self-compassion
Forgiveness Is Choosing To Take Back Your Power
Ah, forgiveness! Such a misunderstood concept. For many people, forgiveness, as noble as it may sound, is very difficult, even impossible.
Sometimes certain wrongs are so grave to us that the offender doesn’t deserve forgiveness in our eyes. There is also a misconception that forgiving someone is tantamount to excusing or justifying their terrible actions. But forgiveness is not about absolving someone of responsibility. Instead, it is a powerful, personal act of release and healing.
When we forgive someone, whether they’ve hurt us emotionally, betrayed our trust, or even caused us physical harm, we’re not letting them off the hook.
We are not condoning their actions or giving them permission to repeat those offenses. Rather, we are choosing to free ourselves from the weight of resentment, pain, and bitterness that binds us to them and their past actions.
Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to move forward without the burden of past grievances and with an open heart, free of resentment.
By forgiving, we determine for ourselves that the transgressor’s actions and the memory of their misdeeds will no longer hold us hostage or march with us into the future.
While we may not be responsible for what happened to us in the past, we are responsible for how we choose to carry the memory of it into the future. This is the power of forgiveness: it gives us the strength to embrace our present reality with clarity, compassion, and freedom. It also transforms our future, for it is ultimately a karmic choice that will shape our destiny in ways we will only understand much later in this life and beyond.
The Essential Spiritual Practice Of Self-Love
The first person each of us is meant to love is ourselves. But somewhere along the way, many of us forget or overlook this essential form of love.
In a world that tends to reward judgment and criticism while valuing perfectionism and material success, many of us become estranged from our own worth and divine essence by falling into these societal patterns of self-judgment and negativity.
To make matters worse, what most people caught in this web of self-criticism do not realize is that unconditional self-love is the very foundation of our soul journey in this lifetime. In fact, it is the essential spiritual practice for a more joyful, deeply meaningful existence and a cornerstone of our spiritual evolution.
We often find ourselves caught up in self-doubt, judgment, and the pursuit of external validation. These patterns hinder our connection to our true essence and limit our ability to radiate divine love and compassion. Embracing unconditional self-love frees us from these limitations and allows us to step into our authentic power.
This journey begins with self-awareness and compassion. By observing our thoughts and feelings without judgment, we can identify the limiting beliefs and negative self-talk that have shaped our perception of ourselves. With gentle understanding, we can release these self-imposed chains and replace them with affirmations of self-worth and acceptance. When we practice self-compassion, we create a safe space for ourselves to heal and grow, embracing our imperfections as part of our unique journey.
How To Embrace Your Shadow Self
Most people tend to shy away from acknowledging their dark or “shadow” side when it comes to spirituality.
In fact, the tendency to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of the self is due in large part to our religious or spiritual background. Throughout history, most traditions have encouraged people to suppress, deny, or transcend their human flaws and shortcomings in favor of higher ideals such as purity, salvation, or enlightenment.
This reluctance to face the shadow within continues to this day, with modern spiritual and metaphysical communities often favoring light, love, and positivity while largely ignoring the messy, difficult, and painful aspects of the human experience.
But by avoiding the shadow within, we deny ourselves the opportunity for a deeper understanding of our soul’s purpose and untapped possibilities for personal and spiritual growth.
According to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist who pioneered the concept of the “shadow” in psychology, “one is not enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Enlightenment isn’t about avoiding the shadow. Instead, it’s about facing it and integrating it into our being.
When we face the shadow within, we reclaim parts of ourselves that hold immense power, creativity, and insight. By delving into the deeper truths of our shadow selves, we can unravel the unconscious patterns that dictate our lives, allowing for true healing, transformation, and enlightenment.
How Venus Debilitation Impacts Your Love Life
As we find ourselves in the midst of the annual Venus debilitation transit until September 18, it’s important to understand how this cosmic event tends to affect our love lives and relationships.
In astrology, debilitation refers to a planet being in a weaker or less favorable position in the zodiac, which affects its ability to express its natural qualities. When a planet is debilitated, it is limited in the expression of its positive qualities and may instead exhibit more challenging qualities. This concept is a key element in Vedic astrology (Jyotish), which emphasizes the dignity of the planets based on their positions in the zodiac.
