sensitive
Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist
I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.
I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.
Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.
The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.
Operating Your Light – The Lightworker’s Mission
Lightworkers are souls who have a positive mission to Earth, to change its energy. Lightworkers are meant to eliminate destructive energies, and spread light and love everywhere on the planet.
But the life of a Lightworker is not a stress-free destiny. We live in very challenging times and Lightworkers aim to keep the light energy on Earth in balance. They have come to this planet to help move human consciousness to a greater level of awareness.
Lightworkers are energetically very powerful, and they have an inborn ability to heal and make others feel comfortable and safe. They are often just ordinary people: mothers, students, cashiers, road workers, and janitors. They are anyone who dedicates their life to bring more light into this world.
A Lightworker is likely to experience a momentous spiritual awakening, sometimes prompted on by a traumatic incident. Once they are awakened to the purpose of their mission, it is usually impossible for them to go back to their former way of life. There is a new sensation that things will never ever be the same, therefore they typically make the necessary changes and adjust. Their awareness and realization shifts, and a new mission is in place. Newly awakened Lightworkers appear to be talented enough to immediately make these immense life changes.
Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.
For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.
It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.
Emotional Self-Care Through Daily Spiritual Practice
For those that are highly sensitive, including psychics, mediums, healers and empaths, awareness and self-care are critical to our overall well-being. If you are an individual that fits into this group and you are not doing daily maintenance on your emotional well-being and spiritual body, then you are leaving the gate wide open for an attack that can not only impact your emotions, but also your mental and physical health. This maintenance is achieved primarily through a daily spiritual practice.
Spiritual practice can be anything from prayer to meditation and is defined as the regular performance of actions and activities for the purpose of inducing spiritual experiences and cultivating spiritual development. Simply put, spirituality is the way you choose to find meaning, hope and inner peace in your life.
If you already adhere to a specific faith, tradition or religion, wonderful, but be certain that you are taking time each day to actively engage with your beliefs. Why is this important? Research has shown that those that engage in a regular spiritual practice live longer, and are healthier mentally and physically.
Sacred Space
Have you noticed that a certain physical space can influence how we feel? How can a room affect us in this way? Well it’s all about energy. When you walk into a room and people have had a fight there, or received some awful news that may have caused great sadness, we tend to pick up on the energy. We often sense it, without really knowing why we are suddenly feeling angry, sad, or drained.
One of the scripts that I use with hypnotherapy clients is to visualize your own sacred space and then picture yourself inside that space. Just thinking about such a space, where you feel safe, happy and calm, can help to relieve anxious feelings for most people.
There are also just some spaces that seem to promote a sense of belonging and trust that everything is okay. For some people their sacred space may be a certain place in their home, while for others it is simply outside in nature. It doesn’t really matter where your sacred space is, as long as you feel good inside it.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Mirror-Touch Synesthesia (MTS)
Science is catching up with the empath, literally. Recently I came across a fascinating book titles Mirror Touch by Dr. Joel Salinas, a Harvard trained researcher and neurologist at Massachusetts General. It explores the phenomenon of Mirror-touch synesthesia (MTS) – a rare neurological trait that causes someone to feel the emotional and physical experiences of other people.
The word synesthesia means joined perception, or to blend the five senses. Science recognizes over 80 types of synesthesia.
Because of Dr. Salinas and other brave professionals, science is sitting up and taking notice and actually exploring the brain and how it functions in individuals with these traits. Dr. Salinas uses his ability of feeling the emotional and physical pain of his patients to treat their symptoms, as if they were his own. The experience for him and others like him is challenging and draining.