insecurity
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Small Gestures Of Kindness In A Time Of Cruelty
People are feeling anxious and uncertain with what has been happening in the world in recent months. Many are fearful and stressed, and unsure how to act appropriately in these strange times. Some act out in destructive or dramatic ways, taking their frustration out on others.
It is common knowledge that the digital age and social media has spawned a generation of computer warriors and online bullies who express their insecurities and fears, in often extremely mean and cruel ways, from the comfort of their living rooms and basements. This savage lack of empathy and decorum has seemingly now spilt over into our streets and neighborhoods too, in the midst of a global pandemic.
It is easier for many to be critical and judgmental, to complain and argue, instead of facing facts, dealing with the truth and seeking lasting solutions. Often not knowing the entire story, many people choose to see only see one side of things, while telling others off for disagreeing with their limited point of view. The computer has unfortunately given some people a platform to spread strife and hatred, instead of love, hope and kindness.
I pray that more people will strive to seek the truth and learn to look for the good and kind in others. Showing tolerance, patience and kindness is always the better, more open approach. And always remember that if someone attacks you directly, then it often means they are somehow struggling or hurting. It usually serves no real purpose to attack them back.
Home Is Still Where The Heart Is
This is a traumatic, stressful time in history for many of us, especially since there is so much confusing news and information to process and assimilate. We can, however, do a number of things during this extremely stressful period to make our lives easier, instead of cowering under the bed until it all blows over. Most importantly, we can choose to face reality with gratitude, courage and fortitude.
There should be precautions put into place certainly, but also there should be some joy and happiness, as well as planning for the future. We should be taking advantage of this blissful and happy downtime inside the place where we usually love, hope and live – inside our personal domicile, our home.
Never before have we had such ample opportunity to get to know our loved ones in a more intimate and connected way. Never before have we been reminded so deeply of the many reasons we have to be thankful for. This is a unique time in our lives, during which we can teach our children, as well as each other, that what appears to be a bleak and dire moment can certainly be turned around and changed into one of joy, appreciation and merriment.
Instead of sitting around feeling miserable, many parents have, for example, been contriving makeshift toys, contraptions and activities to help children continue to be happy and carefree, as they should be, whether it be indoors, or in their own backyard.
There are also many adults who are taking advantage of this ‘alone time’ to reconnect, not only with others whom they may have been unintentionally neglecting, but also getting to know and understand themselves on a deeper level.
Now Is The Time To Invest In Yourself
Throughout our childhood, we receive advice from family and teachers on how we should succeed in life. Study hard. Get good grades. Go to college for a quality career. Get married and have a family. Buy the dream home. Financial success and prosperity. Provide for your family. Send your kids to college. Become proud grandparents.
In reality, our real life experiences can throw us major curve balls, and impact what we envision as our dream future. In the same vein, life experiences create magnificent opportunities. Well-meaning guidance and suggestions from family and friends is beneficial. It is to be part of our consideration. It can give us goals, and affirm what we know about ourselves.
Careers can include being of service. A social worker, doctor, nurse, lawyer, first-responder, accountant, veterinarian, military, waitperson. A career in science. A researcher, chemist, biologist, architect, engineering. A career in entertainment. An artist, musician, dancer, playwright, author, actor, composer.
The career you choose is, however, to be one that nurture’s your heart as a priority. It should give you a feeling of passion and purpose, rather than financial security. Financial security is a goal one needs to have a degree of focus upon. We do need money to pay our bills, to support our family and lifestyle, to finance our dreams. Money being ‘the root of all evil’ is a fallacy. Money is a form of energy exchange. It has no judgment. It can influence or impede financial security. It is what you do with it that matters. But financial security is often temporary and based on your decisions and emotions.
Enter into your career choice with enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for knowledge. It may turn out that your career changes as you grow older. Jobs will definitely change through the years. You may be an individual who says, “Money does not matter or drive me.” This is a learned, mental paradigm picked up from your upbringing and childhood environment. Change it. Start thinking of how you can use financial security to benefit others.
Aligning Yourself With Abundance
We tend to focus a lot of mental and emotional energy on abundance and prosperity. Which is a good thing. As humans we are meant to live an abundant life. However, I have talked to many clients that have been focusing their attention on abundance, but say that they only experience lack.
From a metaphysical and spiritual perspective there are several reasons why this may occur. The first is that people are often unclear about what they want. Second, it is common for individuals to invest their energies on limited mindsets about abundance, or a lack of trust. The third primary reason why people don’t achieve what they say they want, is that they focus on what is absent, rather than on what is present in their lives.
The first challenge, that many of us must overcome to experience true abundance, is to be clear about what we really want. Too often people seeking abundance simply think that a certain amount of money in their lives will fix their problems. However, abundance is often less about money, and more about a personal sense of security and stability.
True abundance is not the amount of money one has in the bank. Abundance is about having enough time and freedom to do what we want to do in our lives. True abundance is the freedom to achieve personal goals and enough energy to create happy and fulfilling relationships. And yes, money too. Money is certainly one factor to the equation. However, many things that people say that they want can be achieved without having access to a limitless amount of money.