tune Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive I heard on the radio earlier was no accident.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
Raise Your Vibration With Love And Light
Everything is energy, vibration, and frequency. Everything! Changing your vibration changes your frequency. This can lift the veil between dimensions. You will see things differently. Your intuition will evolve.
If you think limitation, you are limitation. If you think abundance, your are abundance. If you send the universe messages that you deserve something, positive or negative, the universe will send that to you in return. Positive or negative.
I often have clients ask why they keep attracting a certain kind of romantic partner. In my experience the issue is not in the attracting of that person, but rather understanding why they stay with that person.
There are many dysfunctional people in the world. So, attracting dysfunctional people is not unusual. But keeping them in your life, putting up with them, being intimate with them, and marrying them is not about them and their dysfunction. It’s about you. Your vibration is sending out a signal that you believe you deserve that kind of person. If you believe you deserve dysfunction, you will attract dysfunction.
We all meet at least one mentally healthy, well-adjusted person in our lifetime that we were not attracted to. Why? Our vibration was low or not in resonance with that person’s energy.
How do we raise our vibration? By engaging with input energies with high vibration frequencies. If you watch television, watch ‘higher vibration’ television. Bad reality TV, violence, horror movies and crime shows lower your vibration and attract darker energies on all dimensions. Too much radiation from phones, computers and television sets also lowers our vibration.
Lifestyle choices also determine our energetic frequency. Drugs and alcohol lower our vibration. Same goes for processed food with chemicals, additives and pesticides lower our vibration. Conversations that are petty, gossipy, and negative not only degrades others, but also lowers our vibration. Fear, anxiety and anger also lower our vibration.
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.