self-worth
What To Do When A Lost Love Lingers
Many of the readings I do are about love and relationships, and a good percentage of them are about past relationships that continue to linger in the hearts and minds of some callers.
For some people there are often constant, even obsessive thoughts about a former partner, a longing for a second chance, or bitterness and regret for time and energy that now seems wasted. The longer and more intense the relationship, the more battle scars and wounds there often are.
If it was a soulmate or twinflame connection, the aftermath can be especially devastating. The relationship has ended and the connection has been severed in this lifetime. This can be very painful. You know you gave it your all. You hung in there for years, or you made heroic efforts to ensure the survival of the relationship, but it did not work out as you had hoped.
If you are highly sensitive and intuitively aware, you may still be picking up the energy of your former partner, which can be very painful, disturbing and disruptive. Unresolved energetic connections can keep you stuck in a repetitive cycle of repeating the same pattern with that person, or put you on hold, unable to move forward in peace and confidence.
I am often asked, “Is it really over?” or “Does he still have feelings for me?” Of course, the answer depends on the unique circumstances.
Keeping Shining Your Soul Light!
We all have a soul light — a radiant energy within us that’s eternal and uniquely ours. It shines brightest when we’re true to ourselves. Each of us is different for a reason, and when we embrace that — especially when others might not understand — we tap into the magic of who we truly are.
When we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of our own path. We can end up pretending to be someone we’re not, and that’s exhausting. It sets unrealistic expectations and keeps us from letting our true light shine.
Have you ever felt like you don’t fit in? Like you’re just… different? The first step to finding yourself is to step back from trying to fit into other people’s boxes. Sure, it can feel lonely at first, but if you stick with it and trust the process, you’ll find a confidence that’s unshakable. You’ll discover a self-esteem that allows your talents and gifts to flourish.
So many of us get caught up in worrying about what others think. This happens a lot in relationships, especially in the beginning. Maybe you’ve been there: You start dating someone, everything seems great, and then out of nowhere they stop texting or calling. Days go by, maybe even a week, and you wonder, “What did I do wrong?
Our first instinct is usually to blame ourselves. We overthink every little thing, digging up all our insecurities and past hurts. Sometimes it’s like a flood of old memories, bringing back childhood moments or difficult family dynamics. It’s draining, and honestly, it’s not helpful.
Shield Your Dreams From The Naysayers
I’m in the midst of a major shift in my life – a bold leap forward that promises transformative and exciting changes for me and my family.
It is taking a lot of my time and requires a lot of work and personal sacrifice, as there are many moving parts that need to align to make it all happen. However, I know it will work and I trust in spirit’s guidance and divine timing. I’ve successfully navigated similar situations before in my life, so I’m confident it can be done.
As is often the case in these situations, I find myself surrounded by people who are projecting their fears and limitations onto me and my goals. Based on conversations with friends and clients who are supportive and encouraging, this seems to be a common pattern. What is clear to me is that these are people who have chosen to live very different lives from mine.
For example, I have a relative who has always lived in fear and has repeatedly tried to discourage me from every endeavor I’ve ever pursued — almost all of which have been successful. The few that have not worked out for the best I consider valuable life lessons.
I started my first business when I was 26 years old. This family member scoffed at me, saying it was too risky and that I was wasting my time and money. Well, that business ended up paying more than just my bills for over a decade, while many of my peers spent the best years of their lives in soul-destroying dead-end jobs. It allowed me, for example, to buy two houses and several new cars, and best of all, I loved what I was doing!
Reclaim Your Peace And Power With Healthy Boundaries
Saying “no” is one of the most powerful things we can do to maintain our personal and spiritual well-being and energetic balance.
Many of us are caught up in the daily whirlwind of commitments, expectations, and the constant need to meet the demands of others. For those on a spiritual or esoteric path, this can be especially challenging.
The desire to be compassionate and supportive can sometimes blur the lines between compassion and self-neglect. However, one of the most profound spiritual lessons is this: it is okay to say no. In fact, it is imperative!
Knowing when and how to say no is a critical self-care skill that allows you to set healthy boundaries and protect your time, energy, and mental health. Moreover, it is crucial for our spiritual growth and essential for living a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.
