Love & Relationships
Keeping My Promise To A Departed Loved One
Sometimes we become so busy and preoccupied in our daily lives that we forget the commitments we made to loved ones, relatives and friends. But this does not only apply to the living. Some of us also forget the promises we make to those that are no longer with us.
Too often we hold the hand of a loved one on their deathbed and promise to look after those they will be leaving behind. They wish for us to look after those they will no longer be able to care for and love in this life. And we promise wholeheartedly to do whatever it is they ask of us in their final moments.
But once they have departed and life returns to normal, we soon forget these promises and serious conversations. Our memories become conveniently selective. We usually don’t mean for this to happen, but life does have a way getting in the way.
I had a shocking reminder recently of my own selective memory in this regard. Several years ago, I got into the habit of journaling about issues in my life that deeply matter to me. Recently, I was not able to sleep and was encouraged by spirit to go through my journal.
So, I sat up at about four o’clock in the morning and randomly opened my journal on the very page where I had written about a promise that I had made to a loved about another person, whom I had a strong dispute with in the past. Being only human, I had some seriously negative feelings towards that individual.
However, I had promised to check in and be supportive to this person, whom I did not like very much at all, on behalf of the person who was in their final hours. At the time, I remember saying that I would “do my best” and that “if I could, I would.”
The promise was much more than just checking in on the relative. It went as far as the very items I was meant to get at the grocery store, as well as things to say to this person when I delivered it. I had however conveniently forgotten about it since, until I discovered the entry in my journal.
Release Then, Embrace Now
I did the most interesting and heartfelt psychic reading the other day. Once it was over, I thought about my responses as a reader for this particular subject matter and how we live and, hopefully, learn. This was a case of lost love come back around again, after many decades of separation and years of wondering ‘what if?’ My client had loved and lost her soulmate when they were mere teenagers, many moons ago.
The parting had not been easy or a willing one for either of them, but our parents’ opinions when we are a certain age often tend to determine our decisions and choices. The two lovers parted ways and went on to lead their separate lives with other people, but in their hearts they never forgot each other. It took a long time, but their paths did cross again – this time with life at the helm, instead of their parents’ wishes and decrees.
Their original parting was so painful for the woman that, although she was so happy to see him again, she could not help but react from a perspective of fear and panic. She approached their reconciliation from the then place, which was one of loss, confusion and grief.
During a reading on this matter, it was immediately apparent that there still were many rivers to cross. The first words from me were: “There is so much love here waiting to happen!” Little else seemed to matter much at all. But the client was still stuck in the past.
Then a pearl of wisdom came from Spirit. “Right now is right now,” the Angels confirmed. “We would not have brought the two together were there not unfinished business and love here to attend to. Tell her to release the past and take the leap of faith. Once she releases it, she will be able to see the now. Then she can proceed from an open heart, not from the fear of loss. She won’t experience the same scenario again, or have it re-enact itself, because she will have released the past. It will literally be a new lease on life.”
The Mystery Woman In My Mother’s Kitchen
I had an unusual childhood as the member of a psychic family. I also grew up in a haunted house, which is something we did not openly discuss in those days.
One particular ‘ghost’ story is something I will never forget. It was one of those unusual instances where my psychic abilities would not provide any of the answers. It was also an incident that would change my family forever.
My mother was terminally ill and shortly before she passed we were sitting in the living room talking to her. She kept referring to this woman she saw cooking dinner in the kitchen. She described the woman as being in her early 60’s, with an apron and light brown hair. My mother was not pleased that this stranger was busy cooking in her kitchen. What was she doing there?
Although we are a highly intuitive family, none of us saw or felt the presence of any ‘woman’ at that time. There certainly was no ghost in the kitchen. If there was, we would have sensed something. We were not sure if my mother’s words were merely a side-effect of the medication she was on, or whether she was getting ready to leave this life, which may have been causing her to hallucinate. None of us really knew what to make of the strange ‘woman in the kitchen’ she kept seeing.
My mother passed away shortly thereafter. About six or seven months later my father announced that he had met a new woman and that he really liked her. Time went by and one day my father told me he was going to ask his new girlfriend to marry him.
I had never met the lady before and not knowing who she was I wanted to be sure if she would be the right person for him. What if she was just trying to take advantage of him? But this time my psychic abilities let me down. For some reason I just could not pick up on who this woman was that my father was planning to marry. This is something that sometimes happens to psychics when they try to read for themselves, or for the people close to them.
