narcissism
Your Soulmate Buddy Is A Keeper!
This year I have been hearing of more friendships ending like never before. I believe there may be a cosmic influence at play which currently prompts the clearing out of the old to let in the new.
I have witnessed this trends also in a couple of my own friendships, which initially I thought would last a life-time, but they ended quite suddenly. In hindsight those friendships ended in my best interest, and who knows, perhaps in the best interest of the other parties too.
One such friendship was very toxic all the way through, but I now realize that I was probably enabling this friend, both on the phone and in person, by always being available to her. Meanwhile, she had been bad mouthing me and spreading vicious rumors about my personal life and my relationship with my father. This cut me deeply in the end, but I was only too glad that my dad, who was still alive at the time, never got to hear any of this. He would have been devastated that something so evil could be fabricated about me.
A Spiritual Approach To Chronic Complainers
Don’t complain, don’t ever complain. These are words I read in a book long ago, and they have stuck in my mind ever since. However, I certainly seem to have attracted a lot of complainers into my life – moaners and critics who have taken the very process to an art form! Amongst these individuals are family, friends and love relationships, and they are all challenging in their own way.
I have come to the conclusion that the lesson those souls have given me, is to rise above the irritation, and perhaps to try and see their predicament and unhappiness from a place of compassion. I have since managed to become less affected by other people’s groaning, because I stopped thinking that their displeasure might be my fault, or that I could ‘fix’ them and turn them from a ‘cup-half-empty’ type of person to a ‘cup-half full.’
Learning To Deal With Toxic Individuals
If, as many teachings suggest, there is spiritual growth in every experience, and in particular the more difficult times, then being strongly affected by another person’s negative behavior must also be one of life’s lessons.
I have been pondering this because of the increase in psychic reading calls I have been getting related to this very topic. Some of my clients have been profoundly upset lately by the negative outbursts of people in their lives, including family, friends, partners, work colleagues, or even random altercations in public places.
I love these words from the poem Desiderata: “Avoid the loud and the aggressive – they are vexations to the spirit.” How very true. However, more often than not, we are not in the position to avoid those individuals altogether, in order to escape their toxic influence. Even in a friendship turned sour, we often want to give the toxic friend the benefit of the doubt, knowing that they don’t always behave that way. We might even be in love with a negative person, hoping we can change them one day. Continue reading
Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading