guidance
Receiving Spiritual Guidance From Your Ancestors
The ancient tradition of ancestor worship is a powerful, yet often misunderstood spiritual practice. It is typically viewed as a form of idolatry, mainly because of the inaccurate use of the term ‘worship.’
In truth most cultures practicing such rites do not refer to it as ‘ancestor worship.’ The more appropriate terms to use is ‘ancestor reverence’ or ‘ancestor veneration,’ because it is about living descendants paying respect to and seeking the guidance of their loved ones in spirit.
It is a common practice among indigenous people and an integral component of most shamanic traditions. It is not the same as the worship of gods or deities.
In fact, as a spiritual practice it is not much different from looking at old pictures of departed loved ones and rememembering them fondly. We might even tell them how we miss them or share our problems with them. Some of us have even asked them to help us find solutions to problems, or pull a few strings on our behalf from the Other Side.
Although I cannot say I have any special reverence for my ancestors, I do respect them for all the trials and tribulations they experienced while they were in this life. In my ancestral lineage there were courageous prisoner-of-war experiences, the conquering of grievous setbacks and material harships, and even suicides, to mention but a few. Several of my predecessors had truly unique, and even exceptional life stories that still dwell in my cellular memories.
The ancestral technique I use in my spiritual practice is similar to that of the Yoruba people of West Africa. My greatest connection is with my father, and he is the one I communicate with daily in the Yoruba fashion. You can create an altar or sacred space in your home for this purpose.
Less Is More When They ‘Know It All’
Some people just don’t like to hear the truth. Do you also know people who seem to avoid you, because they know you’re potentially going to say it like it is? They recognize you as a person who speaks the truth based on plain common sense.
I have known people who have very little common sense and really do not want help, advice, guidance or direction from anyone. They know it all. That is just the way it is with them. The ego can make us not want to take honest advice, and thus we do not have the advantage of learning and growing with help from others who may have more experience or wisdom. I have learned the fine art of silence when I am around these people. I feel awkward, because those who know what I do for a living realize that they are pretty much transparent in my eyes, when they are around me.
I especially have a very hard time when I am around certain people, because you see the damage they are doing to themselves and others. You want to share a better way with them, but you have to let them follow their own path. It may seem like an unnecessary struggle for them, but maybe they are supposed to go through all that pain and heartache. It may be a part of their unique spiritual journey towards soul growth.
Protect your energy by knowing when to practice the art of silence with people who ‘know it all.’ You can’t resonate with everyone, and it is especially pointless if they don’t appreciate it. Why use up all that precious energy if they are only going to be disrespectful?
Karmic Fate Versus Free Will Manifestation
We often say things are ‘meant to be,’ or it was ‘fated’ and therefore out of our hands entirely. But is this really true? How much of what happens in our life is pure luck, chance, or predestined fate? How much of our destiny do we actually control?
Many people also believe that we are able to manifest whatever we want. But how is this even possible if there is such a thing as fate? If predestination or divine will rules part, or even most of our life, then surely there must be limitations or restrictions to what we can manifest?
Well, not exactly. There is fate, but there is also free will.
It is my understanding that fate is related to our karmic life lessons, while free will is our capacity to make choices and manifest aspects of our life as we desire. Many people do this unconsciously most of the time. However, as much as we have free will, the karmic lessons we have to learn are still woven into our life choices and integrated with our manifestations.
So, some aspects of our lives are indeed fated certainties. For example, experiencing certain major life events or traumas. These immutable, unchangeable events or outcomes are related to the karmic lessons we have selected to work through in this lifetime.
If a chosen karmic lesson is, for example, is tied to the experience of infertility it may be ‘fated’ that the person who chose this path will not be able to have children of their own in this lifetime, or will at least struggle to do so. This is an example of how a karmic lesson can limit or restrict manifestation. But, while it may preclude the experience of parenthood in this lifetime, it does not block the potential manifestation of parenting experiences – there are other options open to becoming a parent, such as adoption, fostering, or a blended family.
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
How To Work With Oracle Cards
I like to use oracle or angel cards when I do readings, because they provide the client with a visual element. This makes the process of reading seem more tangible, and less intimidating. In fact, these user-friendly cards are so accessible that they can be used by anyone in their daily spiritual practice.
