self-reflection
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Negative Emotions All The Way Home
When life gets tough or something happens to upset me, whether it be big or small, I make it a point to become very quiet and mindful. I do this to get clear, so that I can see all sides of a situation, as well as stay open to learning any possible spiritual lessons that are being offered.
Typically, there’s a strong emotion linked to what has occurred. If I can allow it to be there in a calm way, I can start to see the situation from a clearer perspective.
If the situation involves being hurt, for example, I take some time out – long enough to not hastily defend myself or problem-solve. Doing this creates an opening where the Divine can step in and take over.
I like to think of it as having a weight on me and imagining a group of cherub angels coming along to lift the heavy burden emotions I’m experiencing. They then take it from me and fly away. Though this is just a visualization, there is great relief at times in turning situations over to a higher power.
I have noticed, as I get older, that certain things that used to bother me so much, and would take weeks or months to get over, I now release in just a day, or even a couple of hours. This is because I no longer allow myself to be overwhelmed by the emotion in the moment.
I believe what helps to accomplish this is going beyond the difficult emotion, into a realm or a land less frequented. I refer to is as “taking it all the way home.” What I mean by this is to examine what it is I am most afraid of.
The Transformative Power Of Gratitude
The act of giving thanks is a transformative one. When we live in gratitude, our energy vibration becomes elevated, and this positivity spreads outward like the ripples in water. If you’ve ever heard of paying it forward, this is the same idea! Gratitude changes lives – both our own and that of others.
Being appreciative and giving thanks to others, to the Universe, to the Earth for its sustenance, raises positive energies which will in turn come back to us.
Sometimes being grateful can feel like a chore, or something we need to pretend feeling. Every one of us experiences hardship and adversity. Life’s challenges sometimes get even the most grateful people down. The best way to flip that into something positive is to make a list of gratitude statements, in your mind, aloud, or in your journal.
Are you grateful for your friends, family, your health, the beauty of nature? Maybe you’re simply thankful you were able to get up this morning, when many other people were not.
Make this process one from the heart. Feel the positive energy. After a while, it will become an uplifting habit, and your body and mind will start to enjoy the positive rush of feelings. Let this routine be the first thing you do in the morning, and the last one you do at night before sleep.
Making The Most Of Pisces Season
Today we are entering Pisces season. The Sun moves into the zodiac sign of Pisces every year from February 18th through March 20th, and activates our compassion, intuition and imagination. This is a cycle where we are able to get in touch with our deeper emotions and heal any issues that might be weighing us down.
Pisces is a mutable, water sign, which allows us to be more flexible and go with the flow of the Universe. Now is not the best time for planning and taking action, but great for reflection, journaling, artistic expression and dreaming.
Technically, Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and shows us the accumulation of what we have learned in the past year. It also helps us release in order to prepare for the next cycle in Aries.
The negative aspects of Pisces brings up addiction issues, escapism, delusions, being overly sensitive and falling into a victim mentality. It can seem like we are swimming in circles in this period, so acknowledging our direction and any imbalances are vital.
The Sun in Pisces is also a good time to get in touch with our bodies, and to detoxify with lots of water, fresh whole foods, and upgrading our self-care routine. If you are unsure of where to start with exercise, more gentle movement activities, like Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates or swimming in a body of water, will help create re-connection. It is all about taking your time and accepting where you are in your life.
The Universal Law Of Karma
Karma is a universal spiritual law, the same way that gravity is a law of nature or physics. The Law of Karma basically states that ‘as you sow, shall you reap.’ Karma is therefore the spiritual principle of ‘cause and effect.’ For every action there is an equal reaction, or ripple effect.
Karma is also what keeps everything in the Universe in balance. The Chinese symbol of Yin and Yang perfectly illustrates this process of ‘karmic balancing.’ It shows how all the positive and negative forces in the universe balance each other out, because karma equalizes the energy that flows through everything.
Every single action that we take in life is therefore like a spiritual seed we plant. Some of the seeds will sprout quickly, while others may take lifetimes to come to fruition. However long it may take, one thing is for sure, in time every seed we sow will germinate… and we will eventually have to face the result of all our actions and choices.
Karma is therefore an endless chain of actions and reactions, which binds every soul to their good and bad deeds. The soul, born into a physical body, is constantly acting to bring about the results of activity from one life to the next. We choose to act in a certain way, and then become involved with the reactions or consequences of each chosen action.
After giving up one physical body, we eventually enter into another, and we mostly forget everything about that previous life. In this way the soul reaps the results of his actions, from lifetime to lifetime. Everything that happens in our lives is nothing but the reaction of past activities.