Healing The Pain Of Losing Your Beloved

Understanding the true nature of our soul journey, how does one cope with the pain of physical separation when our loved ones leave the physical form? There is no easy way to cope with the grief of separation from a beloved. It opens the water ways of deep emotion that rise and fall like the waves on the sea.

Even in the super-excellent times of Radha and Krishna, the supreme divine feminine and masculine described in the ancient spiritual texts of Srimad-Bhagavatam, waves of love in separation were displayed and described to the ultimate pure degree. These transcendental writings identifies the eternal realm of divine love as the original clear source of all that we experience here in a dimly reflected form, including the pain of being parted from the physical presence of a dear soulmate.

So, what can we learn from this source that we can mirror in undergoing this heart aching distress in our own lives?

The first lesson we can take away from the transcendental example is that pain in separation is a gift of love. It arises in direct proportion to the depth of the soul-to-soul connection shared between two people. Thus, every pang, however painful, is like an ornament decorating the heart with the truth of that blessed union. It embodies a reminder not only of the person, but of the great treasure we were fortunate to hold in our arms…and still in our hearts. It invites us to feel grateful for the rare opportunity we had received to experience such deep love in this world.

They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp ~ Anne Lamotta

Then, as we traverse the vast expanse of emotions, we can take shelter of that which is eternal. The body and relationships based upon misidentification with it, are temporary. But the soul and God are eternal, as are relationships, with that absolute truth at the center.

Within such a framework of spiritual conception, we can now look to practical aids to ease our pain, or at least help us navigate our way through it. One important and effective element is acceptance. What we resist persists. But if we remind ourselves to accept that the pain is a natural, par for the course, which ebbs and flows, then when it rolls in, we can practice just being with it, trusting it will ride out with the tide again, just as quickly as it came in.

Being with the emotion means allowing yourself to feel it completely. If it brings you to your knees, makes you feel like doubling over and crying out all your tears, then let it! The sooner you do, the sooner it will move through you, and be on its way. Emotion is energy in motion. When we try to stop it, it gets stuck in our bodies and causes physical pain. So, let it flow, and let it go!

Movement is a wonderful way, also, to express and release these painful emotions. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Just listen to your body and your heart, and move as you are honestly ‘moved to move.’

The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to? ~  Jeanette Winterson

Meanwhile, praying for the ongoing devotional development and well-being of your dearly departed, will be beneficial for both of you. You can continue communicating with your loved one in spirit. There are no barriers of time and space for the soul, so you need not wait for a future lifetime, or arriving at a spiritual destination, to be reunited. You can keep the conversation going even here and now, by speaking to them in your heart, or writing letters to them in your journal, or connecting with them in a mediumship reading.

The gift of pure love in separation is that it intensifies that love. Therefore, even when your beloved’s soul has left their body, and your physical presence, your love will continue to live, grow, deepen, and flourish as you access the relationship spiritually.