Helping Children Navigate Divorce

When parents get divorced it is always difficult for the entire family. Navigating through this time is usually challenging. There is also no manual or guidebook for how to do things the right way, so parents have to figure it out as they go.

Same with the children. It can be very scary for them not knowing what to expect and sometimes feeling obligated to take sides. It can be a very sad, stressful time for children, especially when parents are so caught up in their disputes and drama that they lose sight of what is best for their kids. The kids are not the ones getting the divorce.

However, I believe most parents really do try to do their best to soften the blow and make it work for everyone involved.

Children tend to want to please their parents and not cause further upset. So, tend to not speak up. They sometimes suppress their feelings of hurt, resentment or fear. Sometime children feel like they need to choose one parent over another.

Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and their needs considered. It is therefore best to listen to all sides before making decisions. Going through this process can be tricky. You do not want your child to feel neglected or abandoned in the process.

Understanding your children’s needs and feelings, and dealing with it, is the first step into helping your child get through it with the least amount of trauma. If a parent finds this difficult to ascertain, then it is wise for them to get some professional help and guidance.

Children are not yet able to express themselves like adults do. Depending on their age, they are not always equipped to deal with such situations.  That is why therapy, or counseling can be very helpful to deal with these kinds of situations.

Children ought not to be victims of the choices adults make for them ~ Wade Horn

A divorce can also be much less distressing for everyone involved if one, or both parents are spiritually aware and able to follow a healthy moral compass in dealing with their spouse. It is not about who is wrong or right, but about what is best for the children. Their needs should come first.

Despite the stress of it all, a relationship break-up, separation or divorce is not the time to neglect one’s daily spiritual practice. In fact, it should instead be a time of increased prayer, meditation and other spiritual pursuits. Asking God, Source, Spirit, the Divine for guidance and support in these matters can make all the difference.