resentment
Apologies From The Other Side
Departed loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.
For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.
I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.
As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
A Sense Of Wonder – A Message From My Guides
We observe sometimes that individuals can be quick to settle into ruts. The day-to-day routines of school, work and family often become repetitive and, dare we say… monotonous at times.
During these mundane periods of discontent, people often focus on themselves, and their lack. They will complain about being overworked and underpaid. Whether professionally or personally, they often feel under-appreciated and under-acknowledged. Stress and resentment can start to build.
In order to alleviate stress, you already know that there are many options from which to choose. Whether people get into a daily habit of deep breathing, visualization, meditation or various forms of exercise, the body becomes transformed and stress is dissipated for the time being.
Rather than just staving off bubbling-under-the-surface irritation and potential health issues, we recommend taking things a step further. Most people have heard the phrase, “Stop and smell the flowers!” Well, whether you prefer to cultivate the soil or be an observer, it is vitally important to redevelop a new sense of wonder in the garden of your life.
Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child
I walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.
In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.
In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.
Forgiveness – Letting Go To Be Free
Think for a moment of all the heavy emotional burdens we tend to carry: resentment, anger, jealousy, vengeance, hatred. When we carry all that baggage, in some cases for years at a time, our mind, body and soul suffer the consequences. It can do a lot of harm over time, since these emotions are associated with very powerful negative energy! The good news is, there is a simple and effective way to leave all of it behind: the miracle of forgiveness.
True forgiveness is not just about our relationship to others. It begins with forgiving ourselves. If you were to take an honest inventory of your outlook on life as it stands right now, what would that be? Are you often judgmental, bitter or harsh on yourself and others? It’s time to offer some forgiveness. Continue reading