wounded healer
Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist
I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.
I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.
Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.
The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.
Healing Your Family Lineage
Have you ever heard a whisper from your ancestors that is clearly guiding you? Sometimes it also comes as a gesture of approval. I have heard my fair share, including one of my dearest family members whispering to me, and calling me by name, as she left her hospital bed at the time of her passing. It was so clear, sacred and spot on! She was letting me know how to deal with issues that would be coming my way after her passing, because she would no longer be there to protect me. And, oh, the validation! It meant so much – far more than my mere words can express. Stemming the flow is indeed observed by our ancestors.
Every lineage has wounds that are passed along throughout generations. The trauma is deeply ingrained in our ancestry. There are no exceptions. Lucky are those of us who have chosen to affect the healing of these imprints. Usually, in a generation, it is the task of the person that is most misunderstood.
If that person is you, it is your sacred task and a path of honor that is earned through hardship on many levels, especially familial relationships. No worries. Your ancestors are guiding you. If you listen closely, you will hear them speak encouragingly. And, be sure to watch for indications of their presence. Indeed, they are witnessing for you.
Operating Your Light – The Lightworker’s Mission
Lightworkers are souls who have a positive mission to Earth, to change its energy. Lightworkers are meant to eliminate destructive energies, and spread light and love everywhere on the planet.
But the life of a Lightworker is not a stress-free destiny. We live in very challenging times and Lightworkers aim to keep the light energy on Earth in balance. They have come to this planet to help move human consciousness to a greater level of awareness.
Lightworkers are energetically very powerful, and they have an inborn ability to heal and make others feel comfortable and safe. They are often just ordinary people: mothers, students, cashiers, road workers, and janitors. They are anyone who dedicates their life to bring more light into this world.
A Lightworker is likely to experience a momentous spiritual awakening, sometimes prompted on by a traumatic incident. Once they are awakened to the purpose of their mission, it is usually impossible for them to go back to their former way of life. There is a new sensation that things will never ever be the same, therefore they typically make the necessary changes and adjust. Their awareness and realization shifts, and a new mission is in place. Newly awakened Lightworkers appear to be talented enough to immediately make these immense life changes.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
When The Empath Becomes An Energy Sponge
I just completed a psychic reading for a long-standing client who is a successful teacher, as well as an empath and psychic in her own right. Despite being highly intuitive and, under normal circumstances, able to make good decisions based on her gut feeling, she was feeling totally at a loss, and in limbo concerning her current circumstances.
She asked me for guidance as to what could be happening to her, because even though her situation is not dire, she described herself as feeling like “a sponge that cannot not absorb any more.” She was feeling no sense of creativity or inspiration, nor any initiative to get the ball rolling for a future move for herself and her family. The Tarot’s Hangman card defines how she felt, as if she was just dangling and not getting anywhere fast.
Both she and her husband had made a big geographical move a few years ago, with the well-being of their children in mind. She was beating herself up, because she also felt responsible for every circumstance her family was experiencing, including her 17 year old daughter, who hasn’t quite yet identified her future career niche. Of course, the additional negative energy of guilt was holding her even more in limbo. To top it all, the schooling of her children and work of her husband requires that she lives and teaches remotely, with a several hours commute away from them, so they can only come together as a family once a fortnight. More guilt! Continue reading
Jealousy Steals Your Serenity
Doing a psychic reading can sometimes trigger unpleasant memories or negative emotions for the psychic professional. But, as unpleasant as our own experiences may have been, they do help us to identify with those individuals who approach us for counsel.
One situation which has cropped up lately relates to jealous friends or family members. More often than not, my client doesn’t have the foggiest idea as to why the jealousy is there at all, especially when they feel they’ve put every effort into sustaining the relationship in question. All friendships and relationships take work, but when we feel that, in return we are getting back bad vibes, or any kind of negativity, it doesn’t feel fair. Continue reading
Do Not Fill Your World With Loneliness
Are you lonely? We all experience times when we actually choose to have some ‘alone time’, but loneliness is not the same as choosing to be alone. Loneliness is being alone, but feeling saddened by it.
My husband is currently in hospital here in Spain and I am in awe of the number of family and friends constantly visiting patients in hospital here. This is encouraged by the doctors as the best aid in speeding up healing. They must know that loneliness is a response to the need to belong. Interpersonal relationships give us emotional health and the basic need to belong is as fundamental as the need to breathe, sleep or eat. Continue reading