Self-Help
Learning To Deal With Toxic Individuals
If, as many teachings suggest, there is spiritual growth in every experience, and in particular the more difficult times, then being strongly affected by another person’s negative behavior must also be one of life’s lessons.
I have been pondering this because of the increase in psychic reading calls I have been getting related to this very topic. Some of my clients have been profoundly upset lately by the negative outbursts of people in their lives, including family, friends, partners, work colleagues, or even random altercations in public places.
I love these words from the poem Desiderata: “Avoid the loud and the aggressive – they are vexations to the spirit.” How very true. However, more often than not, we are not in the position to avoid those individuals altogether, in order to escape their toxic influence. Even in a friendship turned sour, we often want to give the toxic friend the benefit of the doubt, knowing that they don’t always behave that way. We might even be in love with a negative person, hoping we can change them one day. Continue reading
Healing The Spirit
Imagine a vehicle created today that will not only be able to assess, from an inner guidance system, any damage done to it at a given time, but also have the wherewithal to be able to make all the appropriate repairs by itself. We would most likely be lined up in droves to witness this immaculate event, because more than likely we would not trust that this could be true. We would have to experience for ourselves if it truly possible.
Do you remember, as a little kid, falling and skinning your knee? What did you do at the time? Did you just have mom clean it off, allow a scab to cover it, which is your body’s natural way of saying, “Let me put this protective coating on to make sure there is no further damage.” And then all you had to do was just let your knee recover and heal by itself, with no further help from anyone or anything, because your body knows inherently what to do. Continue reading
Being A Cusp Capricorn
I was born amid a snowstorm, in an age where there were no cell phones, nor color television. In fact, we only had a handful of channels on television, if you were lucky enough to own one. In those days vehicles were V-8 engines and did not have seatbelts. Life was so simple.
In the Summer we played outside, and in the Winter we played outside. If we played a game on a rainy day, it was a board game such as monopoly or checkers, or we colored and dreamed of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most boys wanted to be a policeman, or a fireman. Those were not even an option if you were a girl. You could be a wife, a mother, a bookkeeper, a secretary or a teller at a bank. Options for women were very limited.
I don’t know how many times I was told I could not do something with the explanation, “Because you’re a girl!” This broke my spirit for a long, long time. I wanted to play baseball and hockey. “No, sorry, that’s for boys only. You can draw or paint, or cook.” Continue reading
When Your Love Fantasy Overshadows Reality
Relationships flourish when they are put in the proper climate for growth. When it comes to intimate and romantic relationships it is integral for our own personal growth to recognize what we want and expect within the situation. Boundaries are a powerful way to cultivate the experiences that are more meaningful in our relationships.
Often when I am reading for a person that is having consistent challenges, Spirit will identify similar challenges within the situation. This is not universal, because challenges can stem from many sources. However, I would like to identify some consistent messages that do come up related to relationships.
One issue that comes up quite often is a focus on fantasy rather than reality. This is not to say that fantasy is bad, but when an individual expends a lot of their time and energy fantasizing about how a situation will evolve, they can potentially fall in love with the fantasy instead of the reality. Continue reading
Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Spiritual Cleansing
With a new year comes the opportunity again to better ourselves, but how many of us consider the spiritual along with the physical or mental? Like our homes or our cars, our spiritual selves accumulate ‘junk’ over time and need cleaning too.
The first clue that a spiritual cleansing or psychic clearing is overdue is that general feeling of heaviness, emotional clutter, or being overwhelmed. Just as we tend to get depressed when our living space is a wreck, if our spiritual essence is no longer working properly, neither will we as a whole unit.
A perfect way to get started, which is inexpensive and environmentally friendly, is to smudge your physical space with a healing herb such as sage, or something stronger like frankincense. As you burn these herbs, focus on ridding negative energies and memories and repeat a mantra such as, “I release that which I no longer need, and focus now on the present.” Continue reading
Trust Your Intuition To Avoid Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be a very destructive component of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of ‘reality twisting’ or ‘crazy making’ that aims to confuse or manipulate the victim. Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship, by making the victim question their reality.
The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, in the workplace and with neighbors. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but mostly it is done under the radar and you don’t always know who is gaslighting you, or even that you are being gaslighted. Continue reading