News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

narcissism

When Too-Close-For-Comfort Reveals The Truth

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSo, here is something new, which I have not heard before in my work: distraught clients asking for help while quarantined with their partner or spouse. For some, being cooped up with their significant other is apparently not going very well!

The circumstances that we are all going through at the moment, is forcing us to take another look at our closest relationships and see if they are meant to be long lasting, or if it is only a chapter or season in our life. Some relationships start off wonderful like a TV commercial, one minute it is heavenly, and then one day not so much.

So, let me share a recent Tarot reading I did for a gentleman, who said it helped them a lot during this too-close-for-comfort time at home with his wife. Who knows, maybe it will be of value to you too? It might just rescue your mental health, happiness and well-being…until they let the two of you out of the house again.

He said that he is a great problem-solver, but just can’t figure out how to make this marriage work. He never saw certain aspects of his wife’s personality, until he has now been forced to have to be around her for a very long extended period of time during the Covid-19 lockdown. He also admitted that sometimes it’s hard to really connect his feelings to things going on in his life, only because he “can be moody.” But we soon discovered the real truth about his toxic relationship.

In the reading, I saw that he has had many relationships in his life and he acknowledged that he had been married several times. I said that I felt it did not work out because he didn’t get the necessary support he needed from his mates in the past.

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What Is My Gift?

Click Here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comRecently, during a reading, someone asked me what her ‘gift’ was. When asked why she wanted to know this, she said, “Because I don’t want to continue studying or working, unless I know I am going to succeed and be really good at it.” My jaw dropped.

To me that is like saying, “I will only get married, and have a children, if there is a guarantee that it will all work out!” Even if you have a so-called ‘gift,’ it doesn’t mean you will be ‘successful’ at it in earth plane terms. Jesus, Buddha, and many other spiritual teachers, did not become rich and famous in their lifetimes. They used their ‘gifts,’ talents and lives for the greater good, because they believed in what they were doing.

In my days as a performing artist, I saw many gifted, brilliant dancers choosing to abandon the dance studio to raise children. I saw mediocre or physically challenged dancers, with no family support, work, and work, and work, to become brilliant dancers… while others thought they were simply ‘gifted.’

Sadly this idea of having a special ‘gift’ has become a cash cow for the self-help industry. Tell someone they have a gift, and they will hand over thousands of dollars to attend workshops and seminar to develop their ‘gift.’ And the so-called teacher gets to feel good for getting others hyped up about having a gift, for which there is no evidence, and therefore they cannot be held accountable when nothing materializes.

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Is Your ‘Soulmate’ A Narcissistic Predator?

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comHe must be your soulmate, or twin flame, because he knows you so well. He has taught you so many things about yourself. Surely, this means he is ‘the one.’ I don’t think so. You might want to say something like this regarding your therapist, teacher or healer, but even then I would still be careful.

If you are constantly looking for someone to ‘get’ you, or yearning to be understood on a ‘deeper level,’ you might as well have a target on your back that says: prey. If you are so wounded and empty that you need to be constantly affirmed by another, then you need some serious healing, prolonged growth work on your Self, your inner child and your relationship with your Higher Self and Source.

Even when working with a spiritual teacher or healer, if they are doing most of the work for you, telling you all about your Self, then they are merely telling you a narrative, a story. Stories don’t solve problems, or heal. Information or data does not heal. It can point you in the right direction, but ultimately information does not heal, action does.

So if your healer, teacher, therapist or counselor is telling you all about your Self and that is all they are doing, you might want to reconsider. Reevaluate how much help you are actually getting. It is only a mental boost to receive this kind of information. In other words, your brain feels temporarily happy with the excitement of words. But it is ‘drug’ that will wear off quickly. Soon, you will then trotting off in search of another high.

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Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”

Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.

Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.

If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate.  The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.

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Take Back Your Power!

CLICK HERE for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comEveryone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!

When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.

If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.

During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.

The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!

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Thank You For Leaving Me

Click Here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comHeartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”

Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.

I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.

Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.

I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.

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Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner

click here for a free psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comWe all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?

Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.

Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.

So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.

Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.

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