mindset
New Beliefs To Live Your Best Life
The stress and challenges of late and the negative energies in our world in recent times have brought many of us to a point of feeling anxious, frustrated, worried and confused. Some people have even become fearful of leaving their homes. But the time has come to move beyond the negativity and fear and start living our best life again.
Fear is powerful. Fear can keep us trapped in a mental prison of our own making and can prevent us from moving forward. More often than not our worst fears are unfounded and not based in reality or truth.
Belief is also powerful. Beliefs can be negative or positive, true or false. Beliefs originate from within and, again, it is up to each of us to decide if our beliefs are true, or if merely keeps us stuck.
Look deeply at your fears and beliefs. Consider all the fears and beliefs that you sense may be holding you back. Make a list and leave some spaces between each line. When you are done, carefully review your list. Read each line carefully. Once you have done this, think of a truth or positive belief to counteract each of the items on your list and write it underneath each one. Now read the new list out loud to yourself. For example:
False belief: I have no money to do anything.
Counter belief: I do have some money. I have food on my table, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and I a few extra nickels in my wallet. I do have money to do things. And if I set my mind to it, I can earn some more money.
It is that simple to come up with new beliefs. However, the difficult part is programming each positive statement in your psyche. Therefore, it is important to keep it simple, realistic and truthful.
For example, ‘having a few nickels’ is a simple truth that counters the false belief that you ‘have no money.’ it is simply not true that you have no money. You do have a few extra nickels…and that is indeed money. In other words, you have now erased the lie that you believed and changed it to the truth that is. That is the simplicity of this exercise.
Who’s To Say If It’s Good, Or Bad?
Who’s to say if it’s good, or bad? There is a wise Buddhist children’s story I often read to my son that answers this question.
A young boy tells his father in a panicked, desperate tone, that his horse has gone missing. He is obviously very distraught and terrified he will never see his horse again.
The father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
The son, of course, is confused. How could the loss of his horse not be a bad thing?
They go out into the woods to search for the horse. After many long days, they eventually find the horse. It has since made friends with a wild horse.
The father turns to the son and says, “See? Now you have two horses!”
But on the way back home the son stumbles and injures his leg. Again, he is miserable and terribly distraught. He tells his dad this is the worst possible thing that could happen. Now he will not be able to ride his horse.
His father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
Of course, the son is perplexed and cannot figure out how injuring his leg could possibly be a good thing?
A week later, some of the son’s friends come to visit him. They tell him that they have been commanded to head out to war, along with all men over the age of 18. They tell the son he is lucky to have broken his leg, because now he would not be required to go to war with them.
Over the years, I have known many people, especially energy healing clients and Yoga students, who had suffered serious illness or injury…who later said it actually saved their lives, or brought them significant personal and spiritual growth, joy, fulfilment, and even bliss.
The Many Deaths And Rebirths In Your Lifetime
You have already died many deaths. Many versions of you will ‘die’ in this lifetime. And, many versions of you will be reborn.
Of course, you have also passed through the veil between this life and the next for many past lives. But in this case, I am referring to ‘deaths’ we suffer in this lifetime.
We can identify these dramatic changes, transitions, shifts, or ‘deaths’ in our astrological chart. Your Saturn Return, for example, occurs around the time of our 30th birthday. Our Saturn Return forces us to take an honest look at everything we may have been avoiding until now. It forces us to make much needed changes and improvements. It is the ending of our youth and the birth of our new adult self.
We do not remain the same person throughout our lifetime. Our goals, ideas, and life lessons all serve their purpose until they are phased out to let in new information, new ideas, and new opportunities for growth. If we do this right, life keeps changing us. We continue to grow and expand.
For this purpose, it is wise to interact with people who have different beliefs, practice other religions, and have other political affiliations compared to our own. And more importantly, to really listen to them. We must allow all the information in and trust our intuition to let our beliefs and understanding of life continuously evolve.
Our life experiences constantly challenge and change our ideas, goals, and views. We are constantly shedding our old skin. Just as our body changes every day we are alive, so does our soul. We take in every experience, whether we know it or not. It’s like adding ingredients to a recipe.
Embrace these deaths and births along your life path. They are needed for your soul growth and spiritual expansion. I’ve witnessed over the years some people really fighting change and resisting growth…and it always makes them miserable. Fluidity and acceptance are spiritually essential. Simplicity will bring you inner peace.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.