mindset
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
The Magical Possibilities Of 6,000 Thoughts
According to a 2020 study at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, we have more than 6,000 thoughts a day. From a spiritual perspective, this is fascinating, but also potentially troublesome.
Those of us who are metaphysically aware know that our thoughts create our reality. Not only do our positive or negative thoughts determine what will manifest in our lives, but also how we choose to feel and act based on those 6,000 daily thoughts!
In addition, we tend to have lingering thoughts and nagging worries that we obsess over throughout the day. The more we repeat those same toxic thoughts, the more they gain energetic momentum and manifesting power. Thoughts are energy vibrations, and thoughts become things.
We all have the innate spiritual freedom to act of our own free will. Every thought we have comes with choices and options. It can range from a simple decision to stop thinking a particular negative thought…to making a life-changing decision.
Unfortunately, most people make the same choices over and over again. They stick with what is safe, comfortable, familiar, or predictable, while ignoring the other options that may be open to them. This is often how we get stuck in comfort zones, or struggle to manifest the things we dream about.
In order to manifest new things and invite change into our lives, we must carefully examine our thought patterns and habits. If we choose the same responses and actions to the same thoughts every day, we cannot expect to move forward, or create a new reality. Often the problem is not the thoughts we think, but how we choose to feel and act in response to those thoughts.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
Frog’s Wisdom To Adapt To Change
I must admit, when I initially discovered that my spirit animal is the frog, my ego took somewhat of a dive! The frog is such a small, insignificant creature that is mostly overlooked, and certainly not the most attractive of species.
In had secretly hoped my totem animal might be a majestic, powerful animal that commands attention and is admired, even adored. But here was the tiny frog, my spirit guide.
However, once I uncovered some of the spiritual symbolism of this amazing little being, I soon grew to embrace its guiding presence in my life. Frog has in fact been teaching me much about myself, my path, and my place in the world.
The magnificent little frog’s most prominent attribute is its ability to adapt and transform. Frogs are all about change and new beginnings. They are also associated with purification, rebirth, and welcoming luck and abundance into your life. Frog is therefore the ideal power animal for anyone going through major changes in their life.
In my case, it was the opposite. Over the years, I had gradually developed a worldview that was somewhat stringent, restrained, and resistant to change. My inability to communicate with grace and clarity further complicated this outlook by causing me to become frustrated, and sometimes even angry and resentful.
The fact that I chose to perceive life in a self-limiting way was not apparent to me, until frog showed up. But with frog’s inspiration the realization started to sink in that it was not that the world was not kind, patient and accommodating towards me, but instead that I was creating resistance and that my needs and expectations were not always clearly expressed to others.
Happiness Is To Follow Your Path With Joy
Discouragement, failure, heartache. Poor Moses did not have it easy. He went daily to the throne of the Pharaoh to ask for the release of his people. His life hadn’t started out very well. His mother had to hide him in the bulrushes, so he wouldn’t be killed right after his birth.
Then he went to live in the princess’s house, and knowing he was different he often felt alone. Adopted by royalty, his biological mother and sister were still living as slaves in the fields. He wasn’t happy. He should have been in high spirits, because he had everything a young man could desire…except he knew he didn’t belong.
Then, before he realized what had happened, this young man had killed an Egyptian soldier! So, here he was, a sought criminal, running away and going into hiding.
He had a stutter when he spoke, so he was a quiet man. But then Great Spirit puts him on his true path, instructing him to “go talk to Pharaoh, tell him to let my people go.”
What! Look, this path can’t be right? Yet, reassured by the prophets, the messengers, he embraced his task of getting the Israelites out of Egypt. With his brother by his side to do the talking, Moses finally went to the Pharaoh, and kickstarted the dream of freedom from slavery.
God helped Moses by creating problems for the Egyptians. He sent plagues and calamities. At first the results were disappointing and there was no change. Time after time, ten times in fact, just as the release seemed to be granted, the Pharaoh snatched it back again. But eventually see the plan finally work out.
Spiritual Awareness Requires A Soul-Body Connection
A practical way to understand our own spiritual identity within the co-created reality of this world is to think of our soul as the metaphysical software, and our body as the physical hardware. Both software and hardware are needed to have a fully functioning computer that is able to solve problems and complete tasks.
In spirituality, we tend to focus mostly on the mind or consciousness aspects of our existence, such as intuitions, dreams, psychic experiences, paranormal events, our belief system, and altered states of consciousness achieved through various spiritual modalities, including meditation, chanting, trance-inducing rituals, hypnosis, yoga, music, mandala, and so on.
Yet, we seldom consider the importance of the physical experience we are having. This is a vital component in our spiritual evolution that is often overlooked! As metaphysical, energetic beings, we incarnated in human form with a physical body to have a physical learning experience. There is therefore much spiritual value in making the most of our physical embodiment in this lifetime.
The physical body we are born with unique resonates with our soul consciousness and is designed to support us through our journey on this physical plane. But too often we take for granted this amazing vessel that carries us through life. Soon after our birth we become so used to being in our body that we seldom consider its true value.
Sadly, many of us tend to abuse our body in all sorts of ways, for all sorts of reasons, and yet, our body just keeps on doing everything in its power to keep us healthy and strong, for it to continue carrying us through our spiritual journey in this lifetime.
Find The Spiritual Gold Outside Your Comfort Zone
Some people are not ready or strong enough to embrace the truth, nor the unfamiliar. And that’s okay. We are all at different stages in our soul evolution. Energetically we are like magnets that resonate with those who are on the same frequency, and bounce off those who do not share our level of understanding. And that is okay.
The more evolved and sensible we are spiritually, the more open we are to embrace new information and learn from the acquired insight and wisdom of others. The higher our vibration, the less likely we are to overreact with extreme resistance, or become anxious or annoyed when we are confronted with inconvenient new realities.
Resistance and defensiveness stem from the ego. The ego tends to hinder us from being present and truly connecting, learning, growing, and expanding. This ultimately keeps us from evolving spiritually.
I have always been a firm believer that the teacher will appear when the student is ready. Those who are no longer held back by the human ego, are more ready and open to receive new information and explore deeper wisdom on a soul level.
We need not unconditionally agree with everything, but one can always find some ‘gold’ in whatever crosses our path. There is always some nugget of wisdom or insight we can use, even if we choose to discard the rest. There is always something of value that we can add to our toolbox of personal growth and soul expansion. There is always something new to learn or discover.