self-care
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
There Are No Clocks In The Spirit World
I attended a lecture at the Arthur Findlay College of Psychic Research in the United Kingdom many years ago, during which I recall the speaker saying, “There are no clocks and watches in the spirit world.”
He explained further that those of us who do psychic readings must bear in mind that as much as our spirit helpers do their best to give us some indication of time-frames, timing can actually be very tricky.
He also emphasized how we tend to get obsessed with time in our world. While we are constantly racing against the clock, our ‘inner states’ change over time. Sometimes, we may feel that we are beating the clock, and it feels empowering for a while, but there often comes moments when we wish we had more time to ‘just be’ and to feel connected to the very source of our being. To truly feel the state we are in.
When we are fully aware of the state we are in, for example the beginning of depression, we are able to process it and deal with it, instead of ‘chasing our tails’ until our mind and body eventually forces us to stop… and really feel the discomfort!
More importantly, when we return to the spirit world one day, our environment there will not be determined by time, but by the state we are in when we leave our current physical body.
Learning To Trust The Universe
Maybe you have heard someone say you need to trust in the Universe. However, this is not always easy and learning to trust really is an art and a practice, particularly if you are going through a somewhat challenging time. Nevertheless, if you really work on your ability to do this, the results can be so rewarding. It can really benefit you to put your faith in the Universe, and here is how you do it
Surrender To The Flow
Believe in the power of Universal Love. Yes, the Universe really is unconditionally loving and indeed does have your back. Fully taking this on board, will help you to gently surrender to the Universal flow.
Adopt a daily mantra to affirm to yourself, such as, “The Universe totally supports and loves me unconditionally.” By doing so, you will be working with the Universe, to help you attract all that what you need in order to enjoy a full and abundant life, and also place yourself in a position where you can help others do the same.
The Universe should not be seen, however, as a mechanical dispensing system that dishes out a person’s wants and needs to satisfy their every whim. However, it is perfectly okay to work with the Universe to improve your life, as well as help other people do the same.
Meditation Is Easier Than You Think!
No doubt you’ve heard of the many benefits of meditation, both physical and spiritual. But how does one start a meditation practice? It doesn’t have to be intimidating. According to the Zen master and teacher, Shunryu Suzuki, approaching meditation with a beginner’s mindset is actually ideal.
It’s important to clear up a common misperception about meditation. Meditation is not simply ‘thinking of nothing.’ Rather it is a spiritual process in which we learn to center, breathe, and achieve clarity.
Meditation is practiced by cultures all over the world and does not have to be associated with a specific spiritual tradition or religious belief system. It also does not have to involve sitting passively with a ‘blank mind.’ Rather it can be anything from coloring mandalas, to a walking in nature.
So, how does one begin, if you’re new to the practice? Consider the goals you wish to achieve with meditation: stress reduction, taming your thoughts, physical relief from pain, spiritual growth? Tailor your practice to build toward your personal goals. Remember, it’s a journey and not a destination.
Keeping a meditation journal, as you go along, can be very helpful. The most important thing is consistency. Make meditation a part of your daily routine, and ideally at the same time each day.
Once you have the basics in place, it’s time to begin. Choose a pose or stance which is comfortable, and a space which is calming, private and quiet. If playing comforting music or lighting candles, or incense, relaxes you, then do that!
Smudging Your Home To Clear Negative Energy
It’s a good idea to cleanse the energy in your home once a week, in my opinion. I do this with smudging, going around the perimeters of my house asking the powers that be to bless and protect my home and those who dwell in it. It helps to keep negativity and toxic energy out.
Smudging is an ancient shamanic practice and a ceremony practiced by Indigenous peoples of the Americas, which involves the burning of sacred herbs and resins. The smoke is believed to neutralize negative energy – as it clears it takes the unwanted, toxic energy with it, releasing it into another realm where it can be regenerated into positive energy.
I have also attended Catholic church ceremonies several times in my lifetime. They always start with incense at the beginning of a service. I like to describe it as ‘cleaning the negativity and toxic cobwebs’ that have accumulated. Yes, homes collect all kinds of energy over time, just like dust on a lampshade. And it needs to be cleaned! Every home benefits from a frequent smudging.
I especially like to always smudge after any negative encounter that may have taken place in my space – literally anything negative, be it the presence of an actual person, a bad dream, or telephonic argument with a loved one, I like to clear out that energy, as it makes my home brighter and lighter. As a highly sensitive empath, I just love the feeling of fresh, peaceful energy in my home.
On smudging days, I first dust my home and clean it, always with the windows wide open. Then I smudge myself, before smudging my home. I cleanse my own aura from my feet up, then go back down in a swirling motion all around my entire body. I use both hands when doing this, to evenly move the smudging stick around me. I visualize my aura being cleansed completely.
Archangel Raphael – The Angel Of Healing
Rafael means Healing of God. His name not only refers to physical health, but also to that of the soul. He is a healing archangel that represents the aspect of God that helps us maintain a healthy balance in our body, and our emotions.
The body is the temple of the soul, but only if we are taking care of both. Harmony between body and soul translates to inner peace and a natural ease that guides us to joyful moments, and helps us be strong through the difficult times.
Raphael can be the guide that we need by our side, not only in times of difficulties, but also in every challenge, in every new project.
Rafael is also the Protector of Medicine, and is sometimes referred to as the Angel of Science, but he has also adopted other names, such as Archangel of Health; Angel of Healing; Angel of Providence; and even Protector of the Dusk Winds. He is also called the Angel of Consecration, because he helps all who consecrate their life to the service of a higher ideal.
He is also referred to as the Guardian of the East in some Kabalistic traditions, in which he represents the element of Air (as he is also called Ruler of the Winds) and the spirit (or mind) of the person. He is often invoked to free the spirit from what in the past was termed ‘demonic attacks,’ and nowadays we might refer to as obsessive thoughts.
Is It Worth Your Health And Happiness?
We are usually deep in conversation, accompanied by a lot of belly laughs, when I meet with my group of crochet girlfriends every other week. We meet around a large table, yarn in hand, to make lots of wonderful goodies to give away at Christmas, or whatever festive holiday is upon us.
Things turned serious at a recent gathering, when one of the gals in our group starting talking about her daughter, who recently separated from her husband. She said a few things about their situation and then looked up at me, but decided not to ask, as I was there for fun and not to be asked any psychic questions.
My friends know that when I’m at our crochet circle, it is about taking a break from my work and just having some fun with the girls! But it’s not always so easy.
She quickly tried changing the subject, but the other ladies started to talk about their own children. Some of the older gals even brought up their grandchildren who were recently divorced, or separated.
Many comments were made like, “Times are tough,” and, “These days things aren’t the same as they were when we were growing up,” and “Life is no longer as simple as it used to be back in the day,” and also, “Technology is ruining a lot of couples these days.”