emotions
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Taking Time Out On Life’s Park Bench
Recently, I had the wonderful experience of meeting a mature gentleman who was sitting in the park on a bench. As I approached the bench, I noticed he was smiling and writing on a manila notepad. I sat down on the next bench to enjoy the sounds of the wind, and the birds, and the barking of a dog playing nearby with a little boy.
The gentleman introduced himself and we began talking. I asked him what he was so furiously writing about in his notepad?
“Life,” he said and smiled.
I obviously had a puzzled look on my face and he laughed. I asked what was so funny? He answered with a puzzling question.
“Well, what does the word ‘life’ mean to you?”
We then began a very pleasant philosophical conversation about metaphysics. I confided that I was in fact a psychic and we talked about energy, manifesting, meditation, and psychic phenomena.
At one point he asked me how I handle crossroads or major decisions in my life? Now it was my turn to laugh. He cocked his head and seemed curious as to my reaction.
“Well, we all deal with life changes and crossroads differently,” I said, “but since you are writing about ‘life’ on your notepad, I suspect you’re busy making a list of all the pros and cons of the dilemma or life choice you’re currently facing?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
Beware The Power Of The Quartz Crystal
I love crystals and stones and have traveled all over the world to retrieve some of these beautiful gems of color and purpose. They carry with them amazing energy and metaphysical healing properties.
I have used crystals and stones very successfully in helping many of my clients rebalance and heal their lives, be it for the purpose of health, love, relationship, career, business, finances, or personal growth. Working with stones can assist you in achieving your goals and fulfilling your needs.
There is however one stone that I respect and revere more than the others, to the extent that I never recommend it as a ‘quick-fix’ remedy to others. This precious mineral is the pure quartz crystal. It is a very powerful energy conductor that essentially has a ‘mind of its own.’ It has no compassion, just purpose. Its energy is very direct.
The clear quartz is a stone that needs to be used to do a specific job of goodwill or serve a benevolent purpose, because it can magnify energies as much as tenfold and even higher. It must be used with great respect, for it can be harmful and even dangerous if used carelessly.
A clear quartz crystal casually worn as jewelry, for example, amplifies your mood and personality. If you are at peace with yourself and the world, and in a happy place, you will experience even more joy and happiness, and also spread it to everyone around you. But if you are angry, anxious, or depressed, the exact opposite will be true.
In other words, a little road rage, for example, could escalate to a disastrous scenario if you happen to be wearing a quartz crystal pendant. Oh my, things could get very bad! I therefore do not recommend people wear quartz crystals as everyday jewelry, because even the slightest shift in mood or emotional reaction could create havoc and derail the wearer’s day.
The Self-Healing Miracle Of Letting Go
In the mid-90s, I had the opportunity to attend The Sedona Method Technique Teacher Training course in Arizona. The experience pierced the core of my being and changed my life forever.
Initially, I was reluctant to go, because I was living in Michigan at the time with my husband and two young daughters. My youngest was around a year old and our older daughter was only five. We had not been living in Michigan very long as we had only recently moved there, and I was terribly worried about leaving them for two weeks!
Nevertheless, I convinced myself to go, because my husband had gone to a previous workshop and raved about how it transformed his life. I sensed it would be good tool to incorporate into my psychic readings and metaphysical work.
When I arrived at the workshop there were attendees from all over the world, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and even scientists. To be honest, I felt a little awkward being thrown in with a bunch of ‘genius nerds’ with various fancy post-graduate degrees. It was a bit intimidating to feel that many of them probably had a much better understanding and formal education on human behavior than I did. However, that did not prevent me from also learning this wonderful technique.
The Sedona Method is based on the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is different from intellectual intelligence, because it refers to our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions, and how skilled we are at using social awareness to find solutions to daily challenges and life problems.
The Sedona Method therefore teaches one how to improve your EQ. In the same way we can go to the gym to strengthen a muscle, or do brain training puzzles to improve our memory, we can also train and develop our emotional intelligence.
Our natural impulse when something makes us sad, angry, or fearful, is to resist and fight back, or shut down emotionally to it. Emotional intelligence requires that we take a step back, take a breath, and release the urge to go with a kneejerk reaction of firing back or shutting down.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.
Rediscovering The Untouched Soul
Our soul is always a clean slate when we are born. Knowing this and living accordingly is true spirituality. However, the virgin territory of our soul is often more or less blemished or darkened due to many traumas and challenges throughout our lifetime.
Along our life path, we often lose much of the spiritual innocence we had as children. Instead, we begin to dwell in shadows of darkness in various forms: indifference to the destiny of others, confinement in our own; laziness, vanity, greed, envy, violence, hatred.
None of us can deny having at times dark thoughts or toxic emotions, malicious habits or selfish behaviors. However, no matter how widespread and ingrained the darkness may become in us, it is also certain that something immaculate always persists in some corner of our inner being. Even if it is tiny, there is an eternal point of light within where our higher self always remains pure and original. The sacred we carry within cannot be defiled.
As much as life may have made us callous or cynical, we always have this sacred stronghold inside. Herein lies the hope of those who practice spirituality: to reach that virgin point and rediscover in it one’s original nature.
This original nature, pure and innocent, we have sometimes forgotten to such an extent that we need someone or something to remind us to look inside ourselves to rediscover who we truly are.
We sometimes need someone to explain that we suffer because we have stopped believing in purity, beauty and what is good. We need someone to remind us that our deepest identity is virginal and fruitful, empty and full, both things, however contradictory this may seem.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.