trauma healing
Accepting The End Of A Relationship
Don’t resist change, even in love. It is always best to accept things when a relationship ends. Sometimes a door needs to be closed in order for another door to open down the road.
I have seen this in my own personal relationships and those of many of my clients and friends. If it’s meant to be and there is true, everlasting love between two souls, there can never be a permanent goodbye. Rest assured, if you are meant to be with your beloved, they will come back to you, or you will go back to them.
At some point we all experience the pain of saying goodbye to someone we love very much. Experiencing relationship break-up tends to turn our lives upside down. This is especially true when we have to close the door on someone we love very much when we don’t really want the relationship to end.
But if we do it in a way that leaves the door open for them to come back, then maybe we can have a new beginning later. We just have to do the very hard thing of saying goodbye and taking a step back for now. If we refuse to accept that a relationship is over, we only prolong the pain and dysfunction, and make it difficult to heal and grow from the issues that caused it to fail in the first place.
Instead, we should focus on ourselves and our own needs for a while. When we are in a relationship that is not working, it can be easy to neglect our own needs and issues. Accepting the end of a relationship allows us to focus on our own healing and well-being. No matter how hard we try to hold on, it will only make it more difficult to bring healing to the aspects of the relationship failure that need healing.
The Empowered Empath
People are naturally drawn to empaths. They tend to open up and pour their souls out to the empath, instinctively knowing that their secrets are safe and that there will be no judgment or condemnation. This is great, unless you are the empath who is constantly feeling burned out and exhausted from the burden of keeping everyone around you happy, with no one to talk to yourself.
I’ve been doing readings on PsychicAccess.com for more than a decade now, and in that time I’ve had the privilege of reading for many people who are born empaths but were unaware of their innate gifts and abilities. They have since grown exponentially in their awareness and have learned to trust what is at the core of their being.
Not only have they become aware of what makes them so different, they realize that they are not ‘crazy’ or ‘too sensitive’ or ‘imagining it.’ They have been told such things all their lives, but now they can trust their very keen intuition and know that they are usually right on the money.
The moment empaths embrace their true, gifted nature, the gut-wrenching anxiety, tension headaches, and other health problems begin to subside. Their confidence soars. It is wonderful to observe this newfound self-empowerment.
But the openness and courage required to do this kind of soul searching is not easy. It takes determination, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Not to mention the difficulty of cultivating the patience required to learn where and when to say what you feel and know. Sensing the outcome of events or relationships, or more importantly, knowing that something is going on with someone before they know it, can be very challenging.
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.
The Empowering Wisdom Of Forgiveness
Although I consider myself a very spiritual person, forgiveness has not always been one of my strengths. In fact, I used to struggle with forgiving those who had hurt or wronged me.
Fortunately, as I matured in my spiritual evolution, I eventually realized that by not letting go of negative events and experiences in my past, I was only being haunted and held captive by them, which was not serving my highest good.
For several years, I was stuck in a downward cycle of replaying certain past events in my mind, reliving every excruciating detail and allowing the past to negatively influence the present and my future. Over time, it became clear that this issue was holding me back in more ways than I could have imagined.
To find some answers, I decided to shift the focus of my spiritual practice for a few months to consult my guides on this issue. During this time, spirit guided me as follows.
Letting Go
To truly forgive, we must let go of the past. There is no true forgiveness if we still somehow hold on to the smallest regret or resentment. Forgiveness is all, or nothing. There are no half measures or gray areas.
Forgiveness is more than just an emotional healing process, it is also an empowering metaphysical practice. If we do not release something completely, we continue to hold some level of negative energy that continues to affect our current vibration, which diminishes our quality of life and negatively affects our future happiness.
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
Heal Your Toxic Family Legacy With Ancestral Guidance
Our loved ones in spirit are aware of things that we cannot see. Once they have crossed over to the other side, they begin to connect with us through signs and synchronicities, as well as in the dream state, to guide us on our life journey.
One of the life challenges they can assist with is healing generational trauma and breaking the cycle of toxic family abuse. In their new state of higher consciousness, they are now able to clearly see how they may have wronged us while they were here, and how they contributed to a dysfunctional ancestral legacy, often going back many generations.
As part of their own life review and soul evolution process in the afterlife, they want to provide us with insight and guidance, to help us undo some of the mistakes they made and break the family curse of dysfunction and abuse, so that we can be blessed with healing, joy and unconditional love.
I have channeled many readings for clients over the years to offer them this type of guidance from their loved ones and ancestors in spirit. The spiritual guidance they received proved to be of great value in their lives and brought much peace and healing to their families, as well as their romantic relationships and marriages.
Some of the self-care goodies and nuggets of divine wisdom that my clients have received from spirit over the years include:
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.