toxic people
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
The Healing Embrace Of Mother Nature
Throughout my life, especially during the most difficult times, the one thing I have always been able to count on is Mother Nature. Gaia, the Great Mother, has always served me well.
I grew up in California, where there is an abundance of water: water falls, creeks, rivers, lakes and the spectacular Pacific Ocean. I had quick and easy access to hiking paths, and other adventures and recreational activities in the great outdoors. In fact, next to dance, hiking was my favorite form of exercise in my teenage years.
When times are difficult, I have always sought out nature. It is so much easier to block out other people’s negativity when all you can see is God’s magnificent creation. It’s divine intent, joy, beauty, harmony, balance, and timelessness.
In the arms of Mother Nature, there is the freedom to tune out all the noise and toxic energy of others…and just hear the voice of Go. It helps you to center yourself, and clear out the negative energy and drama other people sometimes bring into your life.
I find that those of us who live in large cities and urban areas are more likely to get swallowed up by the negative energy of others. We can simply not get away from it in our daily lives. Going back to a home every day, where there is still a lot of radiation and traffic noise, will not let you heal or reenergize.
We all need to take the time to hear our inner voice. No cars, no talking, no noise. Just our own thoughts and inner guidance. We must make time to just hear the voice of spirit within. Otherwise, the voice of the ego that we hear in our head becomes toxic with negative self-talk.
God’s natural world is a temple of healing, a shrine of grace, a sanctuary for the burdened soul. This is why nature must also be protected. By protecting nature, we are protecting God. Mature is a gift to us from Source. It belongs to all of us, including future generations.
Keep Your Home Safe From Toxic Energy
Your house is your sacred space. It is hallowed ground. It is the place where you and your loved ones regenerate, and find renewed strength and inner peace. For this reason, the energy in your home must be kept healthy and clean.
Some people believe it is okay to temporarily allow toxic people and other sources of negative energy into their homes, and then try to meditate, pray or smudge it away with sage later on, when it becomes a problem. I do not recommend this approach.
It is not always that simple or easy to get rid of negative energy. It tends to linger, especially when it is very aggressive, or has an extremely low, dark vibration. It may require a lot of repetitive spiritual cleansing work, and your firm intention, to be properly dealt with.
I used to take in people in need, who temporarily needed a refuge or safe haven. But I learned a difficult lesson. While I had the best intentions, and my heart was in the right place, I wasn’t actually helping them. Most of them only went on to damage my property, steal my belongings, or hurt my feelings in some way. All of them somehow took advantage of me. And they always left my house, and my heart, in a mess.
These days I will donate, advise, offer a ride, or even a shoulder to cry on. But no one comes into my home anymore, especially since I started having children. My home is now sacred, holy territory. And I keep the energy pure in every possible way.
Keeping Your Cool In These Stressful Times
This is a stressful time, but my feeling is the Covid-19 pandemic has happened in our world for a reason. It is has been making us take a real long look at what is most important in life. It has been teaching us to not take our daily lives and our loved ones for granted.
The situation has been causing tremendous stress for many of us and has been challenging many relationships. And some of us are dealing better with it than others. If you have been struggling too, then there are some simple self-care strategies that could be helpful if you are feeling overwhelmed by a situation at home.
Start by holding some space for yourself, by carving out some time to just be by yourself, even it is just an hour. Use this time to do whatever makes you happy. If it means doing absolutely nothing, that is fine too! Having some ‘alone time’ helps to declutter your mind, improve your mood and restore your sense of self. If you cannot find peace at home, then go for a walk, or just go get cup of coffee somewhere nearby.
Meditation or quiet contemplation is a wonderful tool to gain a sense of calm and clarity. Take a moment to reflect on whatever may be bothering you, and try to gain a new perspective on the situation. There are always more than one side to a situation, and many tensions and conflicts can be resolved with cool heads and calm discussions.
The Need For Empath Self-Care
In times of great stress an empath may neglect their own needs in favor of others, and start to lose the unique perspective they bring to the world.
Since most empaths, by their very nature, want to help others, finding a balance between using their gifts, while practicing self-care, can be tricky. Simply put, it’s easy in these times for empathic people to become overwhelmed.
Empaths feel the energies of the world much stronger than others, and can pick up on the subtle changes in the emotions and intentions of those around them. The empath serves as both a mirror and a prism to the world and its energies. Being an empath feels as if your ‘personal filter’ has been turned off, and naturally, there are many things in our noisy, hectic world that can trigger empaths.
Whether it be the chaos of others arguing or fighting; the feeling of getting lost in a crowd; the sense that others are being phony or inauthentic; or just too much on one’s emotional plate all at once; the empath may begin to withdraw, or even shut off from the rest of the world, when it all becomes too much.
Think of an empath’s ability to pick up on energies like a motion-alarm system which is constantly being tripped by any form of movement or activity. In this case the motions are the energies, emotions, and forces which shape our world. The empath has to deal with the stresses of this constant barrage.
Not only is the empath surrounded in modern society by constant incoming sensory stimuli: flickering images, flashing lights, loud music, conversations, and ambient noise, but also moving in though an ocean of all kinds of good and bad energy. Finding time and space to shut off all the noise, and block out all the negative energies, needs to be part of an empath’s daily self-care routine.