insecurity
The True Power Of Your Worst Nightmares
When I was 24 years old, I was a somewhat disempowered young lady who went to work for the city council. All the girls in the office had an active social life and a boyfriend, except me.
In fact, I was bullied for it and became a bit of a joke around the water cooler, to the extent that I could not properly concentrate on the task at hand and ultimately lost my job. Looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, at the time, it did not feel like it.
About a year ago, I started to have a recurring dream that I was 24 again, and sharing an office with the same mean girls, supervised by the same misogynist boss. But this time I had a very different mindset.
In my dream, the boss had criticized my work. So, I pick up the documents he complained about to, walk up to his office, put it on his desk, and tell him politely to type his own letters in future. I was going home now, because I am no longer prepared to put up with his nonsense.
Well, if only I had the same courage back in the old days, I might have suffered far less emotional anguish! I felt really empowered in the dream, and it brought me the realization that I no longer have to suffer fools and that I need to stick up for myself more often. However, the dream also revealed to me that I still had not entirely made peace with the past, otherwise the dream would not be recurring.
The moral of the story is that dreams do not only reflect how we are doing in the present, and how far we have advanced in life, but also what we need to do to work on ourselves to be even better in the future. How powerful and life-enhancing is that!
Another compelling dream I have been having of late is of myself flying a light hovercraft over the estate where I lived as a child. I faced several challenging, traumatizing things growing up there, including poverty and domestic abuse. However, this liberating dream confirms that I have managed to rise above those childhood setbacks and obstacles, and I am now in control of my own life and destiny.
Boldly Into The Future With Jupiter In Pisces 2022
It’s a new year and I feel the need to exhale and wipe the sweat off my forehead. We all made it through a very intense 2021. I know I’m not the only one to feel the sense of relief.
Astrologically speaking, Saturn square Uranus was no laughing matter in 2021. I personally know many people whose lives were shaken. We’ve all taken a hit from the pandemic, losing loved ones, jobs, and our emotional sense of security (Uranus in Taurus).
And then for a brief time, from May until July, Jupiter, the planet of hope, freedom, and happiness, dipped its big toes into the ocean of Pisces with many public health precautions lifted and optimism returning.
We nervously stepped out, albeit a bit ‘grungy’ looking. Fashion became comfy loungewear, the beards were left bushy, and women owned their greys. But we ventured out of our caves and life began to stir as the sun’s rays nourished our now socially awkward selves.
It was nice while it lasted.
Then Jupiter went back into Aquarius, once again cohabiting with the Scrooge of the planets, Saturn, and we went back into our cocoons, experiencing increasing shell shocks as Saturn and Uranus completed their final square dance right before Christmas. Polarizing politics, flights canceled, families torn asunder.
And many celebrity deaths in the news this past two years, including our beloved Betty White to close out 2021.
But, the first four months of this year we will once again feel the benevolent optimism, miracles and good fortune of Jupiter returning to Pisces shining its light in the world! Jupiter will do the same again at the end of October to finish out the year.
Reclaim Your Energy For Financial Prosperity
You may be surprised to learn that I find doing readings about money and finances to be no different from doing a love or relationship reading. In my experience, how we handle money is usually exactly the same as how we operate in relationships and how we ultimately treat ourselves and others. How we earn and spend money is also how we love ourselves and others. In the end it is all about how we manage our personal energy.
For example, if you constantly find yourself in overwhelming debt, consider how you operate in your relationships. Do you feel as if you give, and give, and give, and rarely get anything back? Do you feel as if you are always pursuing relationships and they are unwilling to commit? Is it typically an ‘on again, off again’ scenario?
Now consider how this also reflects in your money matters and financial management. Do you find that as soon as you have money it is already spent? Is it continuously flowing out? Do you struggle to hold on to, or build any savings? The deeper truth is that this constant ‘scarcity’ or ‘lack’ is the result of a fear of owning our power.
Do a simple exercise by becoming quiet and centered. Calm your mind and body and then call on your angels and guides. Ask them to show you what it would feel like to hold on to just ten percent more of your energy. Increase this every day for ten days and you will now know what it is like to hold on to hundred percent of your energy!
Once you have reclaimed all your energy, ask your spirit helpers to teach you how to carry this newfound sense of personal power into your daily life. If you are like many of my clients, you will soon find that both your financial priorities have shifted. You will be making less impulse purchases and find yourself saving for the things that are more in alignment with your higher self.
