psychological challenges
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
The Wisdom Of The Cuckoo
Over the past year, I have become fascinated with birds, particularly thrushes. They are small to medium-sized ground birds that feed mostly on insects and fruit. My interest began with the American robin, but soon branched out to other thrushes worldwide, such as the fieldfare, the Eurasian blackbird, and olive thrush of Southern Africa.
One peculiar species I accidentally stumbled upon is the well-known, and also notorious cuckoo. Apart from being famous as the key feature in ornate wooden clocks from Germany, the cuckoo is also infamous for being a ‘parasitic’ bird that lays its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Yes, the cuckoo does not raise its own young. Instead, it takes advantage of other bird parents by laying in their nests. Once the egg hatches, the cuckoo chick attempts to push the other bird species’ eggs out of their nest, thus monopolizing the surrogate parents’ energy. The cuckoo chick typically also grows much bigger than the natural offspring of its adopted parents.
Watching some videos of cuckoos online, I became aware of many negative comments on YouTube about these amazing birds. Many folks apparently choose to regard the cuckoo as a devious villain of the natural world. However, I don’t see it that way at all.
Being a co-parent myself, who had to depend on my ex-husband to provide much of the care for my two children when they were younger, due to my personal health challenges after a near-death experience (NDE), I feel empathy for the cuckoo’s eccentricity and the unusual value it brings to the animal kingdom.
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
Spirit Will Guide You Through Life’s Murkiest Fog
This time of year, I am usually way too busy to spend much time relaxing on my porch, but today, I just felt it was high time for some ‘me time.’ Yes, psychics and mediums tend to be great at giving guidance to others about the necessity for taking some ‘me time,’ but not so good about following our own advice.
It is always so calm and peaceful to just rock away in my favorite chair on the porch, feeling the energy of the ocean. It is a wonderful time for me to meditate and connect with my spirit guides and loved ones in spirit.
Looking out over the ocean, I observed some ‘sea smoke’ over the water. Sea smoke, also known as ‘frost smoke’ or ‘steam fog,’ is a type of fog that arises when extremely cold air moves over warmer water.
The sea smoke can become so dense that it is impossible for sailors to clearly see all the boats and yachts on their moorings. This is when one hears the tugboat’s foghorn guiding the big tankers safely to their destination. Although it is a strange, eerie sound, it is also reassuring to know the boats can find their way through the sea smoke.
As I came out of meditation, I noticed the sea smoke had finally started to lift. I could now see the red tugboats and the sun was peeking through the clouds. It looked like a slice of heaven to me.
Then the thought came to me how symbolic this beautiful sight was of life’s challenges and how we can overcome adversity more easily with the support and guidance of spirit.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
A Time For Mindful Reflection
As the leaves begin to fall and the weather changes, I am reminded that change is a natural part of life. As the seasons change, it is natural for us to also shift and adapt, as our ancestors did for millennia.
Many years ago, a martial artist reminded me that when facing a difficult challenge in life that we are not able to avoid or change, we can still alter our view of the situation and find new meaning and resolution. What seems like the harshest challenges in our lives are often blessings in disguise. It often gifts us the opportunity to move forward and grow by changing that which no longer serves our true purpose and highest good.
We are living in an extraordinary time where natural forces are increasingly reminding us to become more responsible custodians of the environment that hosts our species. We must also become better stewards of the glorious physical temples that house our souls. The key to this is mindfulness. By adopting a mindful lifestyle, greater planetary care and self-care becomes second nature to us, and both our own lives and the world we live in will benefit exponentially.
Mindfulness allows us to be present in each moment, appreciating the beauty of constant change and the natural cycles of life even as it happens. When we become still and centered, we connect more deeply with ourselves and the world around us.
An endless array of spiritual practices and self-care endeavours, such as prayer, meditation, gratitude journaling and charitable volunteering can help us find peace despite any great change or challenge that may be confronting us. Make the effort to find your own desired outlet for connecting to your inner peace, as this undertaking will lead to a lasting fulfilment and joy that you can hold on to at any time throughout your lifetime. Continue reading