self-sacrifice
Learning To Honor My Higher Self
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that made you feel very uncomfortable, upset, even angry, to the point where you could feel their negative, toxic energy attaching to you? I certainly have, more times than I care to remember.
This feeling of extreme discomfort is usually a clear sign that the interaction you are having with this person is going against your higher self. Yet, even though we are aware of this on some level, we often fail to do what is right for our highest good and instead continue to interact with the energy thief in question to our own detriment.
Truth be told, I have been guilty of this myself many times. Only to face the aftermath of unhappiness and disappointment for not honoring my higher self.
I have recently become increasingly aware of this personal failing and have been actively working to identify my motives for putting and keeping myself in these situations.
I have come so far in my quest for increased self-awareness and spiritual growth that I am willing to explore and deal with the deepest corners of my soul-self. True enlightenment is not only about our brightest achievements, but also about our darkest inner shadows.
Is Their Kind Gesture Selfless Love?
I’m sure you know some wonderful people who just seem to do or say the right thing at the right time. It really makes you feel good to have friends who go out of their way to bring you some chicken noodle soup when they hear you’re not feeling well. Those friends are like jewels!
I love doing charity work. It makes my heart feel good to just give without wanting anything in return. It is always a great feeling to be able to do something good for another person. It makes me feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life to help others in any way I can.
It could be a kind word, or giving them some insight or answers to a question that can set them on the right path in life, or even knitting a scarf for children who don’t have anything warm to wear because their parents can’t afford it. It gives me a sense of happiness that you just can’t get any other way. It makes you feel connected to the source of all that is good and right in this world.
But I have also known people who do things just to get something in return. They will always remind you of this great deed they did just to get something from you. Or they will make you feel guilty for something they did for you. That is not a real friend.
I have also known people who will do things to get a free psychic reading, not realising how much time, energy and dedication it takes to do meaningful psychic work. There are times when I work too much and actually get sick from it. It drains me so much that I have to take a few days or even weeks off.
The Empowered Empath
People are naturally drawn to empaths. They tend to open up and pour their souls out to the empath, instinctively knowing that their secrets are safe and that there will be no judgment or condemnation. This is great, unless you are the empath who is constantly feeling burned out and exhausted from the burden of keeping everyone around you happy, with no one to talk to yourself.
I’ve been doing readings on PsychicAccess.com for more than a decade now, and in that time I’ve had the privilege of reading for many people who are born empaths but were unaware of their innate gifts and abilities. They have since grown exponentially in their awareness and have learned to trust what is at the core of their being.
Not only have they become aware of what makes them so different, they realize that they are not ‘crazy’ or ‘too sensitive’ or ‘imagining it.’ They have been told such things all their lives, but now they can trust their very keen intuition and know that they are usually right on the money.
The moment empaths embrace their true, gifted nature, the gut-wrenching anxiety, tension headaches, and other health problems begin to subside. Their confidence soars. It is wonderful to observe this newfound self-empowerment.
But the openness and courage required to do this kind of soul searching is not easy. It takes determination, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Not to mention the difficulty of cultivating the patience required to learn where and when to say what you feel and know. Sensing the outcome of events or relationships, or more importantly, knowing that something is going on with someone before they know it, can be very challenging.
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Transform Your Life One Step At A Time
Knowing when to make that much needed change in your life can be daunting and very confusing. We often feel this need for change when we already have a lot going on. We tend to also overthink things and then feel overwhelmed, or even paralyzed with anxiety or fear.
Once you get into this kind of ‘stuck’ pattern, nothing seems to get done or resolved. No choices or decisions are made. In turn, this causes even more unhappiness, distress, and turmoil in your life. We all have a tendency to get in our own way.
Over the years of working with many clients in this situation, spirit has always made one thing very clear: it always starts with a firm choice or decision. You don’t have to act on it immediately, but it instantly begins to shift your energy in a new direction, or towards a long-term solution.
Indecision, fear, or lack of commitment to a clear vision for the future is first and foremost what keeps many people stuck indefinitely in the stagnant energy loop of an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
Once you have made up your mind about what you intend to achieve or which direction you wish to go, you gain more clarity and become calmer and more grounded to start taking baby steps forward. Then you can begin to resolve the situation one step at a time with spirit’s support.
To get started consider a simple, step-by-step approach to make break the process down into smaller steps that will be less overwhelming and more attainable.
The Messenger Must Know When To Hold Her Peace
Ever heard of “less is more?” Well, there is a lot of spiritual truth in the saying. It is especially valid in this day and age, where everyone seems to have preconceived ideas and strong opinions on just about everything. Sometimes saying less, or even saying nothing at all, is enough, and usually for the best.
Saying nothing can be very empowering and liberating. We have free will to choose how we want to spend our time and energy. I choose to focus on things that are for my highest good, and those I care about.
It is not our duty to correct every misinformed opinion or ignorant viewpoint we encounter. Does that mean we should be self-absorbed and uncaring? No, certainly not. But we can also not make the world a better place by wasting our precious time and energy trying to fix everyone, and correct everything, while our own inner peace and well-being suffers.
Compassion, charity, and kindness are all much needed in the world today, but not if it is constantly at our own expense. I therefore prefer to wisely pick my battles, and stick to my lane. One person cannot be everything for everyone. We must focus on our own unique strengths and capabilities when helping others.
If we randomly go out on a limb to help everyone with advice and support, it is often not appreciated and frequently met with negativity and resistance. Not to mention trying to point out the facts or truth of a matter, which can be very risky these days! There are some things in life people just need to figure out for themselves. They don’t always need to hear it from us.