Saying no and standing your ground requires recognizing your inherent worth and honoring your personal limits. Too often we stretch ourselves too thin, trying to be all things to all people. This may come from a fear of disappointing others or a belief that our value is in how much we give. Many of us also feel spiritually obligated to be there for others, often because we are so deeply affected by all the struggles and suffering we see in the world around us.
However, when we put the needs of others ahead of our own without balance, we risk depleting our physical, emotional, and spiritual energy. In such a depleted state, we are of no use to anyone.
Everything Happens For A Reason
Challenges, setbacks and disappointments are inevitable in life. Sometimes it can even feel like the entire universe is conspiring against us!
But this perspective is an illusion born of our human experience. Spirit doesn’t desire our failure or suffering. Instead, it seeks to lead us to joy, abundance, and fulfillment.
Many of us, however, fall into the habit of blaming God, Spirit, the Universe, or others for the hardships we face. But to truly grow, we must change this mindset. Instead of dwelling on blame, it’s important to examine the lessons hidden in each challenge. By asking why these situations arose and what we can learn from them, we transform pain into wisdom and setbacks into stepping stones.
Consider the heartache of losing a long-term partner. You may have built a life together – marriage, children, shared dreams – only to wake up one day to abandonment. Questions arise: Why did this happen? What could I have done differently?
It’s important to realize that in most cases these events are not your fault. Free will governs each person’s choices. While her decision to leave may hurt you deeply, it is a reflection of her own path, not your worth. Self-doubt often creeps in, especially for women, as thoughts of inadequacy arise. But self-esteem cannot come from others-it must come from within.
Instead of focusing on what you could have done, consider this: their departure may have been necessary for your growth. Spirit often removes people from our lives to make room for greater blessings. In hindsight, you may realize that staying with that person would have hindered your potential or delayed the arrival of something better.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Butterflies
My grandmother was a poet. When I was a child, she wrote a beautiful poem about me. It was about a fairy girl who spent all her time outside chasing butterflies. The poem had a poignant message:
In time, the pendulum swings,
and you can’t hear the butterfly’s wings.
It was her way of reminding me to hold on to my youthful passion, to nurture the light within, and to resist life’s inevitable disappointments.
This wisdom has stayed with me long after her passing, and in the years since, butterflies have become more than a reminder of her — they’ve become her messengers.
Butterflies often appear in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed, under attack, or grieving a loss. They flutter around me, landing gently on my skin and hovering close as if to whisper a reminder: “Don’t let anyone steal your light.”
These delicate creatures have become symbols of resilience, hope, and the enduring connection between my grandmother’s spirit and my own.
Butterflies hold deep spiritual significance across cultures and belief systems. They are seen as symbols of transformation, freedom, and the soul’s journey.
Their life cycle — from caterpillar to cocoon to winged beauty — mirrors our own processes of growth, healing, and self-discovery. They teach us that even in our most confined and vulnerable states, there is the potential for magnificent change.
Forgiving Yourself Is A Spiritual Necessity
Self-forgiveness is more than just a mental health recommendation – it is a spiritual necessity. It is vital for the spiritually aware person to release guilt, self-blame, and self-criticism, because forgiving oneself is crucial to both personal well-being and spiritual progress. It allows for healing, growth, and the ability to live a more fulfilling and harmonious life.
Failure to forgive ourselves can have profound personal and spiritual side effects. Carrying guilt and self-blame leads to chronic emotional distress and contributes to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Over time, this can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or even chronic illness.
A lack of self-forgiveness undermines self-worth and hinders personal growth and development. Difficulty forgiving yourself also strains your relationships with others, as it can lead to withdrawal, defensiveness, or projecting negativity onto those around you. Without forgiveness, our negative feelings toward ourselves can fester and damage even our most cherished relationships with our loved ones and friends.
Holding onto guilt and self-blame blocks the flow of positive energy through the chakras and hinders spiritual well-being. For example, guilt often stagnates in the solar plexus chakra, affecting one’s sense of personal power. Self-forgiveness is essential for clearing such blockages in the energy field.
Forgiveness is also essential to achieving inner peace and harmony. Without it, one can experience constant inner turmoil and restlessness. When we hold onto guilt, shame, or self-blame, parts of our spiritual essence or inner divinity are suppressed or disconnected. It causes separation from one’s spiritual path or a sense of disconnection from spirit and the divine.