Love & Relationships
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
The Symbolism Of Wedding Ribbons And Cords
In a recent reading, I had visions of a wedding and a shotgun! I did my best to diplomatically convey what I was seeing to the client. I also mentioned how I saw lots of colored ribbons, and a rather large gathering of people of all ages and cultures.
He laughed, and said that two years ago, he felt a strong urge for himself and his partner to get married. They both came from large families and wanted to make sure that certain ailing, elderly members would still be able to attend and join in the celebration.
He also said he was so glad spirit prompted them to marry sooner than later, because the pandemic would have prevented not just the large gathering of guests from attending, but also many from traveling from various corners of the world as they had done. Apparently, the ribbons I saw related to the traditional pagan handfasting they had chosen as the ceremony for their special event.
The handfasting ritual had always fascinated him, because of his own Celtic origins and he explained how both his and his partner’s hands were bound together with a ribbon during the vows and exchanging of rings. I later learned from a Pagan friend that cord is sometimes also used for this purpose in such a ceremony.
In many traditions the use of colored ribbons and cords is of spiritual significance at certain ceremonies, especially weddings. They are typically used to physically connect the couple, or they are placed in or around an altar. The cord is a symbol of the lifetime bond the couple is entering into.
For example, a wedding cord, also known as the ‘wedding lasso,’ is used in some Catholic wedding ceremonies. It typically consists of a loop of rosary beads made out of white satin or silk, and formed into a figure eight shape, and placed around the bride and the groom after they have made their vows.
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
Embracing The Mirages Of Life
Imagine yourself walking through a hot desert, whipped by the relentless winds, and scorched by what feels like an unforgiving sun. Suddenly, a crystal-clear spring emerges in the distance. But the closer you come to this beautiful fountain, the more you realize that its calm waters are evaporating into thin air.
Taken aback, you face the reality that what you envisioned was never real or true. It was nothing more than a mere mirage. This optical illusion created by warm air near the ground refracting the light from the sky has deceived weary travelers for thousands of years. Ancient poets even wrote verses that spoke of the delights and dangers of the mirage. Sacred texts reveal the mirage that gave hungry and thirsty pilgrims hope during long migrations or exodus.
As a spiritualist, I often receive calls from clients who have also been misled by mirages, only these mirages are not of the biblical deserts that prophets of old journeyed across. These are instead the ‘mirages of life.’ I often hear clients lament how everything appeared to line up so perfectly, but the outcome was an unexpected disappointment. My answer is always the same. There are times in life when on the surface everything seems to be falling into place, yet the desired outcome does not complete the story we had hoped to write.
I some cases, the seemingly ‘perfect partner’ stuck around for years without any proposal for marriage. In other instances, there was an awesome interview for the dream job that ultimately was offered to someone else. I could share countless examples of how expected outcomes are sometimes derailed in our world.
We have all encountered mirages in our life, as well as the disappointment and heartbreak that follow. But if you really take a step back and reflect on your past disappointments, you will soon note that Spirit always had a much better plan with your name on it. The love you thought you lost is often replaced with a better love you never imagined possible. The position you wanted more than anything was more appropriately aligned with someone else, and instead of misplacing your gifts and talents, the new job you ultimately found was much more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.