wounded healer
The Need For Empath Self-Care
In times of great stress an empath may neglect their own needs in favor of others, and start to lose the unique perspective they bring to the world.
Since most empaths, by their very nature, want to help others, finding a balance between using their gifts, while practicing self-care, can be tricky. Simply put, it’s easy in these times for empathic people to become overwhelmed.
Empaths feel the energies of the world much stronger than others, and can pick up on the subtle changes in the emotions and intentions of those around them. The empath serves as both a mirror and a prism to the world and its energies. Being an empath feels as if your ‘personal filter’ has been turned off, and naturally, there are many things in our noisy, hectic world that can trigger empaths.
Whether it be the chaos of others arguing or fighting; the feeling of getting lost in a crowd; the sense that others are being phony or inauthentic; or just too much on one’s emotional plate all at once; the empath may begin to withdraw, or even shut off from the rest of the world, when it all becomes too much.
Think of an empath’s ability to pick up on energies like a motion-alarm system which is constantly being tripped by any form of movement or activity. In this case the motions are the energies, emotions, and forces which shape our world. The empath has to deal with the stresses of this constant barrage.
Not only is the empath surrounded in modern society by constant incoming sensory stimuli: flickering images, flashing lights, loud music, conversations, and ambient noise, but also moving in though an ocean of all kinds of good and bad energy. Finding time and space to shut off all the noise, and block out all the negative energies, needs to be part of an empath’s daily self-care routine.
Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist
I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.
I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.
Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.
The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.
Healing Your Family Lineage
Have you ever heard a whisper from your ancestors that is clearly guiding you? Sometimes it also comes as a gesture of approval. I have heard my fair share, including one of my dearest family members whispering to me, and calling me by name, as she left her hospital bed at the time of her passing. It was so clear, sacred and spot on! She was letting me know how to deal with issues that would be coming my way after her passing, because she would no longer be there to protect me. And, oh, the validation! It meant so much – far more than my mere words can express. Stemming the flow is indeed observed by our ancestors.
Every lineage has wounds that are passed along throughout generations. The trauma is deeply ingrained in our ancestry. There are no exceptions. Lucky are those of us who have chosen to affect the healing of these imprints. Usually, in a generation, it is the task of the person that is most misunderstood.
If that person is you, it is your sacred task and a path of honor that is earned through hardship on many levels, especially familial relationships. No worries. Your ancestors are guiding you. If you listen closely, you will hear them speak encouragingly. And, be sure to watch for indications of their presence. Indeed, they are witnessing for you.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
When The Empath Becomes An Energy Sponge
I just completed a psychic reading for a long-standing client who is a successful teacher, as well as an empath and psychic in her own right. Despite being highly intuitive and, under normal circumstances, able to make good decisions based on her gut feeling, she was feeling totally at a loss, and in limbo concerning her current circumstances.
She asked me for guidance as to what could be happening to her, because even though her situation is not dire, she described herself as feeling like “a sponge that cannot not absorb any more.” She was feeling no sense of creativity or inspiration, nor any initiative to get the ball rolling for a future move for herself and her family. The Tarot’s Hangman card defines how she felt, as if she was just dangling and not getting anywhere fast.
Both she and her husband had made a big geographical move a few years ago, with the well-being of their children in mind. She was beating herself up, because she also felt responsible for every circumstance her family was experiencing, including her 17 year old daughter, who hasn’t quite yet identified her future career niche. Of course, the additional negative energy of guilt was holding her even more in limbo. To top it all, the schooling of her children and work of her husband requires that she lives and teaches remotely, with a several hours commute away from them, so they can only come together as a family once a fortnight. More guilt! Continue reading
Jealousy Steals Your Serenity
Doing a psychic reading can sometimes trigger unpleasant memories or negative emotions for the psychic professional. But, as unpleasant as our own experiences may have been, they do help us to identify with those individuals who approach us for counsel.
One situation which has cropped up lately relates to jealous friends or family members. More often than not, my client doesn’t have the foggiest idea as to why the jealousy is there at all, especially when they feel they’ve put every effort into sustaining the relationship in question. All friendships and relationships take work, but when we feel that, in return we are getting back bad vibes, or any kind of negativity, it doesn’t feel fair. Continue reading
Do Not Fill Your World With Loneliness
Are you lonely? We all experience times when we actually choose to have some ‘alone time’, but loneliness is not the same as choosing to be alone. Loneliness is being alone, but feeling saddened by it.
My husband is currently in hospital here in Spain and I am in awe of the number of family and friends constantly visiting patients in hospital here. This is encouraged by the doctors as the best aid in speeding up healing. They must know that loneliness is a response to the need to belong. Interpersonal relationships give us emotional health and the basic need to belong is as fundamental as the need to breathe, sleep or eat. Continue reading