mental clarity
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Manifesting Meditation For Beginners
The practice of meditation is tremendously powerful and has impacts on both our spiritual and physical well-being, as well as on our reality. Creating a routine meditation practice can help to super-charge your ability to manifest your desires, has incredible health benefits, and believe it or not – it can actually be a fun experience!
The idea that you have to be able to completely clear your mind of thoughts to successfully meditate is probably one of the most common misconceptions. This is only one form of meditation and honestly, it’s quite challenging! For someone who has never meditated before, it would be like giving a kindergarten student a complicated math equation to solve.
As with anything, it takes some time to learn the technique and train your brain to comply with your spirit. The first thing you must understand is, you are not your brain or your thoughts. You are not your body, or your emotions. These are all things you experience. You experience the thoughts in your mind, you experience the sensations of the body and of emotions, but these things are not you.
So, what or who is doing the observing? The answer is Spirit. Your spirit. This understanding is vital. Once you can separate your Spirit, your Soul, from the mechanics of the body, you can begin to tame the voracious beast that is your mind.
Going back to stillness meditations for moment, these are certainly powerful and wonderful to experience, but our brains are used to running the show! Instead of trying to turn off your thoughts, I encourage you to begin by giving the mind something to do instead.
Take some time to think about what you want to achieve through your practice. At its most basic meditation can be used as a tool to help align your mind, body and spirit with your overall goals. These goals can be anything! Reducing stress or anxiety, improving overall vitality, enhancing mental function, boosting your mood, improving your sleep patterns, and so on. Creative visualization is a remarkably powerful tool for manifesting. If you have never tried it before, start with just one simple intention. As you grow more adept, you can expand your goals and wishes.
Wishing You A ‘Less-Is-More’ Year In 2021
The year 2020 was challenging, but not all bad. In fact, it helped me to get my life a little more ‘tuned-up.’ I slowed down and really took stock of what is most important.
I was able to spend more time at home, reflecting on what matters most, and getting more in touch with parts of myself that have been neglected for too long. Sometimes there are sacrifices when it comes to enlightenment and I guess that could be said for 2020.
I also had more time for self-care and learning the importance of it. Not just teaching the importance of it, but actually taking some of the tools to bat for myself!
I have also noticed my relationships improved a lot. I stopped communicating with all the energy thieves and psychic vampires, avoided social media, and enhanced those meaningful relationships that needed more love and care.
I do believe I generally live in a very mindful way, with awareness and discernment, but 2020 somehow just helped me see things with clear 20/20 vision on so many levels.
It may seem weird, but actually I do hope 2021 will be somewhat similar – minus the coronavirus, of course, but with continued awareness and clarity. I do not want that aspect of the year to end. It has enhanced my spirituality, health and well-being on so many levels. I think it would be such a missed opportunity to just back to the rat race mentality and start living again with all the usual pressure and stress again.
I am so incredibly grateful for the time spent at home this past year. It has been downright delightful. Who would not get great joy from curling up and spending time with yourself, your cats, and reading cool books?
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
Realign Your Spirit This New Year
With the difficult year 2020 finally in our rear-view mirror, it is time to stop for a moment, clear our minds, hearts and spirit, and embrace the hope, happiness, well-being and prosperity that awaits us in the new year. We do not have to carry the pain and chaos of 2020 forward with us.
The first step to achieve this would be to check our alignment body, mind and spirit. Alignment is defined as the “arrangement in a straight line, or in correct or appropriate relative positions,” as well as a “position of agreement or alliance.” Happiness, well-being and abundance becomes blocked for us when we are not in agreement and alliance with our spirit.
Many of us have been in survival mode the past year, instead of in thrive mode. Dramatic changes in our health and wellness, career, business, finances, relationships, family and social life, and our lifestyles in general, can cause our soul energy to go sideways and out of alignment, just like being sideswiped by a car.
If you step off a curb suddenly, fall, twist an ankle, or pull a muscle, it will often put unusual stress on our spine and central nervous system. When the spine is misaligned a myriad of symptoms such as headaches, lower back pain, neck pain and numbness can manifest. Symptoms like these are the body’s way of letting us know something needs to be urgently attended to.
The same holds true for our spiritual well-being. When our energy, mental processes, and emotions begin to run amuck, our spiritual alignment needs to be corrected to regain our balance. Our body, mind and spirit must all be facing the same direction for us to move forward.
Staying in alignment with Spirit enables us to bounce back quickly, stay on course and manifest happiness and prosperity in our lives. Alignment with Spirit is our natural and preferred state, and while we may find ourselves temporarily off for various reasons, we are never too far to come back.
Walking In Faithful Companionship
I live on a winding country road. Every morning and afternoon I drive along it, bringing my son to and from the farm sanctuary, where he dedicates his days and energies to the care of rescued animals.
Frequently, we pass neighbors enjoying a peaceful walk – sometimes with their partners, sometimes with their pets. There is one pair that has particularly captured our attention and admiration. The sight of them this morning especially started the day with a vision of sweetness!
As we came around a curve opening to a long, straight stretch in front of us, the gentle lady and her golden-colored dog were semi-visible in the distance. Backlit by the brilliant sun and morning mist, they would have been difficult to see had it not been for the bright orange vest the precious pooch was wearing.
What was most stunning however, was the way the dog turned towards the owner, sat down, and looked up at her with perfect poise and patience, as we drove around them. Not only was the scene adorable, but it embodied much spiritual wisdom for me.
The first thought for me was how noticeable the love and trust is between them. The woman did not even appear to speak a command to signal her canine companion to ‘sit.’ She just stopped and stood still with her feet together, looking straight ahead.
While it was clear they had developed their rapport and understanding of communication through prior training, it was nonetheless the woman’s energy that stood out the most for me. She was calm, yet clear; gentle, yet firm; and guiding, yet respectful. The impact of her energetic qualities was evident in the demeanor of her dog.
The dog’s energy also bore more than mere obedience. It emanated ease, faith, trust, respect, security, love, loyalty, and more. The pooch knows it is protected, respected, and loved, and reciprocated accordingly.
How Sticky Notes Can Change Your Life
We live in a world where we are bombarded with negativity every day. Whether it comes from social media or the mainstream news, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of negative information and fear-based messages. And the more we are exposed to all this negative input, the more we internalize it, until it becomes part of our self-talk and general state of mind.
Fortunately, the solution to some of life’s most complex challenges can often be found in the most mundane. Enter the simple sticky note! By writing down simple, positive affirmations or slogans on a bunch of sticky notes, and placing them anywhere you will see them frequently, you can significantly change your inner dialogue from constant negativity and nay-saying to one of possibility, hope and optimism.
Choose simple, short affirmations that resonate with who you are, and what you truly want in life. Whether it’s something like, “I am worthy,” or “Love surrounds me,” or even, “I will get that dream job,” it will inspire you to change the narrative and negative self-talk each time you read one of these short statements out loud.
This technique always reminds me of the famous opening scene of the television cartoon, The Simpsons, with Bart Simpson writing a phrase over and over on the chalkboard. There’s actually some method in the madness of this old-fashioned way of disciplining schoolkids. When our brain repeats a word or phrase over and over again, new neural pathways are created with new associations. Saying something once or twice only, we’re just as likely to forget it. But if it’s something we repeat many times, our brain will literally change over time, and so will our patterns of thought, feeling and action.
It’s been shown that establishing a new habit, or making new behavior automatic, takes on average about two months. Try placing your sticky notes in those places you spend most of your time every day: in your workspace, your car, on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen refrigerator, or on your bedside table. The more you see (and repeat) the words written on them, the more you will start to transform your thinking.