life experience
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
Spiritual Awareness Belongs To Everyone
The other day, while eating breakfast with my family, my son teased me by calling me a ‘boomer.’ Annoyed, I looked up from my phone and asked him why he said that? Apparently, I was holding my phone ‘incorrectly’ and I had the nerve to gingerly scroll the menu with my pinky finger in the air!
“Mom, you are holding the phone like an old lady, squinting your eyes to see the screen, because you’re a boomer.”
“Well excuse me, Mr. Gen Z,” I replied, trying not to laugh. “You have it all wrong, as I happen to be a proud member of Generation X. I was not born during the time of the ‘baby boomers.’
This brought up a family discussion about younger generations acting as if they are so ‘woke,’ and automatically assuming their parents and grandparents are ignorant or behind the times. Meanwhile it seems most younger people are not necessarily as aware and informed as they’d like to believe they are.
I remember when I was young adult, thinking that my parents and grandparents were ‘square’ and did not possess all the wisdom they seemed to claim they had. So, to be fair, I displayed the same youthful arrogance or pomposity back then that my son did at the breakfast table.
While I was doing the breakfast dishes, the conversation got me thinking about humanity and how we have evolved as a species. When does change in behavior really occur and what is it that makes a person spiritually aware and truly wise? What is spiritual awakening and what does the term mean to most people?
Many spiritual seekers use the term ‘awakening’ loosely to refer to an inner epiphany or a change in personal consciousness that makes one ‘more special’ or ‘superior to others,’ but I don’t think true awakening is anything like that.
The Gift Of Kindness
I was thinking today of the many beautiful acts of kindness people have shown me since my husband passed away last year. And then, some song lyrics from the movie, The Sound of Music, came to mind:
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.
Yes, perhaps I did some good somewhere in my life, and now I am getting some of it back, tenfold, or more!
There was a period of time, after his sudden death, when it felt as if I was carried by the locals here in Spain. I was pretty much told what to do and not just offered help. For example, when I got the news of his passing from the policeman who answered his phone at the car crash scene, I immediately went on ‘autopilot’ and attempted to cancel a coffee date I had with one of my best friends. But she simply said, “I am coming, you aren’t going alone to the scene. I am going with you!” And then she saw to everything. I was unable to speak in any language at that point, and fortunately she took over.
Christmas and New Year followed, and again my friend told me, in no uncertain terms: you are going to be with me and my family during this period. I began finding reasons and excuses as to why I might not be able to get to their home, including a possibility of snow, which had us housebound for a few days a couple of years prior. But, they were having none of that. My friend’s husband said, “My tractor will reach you whatever the weather!”
Post-death paperwork is messy in a foreign country. Red tape and bureaucracy can be a nightmare in Spain, if there is no last will and testament! Once again, I was given months of unconditional help by friends and neighbors, as we went from one government department to another to sort out complications. Even the lawyers assisting with the car insurance policy, which went above and beyond their pro bono role in the arrangements. They would accept no further payment, but were delighted when I gifted them each some Doreen Virtue angel cards in Spanish.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
Transitioning With Grace
Autumn always awakens my awareness of transitions. Not only does the entire scenery change color, but each individual leaf on every tree is in a constant shift of shades of greens, golds, yellows, oranges, and reds. With every shifting shade and combination of them, the pattern of the palette continuously alters too.
Then, of course, there is the falling of the leaves – the gradual transition from tree to ground, from full foliage to bareness in various new measures day by day. The rise and set of the sun, and the length of the night and light incrementally inch through their own thresholds as well.
Like the changing season, life is full of transitions. From the moment the soul enters the womb, an endless sequence of them begins. The body develops in a rapid succession of changes, then carries the soul from womb to world.
In the world, the embodied soul then undergoes transition through various ages and stages, growing from infant to toddler to child to adolescent to adult, until gradually winding down to leave the body behind and proceed to the next one or world.
In between, you and I – the embodied souls – may face a multitude of additional transitions in relationships, careers, residences, levels of consciousness, and more. Such transitions – even the best of them – are not easy. They naturally incorporate intervals of instability in the liminal spaces between here and there. Transitions entail shedding, releasing, letting go of the old that was, and then birthing and rebirthing the next and new phase that will be. They empty us out and fill us up, again and again. Transitions are not easy; they may even make us feel queasy!
So, how can we move through the endless array of life’s transitions gracefully? As with all things, there are probably as many ways as there is individuality among people. What I share are simply some of the ones I have found especially helpful.
Bittersweet Is The Fall
Bittersweet is the fall in Maine. Literally. We have a vine here known as the ‘asiatic bittersweet’ (celastrus orbiculatus) that produces attractive red berries. They are yellow at first, but as they mature the outer shell cracks open to expose a magnificent crimson berry with a yellow coat.
Crafters here in New England traditionally use this vine to make holiday wreaths and decorate their homes. It also adorns the roads of Maine with the combination of fall leaves and green of pine trees.
But the bittersweet vine does its name justice in both sweet beauty and bitterness, life and death, because it is not only adored for its versatility as autumn décor this time of year, but it is also widespread, severely invasive and destructive. It suffocatingly twines high up around trees and sprawls over lower plants and vegetation.
It is not a native plant to the region and was originally brought here as an ornamental plant. As the vine begins to spread and grow to the top of trees it becomes the vine of death for the tree as it covers it completely. A bitter vine.
The fall is indeed a bittersweet time of the year. The natural cycle of life and death. The bittersweet time of year is the time to harvest food for the long winter ahead. Get our homes ready for the snow, darkness, and ice of winter.
In Maine the old timers say ‘button up the house’ for winter. The sweet part is people are thinking of the holidays ahead and gatherings with family and friends. There are traditional recipes. Who will make the best pie? Everyone has a favorite. Whose gravy is the most delicious? It’s a time of gratitude for everything that is good in life.