Self-Care
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
The Modern Practice Of Spiritual Healing
In a world driven by science and technology, the value of our spiritual health is rarely recognized or appreciated these days, yet it is an essential aspect of our holistic health and well-being.
The truth is that spiritual healing has been practiced since the beginning of time to promote physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. Our ancestors were much wiser in this regard. They had a holistic view of health and wellness that not only focused on the physical and mental, but also honored the spiritual or metaphysical aspects of our existence.
In ancient Egypt, for example, illness was treated as a battle between good and evil, and magical remedies were used in addition to herbal medicines. In ancient Greece, holism underpinned everything, and the soul, mind, and body were considered one.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, a holistic system practiced for at least 23 centuries, healing is achieved by balancing the yin-yang life force energies that permeate everything in the universe. In the indigenous healing traditions of Native America, holistic health is represented by the four quadrants of the ‘medicine wheel’ or ‘sacred circle,’ namely the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual states of being.
In Christianity, spiritual healing is documented with many references to the healing power of faith and prayer. The Bible also refers to the spiritual gift of healing, and there are several accounts of Jesus performing miraculous healings. In Hinduism, Ayurveda is a five-thousand-year-old Vedic system of medicine that seeks to restore the balance between the body, mind, and spirit.
Turn Your Home Into A Sacred Space
How many times have you needed a timeout, or place of refuge to clear your mind? Seeking peace and balance is vital, with all of the breakdowns and breakthroughs occurring in our personal lives, and the world today. This is why making your home a scared space is essential to your energetic well-being and mental health.
For me, an energetically healthy home is a reflection of who I am spiritually and what I believe. We all have a unique story that is to be expressed in our immediate environment, thus making it holy and sacred.
When you infuse your home or a room with your divine essence, you are creating Heaven on Earth and raising the vibration of the world.
You don’t need to invest a lot of money since simplicity is key.
Declutter
From past experience, the best place to start is by removing all the clutter in your living space that is no longer wanted or needed. Sell it, donate it, or simply toss it, depending on the condition, value and sentiment. This is a fundamental principle in the ancient Chinese tradition of Feng Shui to live in greater harmony with your environment.
By cleansing and purifying the energy in your living environment, you wipe the metaphysical slate clean and allow new inspiration, people and ideas to manifest. Sometimes we become stuck in a recurring cycle or pattern of doing things, until we remove an element, or find another perspective.
Heal Your Toxic Family Legacy With Ancestral Guidance
Our loved ones in spirit are aware of things that we cannot see. Once they have crossed over to the other side, they begin to connect with us through signs and synchronicities, as well as in the dream state, to guide us on our life journey.
One of the life challenges they can assist with is healing generational trauma and breaking the cycle of toxic family abuse. In their new state of higher consciousness, they are now able to clearly see how they may have wronged us while they were here, and how they contributed to a dysfunctional ancestral legacy, often going back many generations.
As part of their own life review and soul evolution process in the afterlife, they want to provide us with insight and guidance, to help us undo some of the mistakes they made and break the family curse of dysfunction and abuse, so that we can be blessed with healing, joy and unconditional love.
I have channeled many readings for clients over the years to offer them this type of guidance from their loved ones and ancestors in spirit. The spiritual guidance they received proved to be of great value in their lives and brought much peace and healing to their families, as well as their romantic relationships and marriages.
Some of the self-care goodies and nuggets of divine wisdom that my clients have received from spirit over the years include:
Mercury Goes Retrograde Today
Mercury goes retrograde today. This astrological phenomenon occurs three to four times per year, when the planet Mercury appears to move backwards through space. Energetically, it can be a period of frustration, error, confusion, and delay, and each cycle lasts about two to three weeks. Mercury retrograde begins again today and will last until September 14th.
In ancient Roman mythology, Mercury is a prominent god who rules business and finance, communication, travel, luck, swindlers, and thieves. He also serves as the guide of souls to the underworld and as a messenger of the gods. He is also known for his ability to take things apart and put them back together again. In astrology, the planet Mercury is therefore associated with communication, intellect, technology, and travel, so all of these aspects of life can be affected when it goes retrograde.
During Mercury retrograde, all aspects of communication, logic and reason can become more difficult and dysfunctional. Misunderstandings and mix-ups are more likely, and we are sometimes less able to think and express ourselves clearly. This can cause problems in our personal and professional relationships. We are also more prone to making mistakes or overlooking important details, leading to frustration and confusion.
Communication systems and technology are also affected by a Mercury retrograde. Digital communication devices and electronics may malfunction or break down, and internet and phone connections may be disrupted, making it more difficult to stay in touch. Travel may also become more challenging during this time, with delays, cancellations, and other unexpected obstacles.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.