Love & Relationships
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.
When Too-Close-For-Comfort Reveals The Truth
So, here is something new, which I have not heard before in my work: distraught clients asking for help while quarantined with their partner or spouse. For some, being cooped up with their significant other is apparently not going very well!
The circumstances that we are all going through at the moment, is forcing us to take another look at our closest relationships and see if they are meant to be long lasting, or if it is only a chapter or season in our life. Some relationships start off wonderful like a TV commercial, one minute it is heavenly, and then one day not so much.
So, let me share a recent Tarot reading I did for a gentleman, who said it helped them a lot during this too-close-for-comfort time at home with his wife. Who knows, maybe it will be of value to you too? It might just rescue your mental health, happiness and well-being…until they let the two of you out of the house again.
He said that he is a great problem-solver, but just can’t figure out how to make this marriage work. He never saw certain aspects of his wife’s personality, until he has now been forced to have to be around her for a very long extended period of time during the Covid-19 lockdown. He also admitted that sometimes it’s hard to really connect his feelings to things going on in his life, only because he “can be moody.” But we soon discovered the real truth about his toxic relationship.
In the reading, I saw that he has had many relationships in his life and he acknowledged that he had been married several times. I said that I felt it did not work out because he didn’t get the necessary support he needed from his mates in the past.
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
On The Positive Side Of A Pandemic
These are painful, difficult times. There is a lot of uncertainty in our world and it is so hard to see so many people suffering. However, there are also many beautiful, magical, heroic moments happening everywhere on the planet.
These moments of unity and love, occurring at the same time as so much hardship and pain is occurring, is what will matter most in the end. It is important during times like this to balance the darkness with the light. In today’s post, I wish to therefore focus on some of these more uplifting, inspirational trends of recent weeks.
There is a man in Spain whose upstairs neighbor was in the hospital due to a Covid-19 infection. The man reached up high every night and fed the hospitalized man’s dog on the balcony of his apartment, thus keeping the dog alive throughout the owner’s hospitalization. Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can have the most lasting impact.
In some places, pet shelters have been emptying with more people recently adopting cats and dogs as companions. In the process more animals are being spared euthanasia and given good homes. Many people are now being comforted and loved by their new fur babies during a difficult time.
Nurses, doctors, truck drivers, janitors, grocery store workers and many other service workers are now being praised as heroes. There is a new appreciation for the important work they do. Some wealthy people have donating money, time and energy to feed people and support the unemployed.
A Unique Time For Human Connection
This is a unique opportunity in human history. We have more time now to expand our awareness and understanding, and to take the guidance from the sages of the ages to find peace in a tumultuous situation. One of the most unique aspects of the current situation is related to human connection.
At a time when we are being asked to practice social distancing, we also have a unique opportunity to be connected through social media and video conferencing. I am amazed at the opportunity that the miracle of technology has given us. Many of these technologies were not available 20 years ago.
Recently, I have been seeing stories about the kindness and compassion people are showing during this time. All the communication technology we have at our disposal enables us to connect with one another at a deeper level.
I would also recommend not focusing too much of your mental and emotional attention only on yourself at this time. The current situation is not just about you, and when we focus too much energy on what we are going to do or how this will affect us on a personal level, it only increases our sense of anxiety about the unknown.
If you are currently finding yourself with more free time, also do not just use this as an opportunity to only binge on television or movies. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with watching television or movies, but this is also an opportunity to expand your interpersonal connections in a unique way. This is a time where we can extend our energies on compassion and kindness toward our fellow humans.
From Separation Comes Unity
During my morning meditation, I became very aware of the isolation many people are currently experiencing, from having to self-quarantine or shelter in place.
Some are trapped in close quarters with family members, whom they don’t get along with, while others are solitary and feeling very alone. Whatever the circumstances, this is not easy for any of us, day after day, while grim news keeps coming in from the outside world.
In the Tarot there is a card, The Hermit, depicting an old, wise man who has chosen to retreat and isolate himself from the rest of the world. The card symbolizes spiritual isolation and social distancing, in order to seek wisdom and understanding within; to confront one’s inner demons, such as addictions, dependencies, habits or patterns; as well as learning to not rely on others, but to form one’s own opinions.
The Hermit card teaches us to find an inner solace and strength, a light within. There is much that we can learn from his wisdom. In normal life, we get so caught up in the mundane routines of everyday life, that we seldom pay attention to our inner being. We also spend so much time texting and scrolling through social media, that we get caught up in other’s opinions, attitudes and experiences, that we lose touch with our inner compass.
One of my Tarot mentors described The Hermit card as, “Stop the world, I want to get off.” It certainly seems in many ways that our world has been stopped in its tracks (but the planet itself has not stopped spinning). Many have nowhere to turn at this point, but inward. This may be a blessing in disguise in many ways.
Finding Hope In A Scary World
The recent events worldwide are terrifying and daunting for most of us. Due to the Covid-19 pandemic our world is not well, and we are all in need of courage, hope and healing.
We cannot control the entire world, or every aspect of our future, but we surely can choose how we react to what is happening to us, and to the world.
Although the world is scary right now, know that there are opportunities for personal and spiritual growth for all of us during this time. Consider the following to make the most of the current circumstances.
Mindfulness
Take a deep breath. Hold it. The release, and repeat. Cultivating a calm, hopeful approach to the challenges we will encounter over the next several months, will bring you peace as you navigate through this time.
Take some time every day to find your calm place within, where you can focus on hope and inner peace. Meditate and calm your fears. Spend some time in your ‘happy place.’