self-compassion
Now Is The Time To Celebrate Life!
The time has come to recognize how far we have come and celebrate the sheer joy and privilege to be alive. Although Covid-19 is still around, and I personally know several people who are just now recovering from the illness, we are in a much better position now than a year or two ago. We have a lot to be grateful for as we start to work our way towards the future.
So, let’s celebrate! While still taking appropriate precautions, it is wonderful to be able to go out again, eat in restaurants and shop inside stores. A feeling of lightness is everywhere these days, with people really appreciating the ability to get back to some semblance of normal.
I see people smiling and laughing again while they are out and about, doing their daily errands, meeting friends, and attending functions and events. It seems even strangers are friendlier and more open to positive conversation and a more optimistic outlook nowadays. What a welcome change!
It is particularly satisfying to focus on and reconnect in person with the people who are important in our lives and make us feel happy. This year Mother’s Day was especially meaningful for many of us. It is always a beautiful opportunity to showcase the love for our mothers, both those who are still with us in this life, as well as those in spirit.
However, spirit impresses on me that honoring our mothers should happen more consistently than just one day per year. Each May, many of us resolve to show our love and respect all year through. So, how are we doing so far? Are we still honoring our mothers long after her special day is over?
A quick call, some surprise flowers, a little gift for ‘no reason’ are all lovely gestures that don’t take a lot of time or money, but can mean the world to mom, or stepmom, grandma or other maternal role-models who have touched our lives.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The True Meaning Of Inner Peace
What does the word ‘peace’ mean to you? Well, the true meaning of this word came to me recently in an unusual way, while I was doing a psychic reading.
The client I was reading for told me at one point in our conversation that he was finally “at peace.” All of a sudden, I felt as if I was sucked into a time warp. When he said the word peace in that context, it was like my own past went into this time machine and emerged in the present. It felt to me as if spirit was using this client’s words to get my attention about my own personal life.
In recent years things have been difficult in my own family life, especially around Christmas, because I have not seen my son in many years. It has been challenging for me and everyone around me.
I made the classic mistake. We tend to think that if we focus very hard on avoiding something negative, we might block it or prevent it from entering our life. We believe this is the best way to control the outcome of what could happen to us in the future. Ironically, this is often the reason why we attract more negative things into our lives.
We also tend to think that ‘being at peace’ only means to eliminate and overcome stress in our lives. Or we think it merely helps us to sleep better. I have always known that if I try to live in a more a stress-free world in my own mind, I would feel better about my life in general. But I never considered peace to be a tool to use for finding a better way to deal with not seeing my son.
In life we have many potholes to avoid and many mountains to climb, and if we look to truly have peace in our life we need to come to place of deeper acceptance and letting go, instead of merely trying to be stress-free. True inner peace is a powerful medicine that everyone can use every day.
The Fierce Journey To The Heart Of The Goddess
There are many divine beings around us throughout our lifetime. When I do a reading, a variety of angels, spirit guides, ascended masters, and goddess archetypes may show up to lend their wisdom, love, and guidance to my clients, for whatever situation they are going through.
Not only do we have guardian angels constantly with us, but we also have various ‘inner band’ and ‘outer band’ spirit guides who interchange through different periods and cycles in our lifetime. We also have deities or higher-level beings with us during certain times.
Recently I have had many encounters with the goddess Kuan Yinin during readings. She is the Buddhist bodhisattva associated with compassion and was first known as the ‘goddess of mercy’ among Jesuit missionaries in China. Guanyin, Guan Yin or Kuan Yin, is short for Kuan-shi Yin, meaning she who ‘observes the cries of humanity.’
She is a popular goddess in Chinese folk religion and worshipped in many communities and cultures all over the world. In the mid-17th century outlawed Christians in Japan created statues of the Catholic Virgin Mary disguised as Kuan Yin, known as the ‘Maria Kannon.’
I have always associated her with compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, but I was recently reminded that Kuan Yin rides a dragon! This makes a lot of sense to me, now that I have examined her legend more closely.
Kuan Yin is teaching us by example. To arrive at a place of compassion and kindness, we must first piece through some uncomfortable feelings of anger, sadness, and fear, to arrive at the ‘heart of the goddess.’ Kuan Yin rides her dragon of fierce bravery through stormy waters and scorching fires. She follows through with the journey to a place of completion and does not avoid the challenges that confront her along the way.
The Spiritual Aspect Of Physical Ailments
As a medical Reiki master and teacher, I have come to understand that there is often a spiritual aspect to almost every illness, pain or symptom that comes up in the physical body. When we are not in alignment with our spiritual self, it can create imbalances in many aspects of our health and wellness.
Note that I always recommend seeking and following professional medical advice. Despite the possible underlying metaphysical and spiritual aspects of any illness or disease, you must never assume that the intervention of a registered medical practitioner is not needed. Always seek medical advice if you are not feeling well, and do not stop using whatever medication and treatments have been prescribed for you without consulting your doctor. It could save your life.
What I can however recommend is to supplement your conventional medical treatment with energy work and other spiritual healing practices. The Eastern practice of Reiki is something you can use effectively to compliment your western medicine treatment.
Reiki is an energy healing modality that brings our chi into alignment. Chi is the energy of life itself. It is an electromagnetic energy which flows through everything in creation. Reiki brings the chi of the body, mind, and spirit back into alignment and can reveal which areas need to be worked on, or released, or simply acknowledged.
Here are a few examples of common spiritual meanings behind some of our ailments. Headaches are often associated with self-criticism and fear. They are also a source of feeling invalidated in some way and often aimed at the self. The solution is to start affirming how amazing you are, how divinely perfect you are, how much you love yourself. The best affirmation you can say is:
I love myself unconditionally. I am perfectly perfect as I am.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.