personal growth
The Wisdom Of Supporting Others
Being kind, compassionate, supportive and treating others as we want to be treated, is important for our physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Negative energy at work and in our personal lives, can drain our energy and negatively impact the health of mind, body and soul.
Work related issues carry their own special stress, since that has a direct impact on financial well-being, as well as personal happiness. It is best to avoid the envy, jealousy, gossip and betrayal. Beware the eye-rolling, personal attacks, whispers behind closed doors, and the divulging of information that isn’t meant to be shared, as well as the ‘just plain pettiness.’
If you are the one being attacked or targeted, resist the temptation to respond in kind. A public battle of words, or ‘tit-for-tat’ gossip, will change nothing. Adding fuel to the fire will only guarantee that the battle will continue and become even more nasty.
You don’t need to be phony, but it is advisable, and always empowering, to be civil and dignified, and to stay centered. Sometimes it is best to just remain silent. Let your actions speak for you, and to your character.
You don’t need to make excuses for, or feel sorry for the other person, or the group. Just remember what your goals and purpose are. Reach beyond that, and implement an energetic and spiritual practice that will empower both yourself and others.
Letting Go Of Those Old Branches
As winter arrives, it is always a time of reflection for me. Winter storms are so bittersweet. They are beautiful, but they also can be very destructive. In a winter storm last year, I have observed some of the strongest, oldest trees losing their branches. Those large branches were the first to snap. They looked so strong and have weathered so many storms, yet they could not withstand the wind.
As I analyzed the results of that winter storm, the realization came to me that the smaller, more supple branches had the ability to bend with the strong winds. The large, majestic branches, however, had become rigid over the years and broke easily in the powerful, icy wind.
The same principle could apply in our lives. How well we handle a challenging situation will depend on our ability to remain flexible and adapt. A very strong, experienced person may appear on the surface to be able to move mountains and handle most situations with ease. But if that same person is unwilling to listen, refuses to compromise with others and cannot remain open-minded, they will most likely be doing a lot of ‘snapping’ when facing adversity.
If we can ‘bend’ to at least agree to disagree with others, and keep a more flexible, adaptive attitude in difficult times, it makes life a lot easier to maintain harmony with the world. If tunnel vision is how we choose to see life, it is impossible to see that others may also be right sometimes, or have a better solution. When we become rigid, stiff, closed and inflexible, it becomes harder to see the bigger picture and to have a more peaceful approach to life.
When we are rigid and think our way is the only way, it is also hard to make and keep lasting relationships. In a group situation there are always people that see the opposite side any situation for a problem. Sometime these people may play devil’s advocate. They listen to each point of view to arrive at a compromise.
Overcoming The Trials Of Spiritual Transformation
Major setbacks and challenges in our lives can lead to a ‘crisis in faith.’ However, as much as they may seem like unjust setbacks, they’re actually about transcending major hurdles for the purpose of spiritual growth. In truth, these moments of adversity are evidence of an impending, giant step forward within our emerging consciousness. Cherish them.
For those of us who guide others coming into their spiritual power, it is important to understand the significance of these signs, so as to not misinterpret them. That said, it’s not easy for those undergoing these symptoms, which can include feelings of being in limbo, doubtful and depressed, often creating rifts with family and friends. All of these signposts are marking the path for spiritual transformation in the now. For example, if you catch yourself having moments of letting go consciously of self-limiting negativities, that is letting you know that you’re right on track. Honor them.
It’s not unusual for an emerging lightworker to suddenly let go of family and friends whom they no longer resonate with, or to undergo a career change which formerly would have been inconceivable. One becomes less concerned with matters of everyday security, often feeling that the cultural values we have been taught are nothing but an illusion. Or, some may feel they are in mourning, as though something or someone has died – which is a actually an apt description. Indeed, it’s a death of priorities and loss of all meaningless ties. As a result, it’s not a loss at all. Rather, it’s marking the path of self-sufficiency.
For me, it often goes something like this: “Hmmm, I’m feeling a bit restless. Is there something I should be pursuing? Is there a calling I’m missing?” The answer usually comes as I wait on more information with intention. I call it WOO: Waiting On Orders. Although the ‘orders’ may not come immediately, sooner or later, I am back on my path in the direction indicated by the objectives my higher good is setting out for my next challenge in the spiritual growth process. Be aware of them.
Seeking Spirituality
During the years of private study with my teacher, Adyashanti, he used to speak a lot about belief systems and spiritual practices. I learned from him, among other things, that to believe something, as opposed to having a direct experience of it, are two entirely different things. If you believe something because you’ve been made to feel guilty for being a non-believer, or merely because you think it’s the ‘right’ thing to do, it’s likely that this belief will be challenged throughout your life.
However, if you have a direct experience that is of a spiritual nature, you’re more likely to remember it and the impact it had on you, and you are more likely to truly believe as a result. The direct spiritual experiences we have, whether through meditation, dreams, or psychic and paranormal phenomena, are the ones that help us grow as an individual and bring us into alignment with our soul.
Why is this? If you think about it, we are bombarded with information every day that our minds must either believe, memorize, and somehow apply. Our authentic state, soul or higher self, has a direct, intuitive knowing that doesn’t come from this information or thoughts triggered by the external world. This kind of ‘knowing’ comes from within. When we have moments where our ‘everyday mind’ is out of the way, either through a psychic vision, spiritual experience, dream, or simply a quiet, meditative state, we come back in touch with this original ‘inner knowing’ or ‘beingness.’
Some call this ‘enlightenment.’ According to my teacher, Adyashanti, and from my own direct experiences, true enlightenment is not something that can be learned, rather it’s the ‘unlearning’ of all thoughts we’ve taken in.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Life Lesson Of ‘Making Plans’
‘Making plans’ has been a life lesson for me. Whenever I make serious plans, they always tend to fall through. Something usually comes up, or it just doesn’t work out.
It has been at times almost comical. I even started telling people, whenever they invite me to attend an event, or go somewhere with them, or sign up for something important, that I plan on possibly doing this with them, but I am not going to say it is definite….because then it probably won’t work out.
In time I came to realize that the Universe was teaching me, over and over again, to not make any major plans. The lesson for me has been simply to never say yes to anything with absolute certainty. Why? Because nothing is ever guaranteed. Things change, things happen… and not only to us, but also to others. It is often a domino effect that can impact our plans in many ways. Today, tomorrow, nothing is ever guaranteed.
In the process I have also learned to curb my emotions. You may find this odd or strange, but it has been my truth for more than four decades. In my experience, whenever I get super excited about something, it either gets taken away from me, or something happens to changes it for the worse.
Active Listening – A Message From My Guides
Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.
Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.
With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?
The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.
People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.