Healing
The Power Of Gratitude In Difficult Times
It is just as important to express gratitude and appreciation when we face the difficult times in our life, as it is when things are going well. In fact, it is even more important to express it during the hard times.
When our lives are on a downswing, the last thing on most people’s hearts or minds is to be thankful, or in a state of appreciation and joy. When we are struggling, our soul tends to be more aware of the negative energy of what is going on around us. This can ultimately attract the manifestation of even more negative energy, stressful situations and unpleasant events. In the end, even more bad days will come our way.
However, when we decide to stand strong and stop the downward spiral of our energy, and to be grateful for all of life’s lessons, whether good or bad, our energy begin to shift for the better.
When I pay my bills (a task that most of us really do not enjoy), I always write thank you under the last entry in my bank journal. When I think of the reason for doing this, especially when it means spending money on things that are not tangible and sitting in my hand, the explanation comes very easily. I am saying thank you for actually having the money to pay these bills – the hydro bill so I can have lights, the gas bill so I can have heat in the winter, the credit card bill for those urgent things I had to purchase, and the medical bill that allowed me to purchase the medication I need to keep my health in check, and so on. Even though these things may not be material things that I can feel or see every day, it means something at some point to make my life better.
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.
The Spiritual Power Of Your Voice
With so many talent shows on television these days, there seems to be so much singing talent all over world. The exposure created by these reality shows allows otherwise unheard of individuals to find an international platform for their gifts. Some of their voices bring us alive, others pull back our deeper layers of emotion, and some simply reduce us to tears.
There are youngsters taking the stage on some of these shows who have the voices of angels. Some have never even had a day’s professional vocal training and yet, they sing like they’ve had years of coaching to develop what is already a beautiful gift. They were clearly born with their gift. Like many inventors, and also great composers of music and literature, they bring in many lifetimes of their gifts to share with us.
My father was a singer and songwriter and had a lovely voice. He became quite famous when I was still very young. His voice would get people in a happy, nostalgic frame of mind with his sing-along compositions and, as a good-looking man, he sure got the ladies swooning with his ballads!
“If you look inside my throat and inside that of a person who cannot hold a tune, nor has quality in their singing voice, the anatomy is just the same,” he told me once. He then asked me a question, which really was food for thought: “So, where does a beautiful voice come from?”
Learning To Love Yourself
Sadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond. Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.
With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.
Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.
Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Apologies From The Other Side
Departed loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.
For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.
I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.
As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.
Healing Painful Soul Memories
Every moment in our life creates a soul memory. Some of those memories are wonderful, and some are dreadful. The most horrific memories can be buried so deep, that the are no longer conscious memories, but they still affect how we move forward in life.
For example, a person who was sexually abused as a child may gain excessive weight or become self-destructive in their habits, in order to punish themselves, or to protect themselves from being the source of someone wanting to abuse them again. Because this abuse can happen at such a young age, the child may not have a conscious recollection of it until something in the present triggers it. They often have the barriers of protection they have created, but they do not know why.
When a trigger comes to surface that brings up a subconscious soul memory, it needs to be dealt with, or it will start to eat away at all the enjoyment in a person’s life. It will ruin their relationships, friendships and even work relationships, because the person simply cannot function at their true and full capacity with joy in their soul.
How do you heal painful soul memories? It takes a lot of work. It does not happen in a moment, or overnight. It is a matter of looking at each aspect, one at a time, forgiving what happened, forgiving yourself for carrying it for so long, and releasing it from your soul memory.