narcissism
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
Tarot Cards And Toxic Relationships
If intuition is the foundation for being a psychic, then divination tools are like putting on glasses to see the details. Tarot cards can reveal a person’s real intentions and provide a bigger picture into any situation that requires clarity.
When I use the Tarot for a love or relationship reading, I look for specific cards or combinations that show harmony or growth within the relationship or person. Here is a list of cards that typically catch my eye as major red flags, or signal that the connection between two people may be toxic.
The Magician
This card can be positive when surrounded by complimentary cards, but it can indicate that the person you’re interested may be charming… but manipulative. I often see this show up when someone only wants to do what they want, or when they want to be with multiple people. Continue reading
Releasing Toxic People In Your Life
Every person has at some point in their life had a person in their life whom they believed had their best interests at heart. Yet, that person blind-sided them by doing or saying something to knock them off kilter. This happens to the best of us.
Often we continue to believe that this person will change, that they are our true friend. But they might just be using us, and we allow it. They might take from us, and we allow it. They might advance themselves because of something we did, and then when the roles or positions are reversed, they will let greed and ego take over and knock us to our knees.
This kind of thing happens in life and in relationships all the time. I do not feel any of us is totally exempt from this – whether we were the one being used, or the one using someone else.
Your Soulmate Buddy Is A Keeper!
This year I have been hearing of more friendships ending like never before. I believe there may be a cosmic influence at play which currently prompts the clearing out of the old to let in the new.
I have witnessed this trends also in a couple of my own friendships, which initially I thought would last a life-time, but they ended quite suddenly. In hindsight those friendships ended in my best interest, and who knows, perhaps in the best interest of the other parties too.
One such friendship was very toxic all the way through, but I now realize that I was probably enabling this friend, both on the phone and in person, by always being available to her. Meanwhile, she had been bad mouthing me and spreading vicious rumors about my personal life and my relationship with my father. This cut me deeply in the end, but I was only too glad that my dad, who was still alive at the time, never got to hear any of this. He would have been devastated that something so evil could be fabricated about me.
A Spiritual Approach To Chronic Complainers
Don’t complain, don’t ever complain. These are words I read in a book long ago, and they have stuck in my mind ever since. However, I certainly seem to have attracted a lot of complainers into my life – moaners and critics who have taken the very process to an art form! Amongst these individuals are family, friends and love relationships, and they are all challenging in their own way.
I have come to the conclusion that the lesson those souls have given me, is to rise above the irritation, and perhaps to try and see their predicament and unhappiness from a place of compassion. I have since managed to become less affected by other people’s groaning, because I stopped thinking that their displeasure might be my fault, or that I could ‘fix’ them and turn them from a ‘cup-half-empty’ type of person to a ‘cup-half full.’
Learning To Deal With Toxic Individuals
If, as many teachings suggest, there is spiritual growth in every experience, and in particular the more difficult times, then being strongly affected by another person’s negative behavior must also be one of life’s lessons.
I have been pondering this because of the increase in psychic reading calls I have been getting related to this very topic. Some of my clients have been profoundly upset lately by the negative outbursts of people in their lives, including family, friends, partners, work colleagues, or even random altercations in public places.
I love these words from the poem Desiderata: “Avoid the loud and the aggressive – they are vexations to the spirit.” How very true. However, more often than not, we are not in the position to avoid those individuals altogether, in order to escape their toxic influence. Even in a friendship turned sour, we often want to give the toxic friend the benefit of the doubt, knowing that they don’t always behave that way. We might even be in love with a negative person, hoping we can change them one day. Continue reading