self-sacrifice
Successful Relationships Begin With Self-Love
How do you ensure your relationship will work long-term? Many callers ask me this question almost every day. In my experience, there needs to be a balance of love, caring, respect and truth for any relationship to last. If you do not have these components in a relationship, more than likely it will not work out. If a relationship is out of balance, then it usually is too one-sided and not serving your highest good.
The key first step is to love and respect yourself, because when you love and respect yourself, you will also receive more love and respect from others. There is not much of a future for any relationship that is based on the self-sacrifice of one party. It never lasts and typically does not end well. Balance is required in matters of the heart.
Along with the respect you deserve in the way you are treated. it is loving, caring, and respectful? This is applicable to everyone in your life, including romantic partners, friends, co-workers, family, and relatives.
Respect is not only something we must demand, but we must also set boundaries for it in our daily life. When a boundary is repeatedly disregarded or violated by someone in your life, then something needs to change. This is when you have to say, enough.
Sometimes the hard decisions need to be made. If someone is not respecting you in your relationship, treating you poorly, and not meeting your most essential wants and needs, then it is time to make a change. Respect yourself enough to end it.
Too many people do not believe they deserve love and respect, for various reasons. The problem often begins in childhood. It is important to realize you do and to start loving yourself a little more – not in an egotistical way, but in a way that you love and respect yourself enough to want only the best for you and to no longer settle for anything less.
Be Mindful Who You Allow Into Your Energy Field
We all know someone who is personally so miserable they want everyone around them to be equally miserable too. You can usually tell by how they talk, behave, and treat others.
Due to a recent encounter I personally had with a relative who is acts like this, I decided to ask spirit for insight and guidance on how to deal with such people. How does a spiritually conscious person handle someone who makes us feel as though we need to walk on eggshells whenever we are around them?
Spirit showed me that we all have those relatives or friends who are obviously very unhappy and choose to take it out on others. Spirit says the first step is to not participate in any argument they try to initiate. Simply don’t respond. To argue it takes two people. So simply do not buy their drama.
It can get very uncomfortable when such a negative, toxic individual engages with you. They can make us feel really bad – often for no reason other than wanting to bring you down to their low frequency. Don’t allow them to push your buttons. By not giving in to their ploy, you remain connected to the Light,
Understand that some people are in a very fragmented place of spiritual disconnect and emotional dysfunction, often because they never dealt with their emotional issues on a deeper level. So, because of that they take it out on others.
Spirit says we must seek to create some healthy space and set boundaries with these people. We can be compassionate and understanding, without becoming their victims or emotional punchbags. It is your spiritual right to take back your power.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.
Remember To Reach Out This Holiday Season
The holidays have been different these past two years. We are normally accustomed to planning big get-togethers, buying many gifts, preparing lots of food and finally gathering with family and friends. In the past, these gatherings were a given, whenever feasible, and both small and large get-togethers were marked with fun, laughter, music, food and festivities.
But a global pandemic has been curtailing our carefully laid plans and we had to be to be innovative to stay connected with our loved ones. Some people live in areas with very little impact. Others are in hot spots. Regardless of your own current situation, it is important to include people safely, to whatever level you can under the circumstances.
Please remember to touch a few lonely hearts this time of year, even if it is just by way of a quick phone call or text message. If there are people you know who live alone or are unable to join their usual groups to celebrate, do whatever you can to reach out to them and make them feel included in the celebrations. Connect virtually, send a parcel or invite them to a future event to look forward to.
Extend your reach to those less fortunate as well. This time of year can be particularly difficult for those in need. Contribute to a charity, or reach out to a volunteer group and offer your services. A willing pair of helping hands is always appreciated.
Amid all the chaos and excitement of the season, also take some time to be good to yourself. We tend to run ourselves ragged, while it just isn’t possible to keep going at maximum speed without a well-deserved break. It is important to remember that we cannot give what we ourselves do not have. Your career or business will always be there. Recharge your batteries so you will be rested, confident, and energized to help others.
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
The True Tale Of The Praying Hands
Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with 18 children. Yes, eighteen! In order to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost 18 hours a day at his trade, as well as any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood.
Despite their seemingly hopeless condition Albrecht and Albert, two of the older children, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they were fully aware of the fact that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to the art academy.
After many long discussions at night, in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother who would attended the academy.
Then, after four years, when the brother who won the coin toss completed his studies, he would in turn support the mining brother to also attend the academy – either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines.
They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg to study art. Albert went down into the dangerous mines, and for the next four years financed his brother whose creative work at the academy was an almost immediate sensation. Albrecht’s etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his fellow students and even those of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.
When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht’s triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled him to fulfill his ambition. His closing words were: “And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you.”
Are Your Erasing Your Blessings?
Our good deeds and random acts of kindness are never in vain, even when they are not acknowledged or appreciated. Our good deeds are written up on a ‘good deed chalkboard’ in the spirit realm. The unselfish gifts of our time, money, and resources as well as our labors of love bring us many blessings in this lifetime and the next. When we are kind and generous to others, we are also showered with good fortune in return. We know this from the ‘golden rule’ of ‘do unto others’ found in many religions and spiritual traditions.
Buy I have read for many clients over the years who are kindhearted and loving people, but complain about their life being very difficult and deprived. They never have enough money, or they cannot find love, or health and well-being seem to evade them. “I am always helping others, but I get nothing in return,” they might say.
Why is this the case? Why are these generous, caring people not being blessed more often for their good deeds? Well, my guides have made the spiritual cause of this very clear to me. It is my understanding that we do not only add items of charity and compassion to the list of entries on our ‘chalkboard,’ but we also delete or erase them!
You see, when we do a good deed, it gets added to our list of potential ‘return blessings.’ But, if we go around bragging about it, boasting, showing off, telling people how generous or kind we have been, those good deeds become nullified, neutralized, erased. It loses its metaphysical power and spiritual meaning. It can no longer bless us in return.