psychological challenges
Struggling to Make A Decision?
One of the most common themes in psychic readings is the struggle to make a choice or decision. People often come to me for a reading because they are seeking a broader perspective or an assessment of their situation.
Whether their struggle is about love, health, finances, career, business or relocation, I have found the answers from spirit and their guides usually fall into three categories. So, here are my top three spirit-guided recommendations for making difficult life decisions:
Take Some Time Out
Most important decisions do not require an immediate response, even of it may appear to. Take some time to clear your head and think things through. Take a walk, focus on something else, sleep on it, or even just taking a deep breath.
Studies have shown that when we are in the stress response mode we are unable to access parts of our brain that think creatively and logically. Moreover, relaxing your body and mind, and stepping away from the sense of urgency and stress response, will allow you to create space for your intuition to speak up.
Do what you can to relax so you can access those two important aspects of decision making: the problem-solving mind, and your inner guidance.
Tune Into Your Inner Wisdom
Once you have calmed down the physiological stress response you are ready to ‘tune in.’ A great way to do this is to take a deep breath and call upon the wise part of you that already knows the answer to every challenging situation.
Go within and ask that you be shown the path that is the highest and best for all involved and be open to the answers you receive. These can come immediately, or over the next few days. Pay attention and see what signs you see in the form of overheard conversations, billboards, songs on the radio, angel numbers, dreams, gut feelings, and so forth. These are many ways spirit communicates messages to us, so keep an open mind and be aware.
Turn Up The Music Of Your Soul
As have been pondering the miracle of sound and music lately. During these times of uncertainty, I have a collection of songs in my memory bank that I can easily call upon for inspiration. I use many of these songs to jump start my days.
Long after a popular song has been sung, whether it is a familiar hymn, a spiritual mantra, a national anthem, or a Top 40 hit, there is often a residual hum that we hold on to. This constant reminder, time and time again, brings us back to the original song, striking a chord with those emotions that were first charged by the lyrics and the melody.
Music lodges itself in our memories and can be brought forth at any time without actually hearing the tune itself. Sound or hearing is also said to be the final sense to leave as we depart this life. Kahlil Gibran, the great Lebanese writer and author of The Prophet, wrote “music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife.”
Growing up, I loved all types of music. My eclectic taste was universal and reflected artists from a broad spectrum of genres. I was also fortunate that my metropolitan city was host to artists from all over the world. And thanks to my older brother, whose work in entertainment law made him familiar amongst promoters and musicians alike, I was blessed to gain entre to many of these concerts, including backstage passes.
My favorite acts packed up their instruments from crowded cities and remote villages of the Far East and Africa, making many sacrifices to cross the Atlantic, and often shared between sets the perils of their journey. I likened their sound to ethereal gold, so precious that it would stay with me forever.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
The Wisdom Of The Cuckoo
Over the past year, I have become fascinated with birds, particularly thrushes. They are small to medium-sized ground birds that feed mostly on insects and fruit. My interest began with the American robin, but soon branched out to other thrushes worldwide, such as the fieldfare, the Eurasian blackbird, and olive thrush of Southern Africa.
One peculiar species I accidentally stumbled upon is the well-known, and also notorious cuckoo. Apart from being famous as the key feature in ornate wooden clocks from Germany, the cuckoo is also infamous for being a ‘parasitic’ bird that lays its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Yes, the cuckoo does not raise its own young. Instead, it takes advantage of other bird parents by laying in their nests. Once the egg hatches, the cuckoo chick attempts to push the other bird species’ eggs out of their nest, thus monopolizing the surrogate parents’ energy. The cuckoo chick typically also grows much bigger than the natural offspring of its adopted parents.
Watching some videos of cuckoos online, I became aware of many negative comments on YouTube about these amazing birds. Many folks apparently choose to regard the cuckoo as a devious villain of the natural world. However, I don’t see it that way at all.
Being a co-parent myself, who had to depend on my ex-husband to provide much of the care for my two children when they were younger, due to my personal health challenges after a near-death experience (NDE), I feel empathy for the cuckoo’s eccentricity and the unusual value it brings to the animal kingdom.
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.