News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

narcissism

When Enough Is Enough

87387574rRecently, I have had some life experiences which changed my view on how to handle certain situations. Maybe its Uranus’s influence, moving into Taurus recently, that has prompted my sudden shift in behavior and attitude? Or maybe, enough has just finally become enough.

While I love helping people and doing readings, I am also a fixed sign and an Earth element, which means I flourish in endeavors focused on concrete things, such as real estate. So, it’s no surprise that aside from doing psychic mediumship work, I also own and manage multiple rental properties.

Late last year, one of my tenants was going through a tough time. So, I offered to help her by doing a pro bono reading for them. Later, I was delighted when I received feedback that things were getting better for them, and that things were unfolding as I had predicted.

A couple of weeks ago, I received news that they had decided to act on the advice given in the reading, and were now moving out in June. While I was saddened to see them leave, I was somewhat relieved that I could now find more stable tenants for that property. In the same sentence, she asked if I minded doing another reading for them both, before they left the property. I gladly agreed and scheduled the reading for the next day.

After the reading was again done free of charge, they proceeded to inform me of their intentions to not honor the terms on their lease! With each sentence they spoke, the information became more and more dreadful. I’m sure by the time they had finished, my mouth was a gaping hole. I was in complete shock over what they had told me.

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The Integrity Of Being Non-Judgmental

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This is the age of being non-judgmental. So, does this mean you love and accept your neighbor who is a registered sex offender? Do you not say anything to your best friend when her partner is cheating on her, or stealing from her, because you don’t want to judge and be negative? Where does being non-judgmental begin and end? And what if non-judgment is really cowardice instead?

Native people all over the world, before so-called civilization, did not have police or prisons. Tribal members held each other accountable, on many different levels. You could not act in a way that was harmful to the rest of the tribe, without someone calling you out and bringing you before the elders, the shamans, or the tribal council. Tribes would punish or exile any person that caused harm to the tribe.

These days, if you dare call anyone out for their misconduct, you risk being branded as negative and judgmental, and told you need to practice unconditional love. Sadly, this means that it usually takes decades of abuse, before something like the Me Too movement, or any form of human or civil rights abuse is finally brought into the light and confronted.

Sociology and Social Psychology label tribal culture as form of collectivism, meaning the good of the majority comes first, before the needs of the individual. But in some circles fearmongers prefer to label collectivist behavior as ‘socialism’ or ‘communism.’ Continue reading

How To Be That One Person

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comBeing a ‘helper’ in someone’s life is a sacred task. To be the one person who believes deeply in another, who ‘sees’ them despite their current circumstances, to be that person who expects them to be bigger than they are, who helps them see and reach beyond where they are now, and who never abandons them, while managing to hold your own space and not get victimized or abused by their lashing out… these are the actions and  expressions of spiritual maturity expressed as universal love.

Universal love and tolerance is not a choice for ‘weenies.’ It is in fact a hero’s journey. By the way, I do not use the term ‘unconditional love,’ because I feel it is an overused cliché and it too often implies a world of hugs, kisses, complements and affirmations – and that is not all that love is. Those expressions of love are often the self-gratification addiction of a wounded person, who needs to be thanked and adored for giving ‘love’ to someone else. It is typically also the trademarks of a co-dependent, or narcissist.

Hugs and kisses represent only one aspect of love. It is the safest and most fun aspect of ‘showing love.’ However, love is not simply all about physical tokens and making someone else ‘feel good,’ so you also can feel good. To be a loving, spiritually aware, humble, strong ‘secret agent’ of love goes way beyond dishing out hugs and kisses.

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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Friendship And The Empath

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFriends are a wonderful addition to our lives. In some cases they even take the place of family of origin, and become our chosen family. A healthy friendship is a balanced one – give and take, trust, loyalty, acceptance and truth delivered with compassion. Unfortunately, for the empath, friendship can also be treacherous territory, sometimes rife with debbie downers, energy thieves, and psychic vampires.

There are different levels of friendship, from casual social friendships to those we call ‘best friends.’ These best friends are ones with whom we feel safe sharing our deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.

Social media has made it much easier in recent years to connect with friends. With a click of the keyboard a new friend can be made or an old acquaintance rekindled. Social media sites have even recognized the importance of providing the choice of putting people into the appropriate category, such as people from work or close friends. People can be also unfriended, blocked or reported if they are out of bounds, and what is seen publicly by our friends can be limited.

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Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.

But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.

An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.

There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.

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Releasing A Toxic Relationship

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMany of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.

So many excuses, so little truth.

It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.

It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.

You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.

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