self-expression
Neglecting Your Own Needs Will Destroy Your Relationship
Some people are in really toxic relationships without realizing it. How do you know for sure if you are in a bad relationship? Well, often it is as simple as asking yourself a few basic questions.
Am I safe? Am I truly happy? Do I feel loved and supported? Are my most important needs being met? If you answer no to any of these, you may need to reassess your relationship.
Some people get caught in a dead-end relationship trap. They feel trapped and do not know how to get out of a bad situation. It can be very hard to leave someone you love. But sometimes that is what me must do in order to love ourselves.
A leading cause of failing relationships is often a lack of open, honest communication about our hopes, dreams, fears, and needs. It is very hard sometimes to bring up a subject that is uncomfortable, but remember that you deserve to be happy. It does not serve anyone to put your own needs last.
Self-worth also plays a major role. Do not put your own needs aside because you fear you cannot do better. Stay true to what is most important to you and ask for what you want!
If your current partner cannot meet your needs or refuses to respect your wishes, maybe your future does not align with theirs. Finding the right person is really what you need to do to be true to you and who you are.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
The Divine Magic Of Manifesting
We cannot always control our environment, but we can be an active force in how things play out in our own lives. Through our actions and choices we impact our personal universe, even without any occult practice.
However, this changes once we become aware of our metaphysical ability to manifest, and we realize we have already been doing it our entire life as spiritual beings in human form. And once we become aware of our innate power to manifest we simply need to improve it and have a deeper conversation with the many layers of reality.
Our minds and, in particular, our expectations already influence the world around us. We do this unconsciously every day, and without direction. Sometimes we let our fears run wild and then we create dark mirages that end up taking shape in our material world. Yes, indeed, these are mishaps of our own creation.
We all want to guide, foresee, and control life, but for some of us this possibility has always eluded us. There seems to be too many variables and our judgments appear to lack the clout required to guide even our own most basic wants. Maybe reality is simply too complicated? Perhaps we just need more resolve? Or maybe ‘magic’ may teach us something about that.
The magic of manifesting is a technique or method, as well as a spiritual path. It is a tool for self-discovery, since it rearranges our perceptions of reality and it is a path because it leads us to personal revelations and inner realizations. Furthermore, it assists us in seeing how malleable our life really is, which is unquestionably the first step toward personal transformation.
Magic as an occult tradition has a bad reputation. It may appear that anything related to so-called magic is supposed to be dark and dangerous, even evil, but this is not the case at all. Instead, the magic of manifesting brings our true desires into reality. It is a continuous process that teaches us a lot about our minds. We actually become more aware of our most difficult personal aspects by engaging with the things we desire. In the pursuit of magic we often discover how we are sometimes our own worst enemy.
Renewed Inspiration Through Visualization
Despite the psychic readings we receive, the inspirational books we read, and the seminars we attend, we often tend to find ourselves back at the drawing board for inspiration. Why? I guess we need to inspire ourselves on an ongoing basis.
Clients who visit me for private consultations say they leave me feeling serene and all fired up to take on the world. Many of them also come back every now and again for what one high-powered lady calls her “fix”.
And me? Well, I need to inspire myself on a regular basis, in order to be of any help to anybody else!
Visualization is an excellent way to ‘recycle’ some past moments of inspiration. We can make time in our busy worlds and synthesize all the knowledge and experiences we have gathered, in order to visualize what we want.
By remembering and tapping into that feeling we had when we saw that moving film, attended that life-changing workshop or read that inspirational book, we can apply that intense feeling from a previous experience to what we want to manifest now.
An attitude of gratitude goes a long way too when it comes to manifesting our desires. Thank spirit for all the positives in your life, and you will be surprised to notice the amount you have already manifested and have to be grateful for.
Another helpful technique is to make a visualization board by drawing pictures from your memories, or from magazines, to make a collage which will be your personal vision board. Place it where you spend most of your time. I was given a ‘recipe’ for creating long ago by a colleague.
Ingredients
1. Recognize the higher self (that you are spirit)
2. Decisiveness
3. Acoustics
4. Imagination and creativity
5. Evaluation
6. Approval
7. Experience
Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible ~ Cherie Carter-Scott
Method
1. Recognize that you are spirit and therefore have the capacity to create.
2. Be certain of exactly what you wish to create. Think of how it is going to affect you.
3. Announce it verbally.
4. Visualize it.
5. Decide whether you are pleased with it.
6. Give consent for it to materialize.
7. Step back and admire and enjoy what you have created.
Note: Be sure not to create anything which creates imbalance in your life.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.
True Love Requires Action
My spirit guides have been pointing out as imperative for me to both address and bring to awareness a common theme that I have been noticing in my readings lately. It concerns love, romance and the Law of Attraction, and the importance of taking action when we are on a path towards manifesting a desired relationship.
For example, X wants a relationship with Y. They’ve been talking frequently over several months and have also been on several dates. They really seem to be hitting it off! However, rather than talking directly to Y about how she feels, X calls me for guidance.
But typically the angelic guides will return the responsibility to X in such a reading. Archangel Gabrielle, the Archangel of Communication, will come forward and gently nudge her towards taking personal responsibility by taking action. She will most likely be encouraged to communicate directly with Y herself, and to tell him how she feels about him.
Meanwhile, here I am, caught in the middle. I totally understand the logic of calling a psychic to ‘get a feel’ for what’s energetically going on with the other person, because it is usually scary to be vulnerable, put yourself out there, and have the courage to take that first step in moving a relationship forward.
But I also know that spiritual guidance can only take us so far in life. We also have to take action ourselves and accept personal responsibility for manifesting our desires.
So, my advice from both a spiritual realm and physical world perspective is to never underestimate the power of the mundane! Having a simple and honest conversation to voice your feelings, opinions or concerns can sometimes be the most powerful way to create and attract what you desire in your life.