Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart

Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.

Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.

After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.

I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.

My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.

Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.

Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.

Better to be blind and see with your heart, than to have two good eyes and see nothing ~ Helen Keller

I watched my friend grow increasingly depressed and out of touch with reality. This soon impacted her health, as she was developing a severe form of arthritis, that made movement very difficult. In essence, her physical body began to mirror her mental state of being. She was intent on remaining stuck in the past, and her body followed suit.

A true friend never abandons someone in distress, but there are unfortunately also times when space must be given to allow someone to journey to the depths of their pain, especially following a severe breakup. I gave my friend the time and space to do just that. I also ‘set a timer’ to provide a healthy intervention if needed. And I checked in periodically, with a short phone call or a visit to drop off something tasty and nourishing.

In time, I began to see that old familiar sparkle come back into my friend’s eyes. Within a few months, she began to openly speak about why that relationship was never really ideal for her. She now talked about the signs she had received from Spirit, from day one, that this particular man was not the one for her.

One of these signs involved an incident, on their first date, while they were driving along a busy highway. With shock they realized that they were driving against traffic in a one-way lane! On their second date, they drove to the mountains above the coast, and were caught in a fog so heavy that they could not navigate. My personal favorite was the time they went white water rafting and a strong current pulled them under. My friend emerged from the water soaking wet, and completely disheveled.

As she shared her memories of these unusual events with me, our shock and awe soon turned into uncontrollable laughter – the healing kind of laughter that forces all the pain to come up from your core.

While no one is perfect, she also disclosed that she realized all along that there are darker challenges that her ex-boyfriend faces, that impedes him from establishing a healthy relationship with anyone.

All you have to do is pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step ~ Paulo Coelho

In retrospect, my friend saw the warning signs, yet held on to the idea that her life would not be whole without a partner, even if he brought trouble.

She eventually took back her personal power and became whole again as a woman. And as her mental state became more positive, so too did her health. Today, she has no issues with her physical mobility and can barely recall those crippling episodes with arthritis. This newfound sense of self has also helped her to attract a much more suitable mate, and my friend is now blissfully happy and in love with her wonderful husband!

As a spiritual counselor, I frequently consult with individuals on Psychic Access, who have lost sight of the warning signs provided by Spirit. Often, they will disclose that their intuition provided information that they ignored, because the idea of being alone overshadowed making a better choice. We have all experienced this, and each of us has held on to something or someone, when letting go was the best course of action.

While personal challenges, including heartbreak, cannot always be prevented, we must pay closer attention to the signs provided by Spirit, and make wiser choices that are right for us. The endless rewards of making the right choices far outweigh the rusty old anchors that come with holding on to the wrong choices for too long.