My regular clients know that I use the terms ‘angel cards’ and ‘oracle cards’ interchangeably. They are basically decks of cartomancy cards similar to traditional Tarot, but they tend to have more positive messages, images and symbolism than the Tarot.
The many ways one can use oracle cards in your personal practice are only limited by your imagination. For example, you could pull a card and use it as a journal prompt, and then use freewriting or brainstorming to explore how you’re feeling about a certain topic or issue.
You can also ask a question, hold the cards to your heart, and then select the cards you feel most drawn to for the answer. Once you have selected the cards, I advise clients to truly ‘listen’ to the story the cards are telling you. What thoughts, feelings and intuitions do the images and words evoke? How do they correspond with the other cards you selected? What are the common themes?
If it’s helpful you can place cards in a divination spread, or you could pull just one at a time. A simple oracle spread you can try uses only three cards. The first card indicates the past, the second the present (the anchor card), and the third reveals the future.
Sometimes, when a particular card doesn’t seem to provide an instant, clear answer, take a closer look at the different visual elements of the card. For example, what is the person in the picture wearing? Are there any images in the background that provide additional insight or inspiration?
Don’t Walk On Eggshells Anymore!
Do you often find yourself around people that make you feel like you have to monitor every single thing you say, for fear you may be hurting their feelings? Do you constantly have to be cautious and guarded around certain people in your life, because they internalize everything you say? It really is like walking on eggshells!
I used to have a friend like that. At first I complied, but then one day I decided to start talking like I would normally talk to my other friends. I wanted to see what effect it would have on this person. Well, it actually helped in the end, as it soon made her see how silly she was being. In fact, she even confessed to how she felt bad for reacting as if the entire world revolved around her and her feelings. It turned out to be a meaningful opportunity for her personal growth.
Also, have you ever known anyone whom you shared some inner most concern or anxiety with, and they act like you are making a mountain out of a molehill? You trusted them by sharing your inner most fear or heartache, and they react like it is nothing or you are just being silly. They may even turn around and act as if what you are saying is just plain wrong, or irrelevant! As a highly sensitive person I have experienced this many times in my life and it’s no fun, trust me. And if you’re like me, you just stop talking to this person all together about anything that may deeply matter to you.
These interpersonal experiences can be frustrating and hurtful, but also very valuable to learn from. As soon as this kind of interaction happens with someone, it is useful to reflect on whom you can really trust and have faith in, and who not. If you become more aware of whom you surround yourself with, more people will come into your life that will truly hear you and really have compassion and a deep understanding of what you’re trying to impart. They will also be willing and able to give great advice and be a great sounding board for you, without being egotistical or simply uncaring!
The Good Old Days Of Tribal Service
Someone once asked me the question: why do you do what you do? Most psychics might say that they do it because they love helping people. I gave it careful some thought and realized my answer would be the same, but under different terms. That isn’t to say that I don’t love helping others, but there would be different boundaries, if I was free to choose.
I work in the New Age ways, as well as in the indigenous traditions, and I pride myself on the knowledge I have gained in order to truly blend the East with the West. If I had a choice, I would work in the indigenous tradition of my ancestors, especially regarding how one is remunerated for your service.
In the indigenous way, each village had a spiritual person that they called by various names, including Medicine Man, Shaman, Healer, Guru, Oracle, Soothsayer. It was the way in those cultures to take care of the spiritual leaders of the tribe, in terms of their material needs. They shared equally whatever they had with their spiritual leader.
As a result, the spiritual leader didn’t have to focus any of his time on meeting his material needs, such as keeping a roof over his head, or thinking in terms of where his next meal would come from. Instead, he could devote all of his time and energy to spiritual matters.
His payment for his gifts didn’t include whatever the tribe used for money or barter, or if it did, it was not thought of in the same context. In other words, anyone in his tribe could come to him at anytime, with any kind of spiritual issue, and he could address it however he deemed necessary, according to his own sense of direction and spirit guidance. He didn’t have to consider time, energy, and money. He didn’t have to require payment in terms of the time he spent or what was required, because he was so esteemed by his people that they took care of his worldly needs, so he could devote himself to their spiritual needs completely. What a concept! Right?