Venus is considered weak in the sign of Virgo. Virgo, an earth sign ruled by Mercury, is associated with practicality, analysis and critical thinking. These qualities conflict with Venus’ natural inclinations toward love, harmony, pleasure, and artistic expression. This period can bring emotional instability, communication breakdowns and a need for introspection in your relationships.
But while a Venusian weakening is usually seen as a challenging or negative time for love and relationships, it can actually be a blessing in disguise. This cosmic event forces us to look deeper into the dynamics of our relationships and helps us identify areas that need attention or improvement.
When Venus is weakened, it strips away illusions and forces us to confront the realities of our romantic lives. By facing these truths, we have the opportunity to address unresolved issues, break unhealthy patterns, and communicate more honestly with our partners. This introspection can lead to a greater understanding of what we truly need and value in our relationships, paving the way for more authentic and meaningful connections.
Letting Go Of Guilt
We all like to be seen as good people, and it can be deeply unsettling when others perceive us otherwise. When we find ourselves in a disagreement with a dear friend or colleague and take the blame for something we’re not responsible for, it’s natural to feel unhappy.
Spirit teaches that while it’s important to own our actions and the roles we play in conflict, guilt only serves to amplify feelings of remorse. If we allow guilt to fester, we may begin to believe that we are “bad” people who do not deserve happiness and success.
This is far from the truth. We are human, and human beings have the ability to change. Our actions may not always be right, but that doesn’t mean we are inherently bad or deserving of punishment.
Making mistakes is part of being human, and sometimes we need to adjust our responses, especially in challenging situations, in order to grow and improve. Spirit suggests that this is a much healthier perspective.
However, taking this “healthy approach” is often easier said than done. We’ve grown up in a world where elders, peers, and society define what is good and bad – even when they’re not always right. This can lead us to judge ourselves harshly and feel unnecessary guilt.
Many traditional spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of forgiveness, both of oneself and of others. In Christianity, for example, the concept of repentance is central; believers are encouraged to confess their sins, seek divine forgiveness, and then release their guilt, trusting that God’s grace has absolved them.
Begin By Loving Yourself Unconditionally
The first person each of us learns to love is ourselves. And that’s exactly how it should be, although many of us seem to forget this fundamental truth as we navigate the complexities of life.
But if we don’t cultivate self-love, how can we expect to show genuine love and care for anyone else?
In our society, love is often misunderstood as an abstract “thing” that we either have or don’t have. This view is fundamentally flawed. Love is not just a passive state or a fleeting emotion; it’s an active, conscious choice. We must make self-love an integral part of our daily thoughts and actions.
Unfortunately, our culture is often harsh, judgmental, and narrow-minded. This societal backdrop can deeply affect our self-perception, making it easy to forget how to love ourselves. Many people experience moments of self-doubt or feel less than perfect.
This self-criticism can snowball and lead us to constantly put ourselves down. But this doesn’t have to be our reality. The foundation of all healthy relationships – romantic or otherwise – is unconditional self-love.
So how do we cultivate this essential self-love? It begins with simple affirmations. Remember that you are you – and that’s more than enough. Create a mantra that resonates with you and repeat it regularly. When you’re comfortable, try speaking directly to your reflection in the mirror. It may feel awkward at first, but it’s a powerful way to reinforce positive self-esteem.
Self-Charity Is Your Spiritual Responsibility
Charity truly begins at home. To be truly charitable to others, we must first be kind and generous to ourselves.
Whether we view “charity” as giving alms to the poor, showing kindness to strangers, or extending non-judgment in times of questionable behavior, it is imperative that we first take care of our own needs. Why? Because we cannot freely and easily give to others what we have not given to ourselves.
Our true nature as incarnated spirit beings is to be loving, kind, and giving. However, it is our spiritual duty to take care of ourselves first so that we can offer more to others and make a real difference in the world.
Self-charity, or prioritizing our own needs before helping others, involves several key components.
Self-awareness is critical, requiring regular self-reflection and mindfulness to stay in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical states. Prioritizing self-care through activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga is essential.
Mindful time management helps balance work, rest, and play, ensuring we don’t overcommit and have enough downtime to recharge.
Emotional management is essential and includes healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, and protecting our time, energy, and resources help us manage our lives effectively. Seeking support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, ensures that we don’t carry burdens alone.