Your Eternal Core Of Divine Perfection
As I was coming out of meditation today, I had a message from Spirit. I was shown the beautiful ball of infinite Light that each of us are at the core. We are eternal Love and Light.
No matter what we learn, or how much earthly information we take in, no matter how much experience we accumulate in life on any given topic – at our core, we are already perfect in spirit.
This was an interesting insight for me, as a person who’s spent most of her life chasing after more metaphysical knowledge and deeper spiritual experiences, only to find that none of the constant searching and spiritual work I had accomplished really matters when it comes down to the Light at the core of my being.
Sure, I have experienced a greater sense of expansion and mental understanding, from doing lots of spiritual work on myself, however, the innate perfection of who I am within, remains untouched and already perfect.
Some might disagree with this and say that it’s not true, but this is beyond anything we could think, say, or do, it’s our original State of Being that remains untouched by anything while we are here in human form.
I can say, however, especially as a Gemini, that when I’m called or propelled to do something different, or learn something new, it might take an army of thousands to stop me from doing it! When I feel guided to pursue something, I will move toward that and put a lot of my time and energy into it.
What is however interesting, is that the divine, eternal part of us, the higher self, the ball of Light so to speak, is totally fine whether we pursue these things or not, because who we are with or without this knowledge or accomplishment, is already whole and complete.
If so, then why bother doing anything at all in this life, if it doesn’t really matter and if we are already whole? My understanding is that we we can only follow the curiosity of the great mystery, as we make our way along our life journey.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Walking In Faithful Companionship
I live on a winding country road. Every morning and afternoon I drive along it, bringing my son to and from the farm sanctuary, where he dedicates his days and energies to the care of rescued animals.
Frequently, we pass neighbors enjoying a peaceful walk – sometimes with their partners, sometimes with their pets. There is one pair that has particularly captured our attention and admiration. The sight of them this morning especially started the day with a vision of sweetness!
As we came around a curve opening to a long, straight stretch in front of us, the gentle lady and her golden-colored dog were semi-visible in the distance. Backlit by the brilliant sun and morning mist, they would have been difficult to see had it not been for the bright orange vest the precious pooch was wearing.
What was most stunning however, was the way the dog turned towards the owner, sat down, and looked up at her with perfect poise and patience, as we drove around them. Not only was the scene adorable, but it embodied much spiritual wisdom for me.
The first thought for me was how noticeable the love and trust is between them. The woman did not even appear to speak a command to signal her canine companion to ‘sit.’ She just stopped and stood still with her feet together, looking straight ahead.
While it was clear they had developed their rapport and understanding of communication through prior training, it was nonetheless the woman’s energy that stood out the most for me. She was calm, yet clear; gentle, yet firm; and guiding, yet respectful. The impact of her energetic qualities was evident in the demeanor of her dog.
The dog’s energy also bore more than mere obedience. It emanated ease, faith, trust, respect, security, love, loyalty, and more. The pooch knows it is protected, respected, and loved, and reciprocated accordingly.
Harmonizing The Energy Flow Of Money
When I was younger, I never thought of money as being spiritual or metaphysical in any way. I never considered the possibility that our financial prosperity, or lack thereof, may be somehow connected to our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it. Even after studying business, and working as an accountant for many years, I never saw the correlation. It wasn’t until I began to explore the spiritual aspect of my life, that I became aware of this link.
I became the sole income provider in my home, after my divorce. At this time, I began to look more deeply into my beliefs and associations with money. If you personally relate to my experience during those difficult days, you will also understand what it feels like to be totally overwhelmed when you are experiencing many new obstacles in your life to financial security and cash flow.
Fortunately, there has always been a logical and practical part of myself that kicks in when I’m faced with big challenges and difficult choices, especially around financial decisions. This instinctive part of me is a natural default from my years as an accountant and mortgage finance consultant.
When my inner accountant comes out, I look at the logical side of things and rationally reason my decisions. Then, on other occasions, the spiritually aware, intuitive part of me knows that if I am overly stressed and worried about money, I block my own energy flow from the Source of all things abundant. I have often also seen that my creative process and artwork doesn’t flow freely when I become too worried about finances – I just paint ‘mud.’
So, how do we find balance between our logical, human need for material security, and the intuitive, spiritual aspect of our soul that finds it easy to trust the unknown? How do we find that balance?