Losing Touch With Our Departed Loved Ones
Some people have at least one long-standing friendship from their early childhood years. During your elementary years, the friendship grew to a soft and accepting duality that you easily embraced.
As the time progressed, the ‘best buddies’ syndrome only became stronger, as you melded into the somewhat trying years of early adolescence and puberty. It created an easy belief that this camaraderie would last for the entire duration of your earthly existence. You believed that you would be in each other’s lives forever!
These friendships lend itself to a sense of comfort that helps us deal with the trials and tribulations that young lives normally must endure.
The next thing you know, as you both matured and progressed further in life, your best friend found herself a wonderful life partner, they moved away from your area. But you both vowed to stay in touch and keep the friendship intact, just as it was when you were in your formative years.
At first all was well. You wrote, emailed, texted, phoned, sent the birthday and holiday gifts. You did whatever had to be done to keep those lines of communication open. If all went well, you both did your fair share.
In time, the calls became less frequent, the disconnect between you began to widen, as life took on a unique format for each of you. It is not that you feel less love and affection for each other, it is only that life has a way of moving forward into new and challenging directions. You will always be dear and cherished friends to each other, you will always care about the needs and concerns in each other’s lives, but life moves on.
This narrative is no different if your adored friend and confidant has since left this earthy existence and moved on the other side. We can have clear and constant communication from a loved one that has passed on. Their spirit still has great attachment to those they left behind.
The Pagan Origins Of Valentine’s Day
Did you know that the Valentine’s Day that many people all over the world will be celebrating today, has its origins in pagan rituals of the past? This is in fact true of many of our modern holidays. But how did we get our modern day cards, cupids, and hearts?
In ancient Rome, the Festival of Lupercalia was annually celebrated on February 15th. As with similar Roman holidays, such as Ostara (Easter), this was a time to celebrate fertility and love. The deities honored were Lupercus, Patron of Shepherds; Juno, Goddess of Marriage; as well as Pan, a pastoral god who came to be regarded in Roman times as the representative of paganism and the personification of all nature.
In a festival custom that survives to this day in the form of valentine’s cards, young men would randomly draw the names of eligible women from a jar or urn. In the Middle Ages, Emperor Claudius II believed single men made better soldiers so he declared marriage illegal. As a concession, he encouraged temporary romances.
Drawing the name of a lady during the festival determined who a soldier’s partner would be for that coming year. He would then wear her name on his sleeve for the rest of the festival. This gave rise to the saying “wearing your heart on your sleeve.” Whether or not they also exchanged flowers, candy or gifts is uncertain.
It is also interesting to note that Cupid, the son of the love goddess Venus, was not originally linked specifically with this festival, even though he is associated with it today.Venus, it turns out, was particularly fond of red roses and this custom still survives after 2,000 years. As for the symbolism of the heart, this is also an ancient image found across many cultures, including Greco-Roman, Indian, and Meso-American. Instead of romantic love, it was often used to represent rebirth, purity, and spiritual love.
Walk In Faith As You Move Forward
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” I have relied on the words of this verse from 2 Corinthians for most of my life with much success, no matter how tough times have been.
What does it mean to walk in faith, and not by sight? Well, it means to keep going and to keep your faith in God, Spirit, a Higher Power, even when you are not sure of where exactly you are headed.
This past year these words could not have been more relevant. It has been very difficult for all of us, especially for those who have lost loved ones. Sadly, in our day and age, when a loved one passes, we don’t always get the support we need in order to get through the loss and get the help we need to move forward.
Processing grief on your own is no easy task. First we have to accept that our loved one is not with us in the physical sense anymore, but their soul is always with us. They will tell us that they are still here, but they do not want us to have an unhappy life, they don’t want us to be alone.
In our soul contract one of us agrees to leave before the other, whether it is a parent, husband, wife, child, sibling, whomever it may be, and that the one left behind would be experiencing what it means to endure such a loss.
As we struggle to move forward, people might say, why aren’t you feeling better yet? Time to get over it. Life goes on. Why are you still so sad? Well, it just doesn’t work that way, and anyone who has experienced such a loss understands that it takes a lot of time for the heart to truly heal.
I lost my husband of 31 years a long time ago. You don’t ever get over it completely, but it does get easier with time. It’s a step-by-step process, and having people that support you means so much to help you get through.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.