Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions

I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.

For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.

Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.

I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.

For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.

When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!

When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.

If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far ~ Daniel Goleman

So, what are emotions? They are our guide. They are our map and our compass. They are the stars by which we steer our ship!

Sadly, more and more people these days try to numb their emotions. We push them down, stick with what is familiar. We don’t like to rock the boat. There is an epidemic of apathy in modern society, because people aren’t sure what to do about their challenging emotions or how to work with them in constructive ways.

The first and most important step to creating more harmony an balance in your emotional body is to understand that your emotions are not your enemy. You don’t have to get away from your feelings, or ‘get over’ them, or deny them in any way. They are messengers of your soul, signals from spirit, and should be regarded as having important information for you about your life and the choices you make.

For example, your significant other brings you flowers. You feel good, you have a warm and pleasant emotional response. This is a yes for you! On the other hand, maybe your significant other also cheats on you. You feel rejected and disappointed, and you have a painful emotional response. This is a no for you. Obvious, right?

The trouble is when situations are more complex or subtle, like when someone is manipulating or gaslighting you, or when we don’t have anyone who can relate to what we are feeling, we tend to wind up feeling confused. We doubt our experience and our ability to make the best choices.

This is exactly why we need to ‘become friends’ with our emotions, so that we can access the guidance they bring us in a constructive and empowering way.

While our emotions are part of our inner guidance system, I want to be clear I am not saying we should be acting on every emotional whim we experience. Far, far from it. Emotions can be intense and bring up impulses that aren’t always helpful, heartful, or even healthful. So, self-regulation is a key ingredient in a creating harmony and balance in your emotional experience, especially for those of us who have become numbed to our emotions.

The first step is observing and acknowledging your emotions. If you’re someone who has made a habit of ignoring your emotional body, and repressing it, you may be confused at first, or uncertain how to interpret what you’re feeling. That’s okay! If this is you, take all the time you need and encourage yourself to continue connecting with, and observe your emotional responses, because, it will get easier!

When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves ~ Jess C. Scott

As you are observing your emotional responses, also pay attention to what is happening in your body in relation to those emotions. Are those sensations pleasant, or unpleasant? As you observing and noticing all the aspects of your emotional responses? Are you truly present with yourself in these moments? You are busy aligning yourself with your emotional body and signaling to your mind, body and spirit that you are meaningfully being ‘there for yourself.’

Once you start practicing this, you’ll realize how natural and healthy it is to experience your emotions. Interpreting them will soon become much easier.

Identifying what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way is typically fairly straightforward. The grey area resides in what to do about those feelings or what the message is for you. Remember, this isn’t about following every emotional whim you have.

The second step to harmonizing with your emotional body, is to determine how to best respond to each emotion – in a way that will be in the highest and best good of your spirit. This requires a delicate balance between being self-loving enough to put your own best interests first, while also being generous of spirit with others.

If you are experiencing an emotion that is unpleasant, you must take ownership of that emotion and be very honest about why you are feeling that way. Then you have to determine if you need to make certain changes toy our outer world or inner world in order to reconcile and integrate that emotion in a balanced way.

In other words, sometimes we need to make changes to the people, places, situations we allow in our lives, and other times it is our own perspective that needs to shift.

One way to help determine if the change we need to make is internal or external, is to recognize that there are things in this life which are beyond our control. For example, how other people feel about us, or what they think of us, the choices they make, the judgments they hold, are not something we control.

When you’re dealing with unpleasant emotions in response to something outside your control, you can usually trust that your power of influence will be to shift your perspective – sometimes in very surprising ways.

You’ve probably heard it said that “no one can make you feel something.” I disagree. We are always going to have emotional responses to what others say and do. In this sense we are at the mercy of the people we’ve chosen to be in our lives.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence ~ Robert K. Cooper

It’s also true that the people we love the most are the ones who hurt us the most. And there is actually incredible value in this dynamic. Honoring your emotions isn’t about ejecting from your life people who sometimes make you feel bad. People we love are going to do that, and these conflicts can actually bring us closer together if we deal withit properly.

It is instead about discerning which relationships and situations are adding value to your life, and which are not. Very often it is either our love for someone, or our passion for a certain vocation or hobby, which motivates us to face emotional challenges that come attached to those people or passions.

When we are emotionally conflicted, it’s usually a signal for us to examine why we feel so intensely, and what we need to be doing differently. If we are unwilling to let a person or situation go, it may motivate us to look at ways we need to evolve in order to bring more harmony into the dynamic.

If it is an unhealthy situation, we may find that things become increasingly uncomfortable, until we are forced to leave that situation behind us.

A few years ago, I was faced with a realization that in all my relationships I felt that intimacy was lacking. I didn’t feel that deep sense of connection or authenticity, and this was torturous for me. Having a rich spiritual life, I couldn’t understand why this was the case.

In particular, my romantic relationships always seemed to go the same way. At a certain point the intimacy, the heart-to-heart connection, just wasn’t enough for me. It felt like I kept picking partners who were not really emotionally available. For years I blamed my partners. They were too emotionally remote, or disconnected. I blamed them for the lack of intimacy.

Then one day, I had a revelation. I’m not sure what sparked it, to be honest, I was once again feeling badly about this lack of intimacy. I was once again thinking about my relationship life and reflecting on this dynamic, as I had been doing for years. But this time, I did something different. I asked myself a question I hadn’t considered before. What if I’m the problem?

I’d have dismissed this thought in the past, because I always considered myself to be super affectionate. I express love constantly through touch, and words of affirmation. I can be a bit of ‘love bomber’ that way. But while these are lovely expressions of my feelings, these acts are not true intimacy.

Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy ~ Dean Koontz

As someone with a lot of trauma in my past, I knew I also had  certain blockages with regards receiving love. Yet, I never before put two and two together. I suddenly realized that I suffered from an inability to accept intimacy!

Once I had this revelation, I immediately began taking steps to help heal and open my heart chakra. It was a powerful experience! I had to stick with it, despite the process being very uncomfortable at times. But once my perspective shifted around intimacy, and I took ownership of the issue, my relationships completely began to transform.

I was astounded by how much love I was now suddenly receiving. While I had been so busy blaming my partners for the intimacy issues, I was totally blind to my own blockages. Once I turned my awareness to my own need for accountability and healing, everything shifted for me.

So, my emotions were telling me something was a no for me, but I was confused about was causing this ‘no’ situation. The point is, our emotions will clearly tell us when we do or don’t like something. But it’s up to us to use discernment and be very honest with ourselves about what that actually means, and how to use the information.

Emotions are not meant to hurt us, they are meant to help us understand what isn’t working for us, as well as what is. Emotions point us in the direction of our highest desires and dreams! Sometimes this means we need to confront our inner shadows, and sometimes it means we need to let go of people or situations that hold us down. Only you know what’s in your highest and best good. Each situation is different.

Use your emotions as your guide. They are part of the experience of being here and they let you know where you need to place your awareness. Tuning back into your emotional body will help to strengthen your intuition and find the internal guidance to ensure you are on the road to manifesting the life and future you want and deserve.